There is a sand pile at the entrance of the community, which is a paradise for children.
I passed by yesterday and saw a girl of seven or eight years old, playing with a small toy forklift and playing near the sand.
At this time, a boy came over and said, "Give me some time."
The girl is very simple: "No, this is mine, I will use it!"
The boy took the hand and grabbed it. The girl pushed him on the sand and ran away with his small forklift.
Not far away, a mother said to another mother: "Look at your house, there is no girl at all, it is a tomboy."
The girl mother smiled and said, "I just want to keep the girl as a boy, so that is safe."
This view, I heard it for the first time, so I deliberately slowed down and listened to her to continue:
"You didn't look at the news, those girls who were miserable by the bad guys, which one is not clever and obedient?"
When I heard this, I couldn't help but admire the wisdom of this mother.
This is really the case.
In recent years, whether it is the female net red killed by her ex-boyfriend in Zhejiang, or the female teacher who was hidden in the refrigerator by her husband earlier, after their murder, the public opinion went to an astonishing agreement:
First, some people suspected, and made rumors, saying that girls are greedy and rude, and they should be retaliated.
Later, the investigation found that these poor girls, all of whom are well-off, well-educated, and one is more docile than one, and one is more understanding.
They are all "good girls" in the traditional sense, but the ending is very fierce.
In the past we often said: "Girls need to be rich."
In our fantasies, the daughter is educated and sensible, and people are loved, and then she prepares a rich dowry for her. Then, after marriage, the daughter has a wealthy family, considers her husband, and respects her in-laws. She will naturally be cherished and passed. Happy days.
Such a girl, like a white and innocent lamb, no doubt likes to be liked.
However, don't forget, such a girl, slag men also like it.
One of my cousins is a standard niece, and she will blush even if she speaks loudly.
She listened to her parents and never talked about love in high school and college. After graduation, she made a boyfriend by blind date.
It didn't take long for the two to fall in love, because a small thing, the man hit her with a slap.
Switch to another girl, don’t break up, when will you wait? The cousin is also very sad: "I haven’t gotten married yet. If I get married, don’t I have a domestic violence?”
Unexpectedly, my boyfriend slammed down: "I'm sorry, I didn't mean it. When I was a child, my dad often hit my mom, which caused me a psychological shadow."
The cousin is a kind girl, and when I hear this, there is a bit of softness.
The man saw a play, continued to perform, and told the tragic experience of his childhood, and the cousin heard tears.
At this time, don't say anything forgiveness and forgiveness. The cousin is full of thoughts, how to help the poor boyfriend, out of his childhood shadow.
Holding the mission of "treating the sick and saving people", the cousin repeatedly endured the violence of her boyfriend. Outsiders saw the scars and asked, she also covered her boyfriend.
In this way, the cousin got deeper and deeper, and finally married a violent man and gave birth to a child.
Until now, violent men have not gone out of the "childhood shadow", but the more they become addicted. - Since someone else will go to jail, calling a wife will be forgiven, why not?
You see, for the scum, goodness is useless.
Never train your daughter into a sheep. When the daughter is cultivated into a sheep, the wolf will naturally remember.
However, in real life, there are too many lamb-like girls.
There is a girl in my relative who is as big as me. I was educated at an early age and learned that the book is generally sensible. It is a well-recognized girl.
When she got married, her dad stood proudly on the stage and said:
"Today I will hand over my daughter to you! My daughter is especially simple and kind, has filial piety and love. I hope she can take good care of her husband, honor her in-laws, be a good wife, a good wife, a good mother."
I was listening at the time, and my heart was not a taste.
Sure enough, after the girl got married, she was not happy.
She worked hard at home and even agreed to live with her mother-in-law. Her mother-in-law is not satisfied with her, often looking for various reasons, yelling at her.
She felt wronged, and her husband advised her: "I know that my mother has a bad temper. But my father died early, relying on my mother to raise a family alone. If she is not this temper, how can she prop up this home?"
If it is not good, my husband will cry and cry: "I can't live without you, without you, our family will be scattered!"
The kind girl chooses to continue to be patient. In two years, you have neurasthenia and depression.
After the girl became ill, her husband’s family found that she had been taking medicine for many years, could not have children, and offered to divorce. She finally took her away like a bag.
She suddenly realized that there is anything wrong with it? What is wrong with you?
You are not qualified to expect others to consider it for you.
Roses look good, but they must have thorns.
Excessive kind girl, unearthing the thorns on her body, can only be picked.
Therefore, don't believe in the words "girls should be simple, docile, kind".
Be aware that girls and boys will face the same world in the future.
She must be as bloody as a boy, possessed wisdom, has the means, and has the courage to attack the city to stand up.
A friend has a daughter, she said:
"The woman is aware of the dangers of the world."
"I would rather stand on my daughter's wedding for many years, telling everyone, my daughter is so wicked, no evil, no evil, is a mixed king."
"I don't want to be so many years later, when my daughter is being bullied, I regret why I didn't tell my daughter how to protect her dignity and interests and make her grow a stupid sweet."
Everything is silly and sweet, all for the scum male.
Girls don't need more kindness than boys.
Instead, she needs more opportunities, more capital, and more initiative.
She needs to have the ability to make more choices, rather than standing in a good position, waiting for the choice of fate.
Kindness is a foreign term. Only by learning to preserve the subject of self, you are qualified to say goodness.
So, dear daughter, you really don't need to be too kind.
Learning to love yourself is more important than goodness.
5 bottom lines written to my daughter
In the face of a beautiful world, we should love it. But whenever you are, be alert to the evil and learn to protect yourself.
Tell your daughter that being a good person, but not stupid, must have a bottom line
- Your weak partner is strong, please don't be kind
Daughter, you are a child and a woman. Walking on the street meets a healthy adult and asks for help. Mom wants you to refuse this request.
As an adult, he should be able to solve this problem himself, or turn to another adult instead of looking for a child who is much weaker than him. Such help is often buried in danger.
- When the other party asks you to enter the enclosed space, please don't be kind.
In public places, many actions of the bad guys are not dare to display, but when you take you to a closed space, everything is hard to say. Therefore, when a stranger asks you to come to his home or store to help, please reject him.
- Don't be kind to face lazy people who are looking for help for a long time.
Daughter, mother has heard a joke before:
When a person goes to work every day, he will pay a piece of money to his door. Half a year later, one day he suddenly did not want to give it. As a result, when he passed the shackle, he smashed him.
There is a kind of person in this world who is particularly lazy to do. When you help him for the first time, he will gradually take your good help for granted. One day, when you suddenly decide not to help him, he will forget all the kindness he applied to him in the past, but hate you for not helping you at this time.
- Life is at a critical juncture, please don't be kind
As a girl, when there is a natural disaster, please save your life first. We should evacuate the danger zone as soon as possible, and then inform the police or the troops to rescue the people trapped in the disaster. Sometimes, regardless of whether you rush into the rescue site, it will bring more trouble to the rescue.
- Don't confuse compassion and love
Daughter, when you grow up, you will meet love.
You may meet a wage earner who is in a foreign land. You may meet a boy who has just been abandoned by his girlfriend. You may also encounter a divorced uncle who is twenty years older than you.
Then, the goodness in your heart is fully motivated, and you suddenly want to bring him warmth, want to save him, want him to laugh again, you want to love him. Just, girl, you must calm down and understand clearly, whether you sympathize with him or really love him, love and compassion are fundamentally different. When you rush into your love, perhaps you finally discover that you are just sympathizing with him, but he is likely to let your later life fall into tragedy.