Why ‘sluts?’
Well, because I’m a self-proclaimed slut. I’m a slut for one, but a slut nonetheless. One of my dreams is to be a submissive bimbo-slut for Daddy. (<-- If that term triggers you, so will the rest of the article, and I highly suggest you leave and maintain your joy and sanity.)
Picture a beautiful woman. She's unashamed and confident in her body. She knows it's a valuable blessing and a huge advantage getting what she wants out of life, and she uses it well. She shows off skin when she wants to. She struts and poses and preens when she wants to. Men desire her and other women secretly want to be her. She's a queen like Cleopatra. She’s a star like Marilyn Monroe. She's what many might call a ‘slut’, and she’s loud and proud about it. This is my dream.
Part of that dream is to improve my skin (Jay likes smooth skin, but so do I). I want to be the best at everything I do and am, so having ‘flawless’ skin is important to me. I want to be slim, stacked, and smooth. And since I love other sluts too, I thought I’d share my research with others. And let me tell you, it’s been a wild, skincare adventure so far. It’s the most research and the longest thing I’ve ever written on any subject… ever. And the stuff I’ve learned on my skincare mission can help non-sluts too. But it’s catchier to just mention sluts in the title. Still, this article is for anyone who loves their skin, although from a slut’s perspective.
So let’s begin.
My Skin Was Gross AF.
For MONTHS I’d been getting a small rash on the backs of my hands.
Think of something gross and cringy, I dunno, leprosy. Or psoriasis. Or 3rd degree burn scars. That’s what a patch of my skin looked like. Really unappealing. And also scary! Like WTF, this wasn’t normal. Not cool. I, of course, wondered what was going on.
First, I thought it was because I was washing my hands a lot (I have a thing about my hands feeling clean and soft). Then I thought it was because I wasn’t putting any lotion on. Then I thought it was because it was so cold. The rash came and went for months. It stayed small and didn’t even itch.
Until one day I broke out in the rash, but it was everywhere. It was even around my eyes, swollen, cracked, and red! It didn’t stay in the small patch it had been, it was all over the backs of my hands. Then it spread to my eyes and my neck. I don’t ‘do’ doctors so I knew there was a way to heal it at home without dealing with one. But I panicked and called my mom to send me some antibiotics and Cortisone 10 to help with the itch. But those things just made it worse. I assumed my rash had an external cause, so an external cure should’ve worked. I was wrong.
My right hand...
My left hand...
My neck and chest...
My eyes...
It happened because I was being a jealous, judgmental hag, lol. Very un-slut-like.
Self-Healing Your Skin Is Possible, And Easier Than You Think
I realized that I had resentment for people in my past. I was being judgmental and that caused me to break out. The more I judged, the worse the rash itched. And I know that the majority of physical ailments are because of an emotional situation.
"It's known that stress gives rise to disease. It's also known that many diseases, especially stress-related diseases, can be cured by placebos - pills that have no medicinal effect, but people think they do, and so they do." - Richard Dawkins
I talked to Jay about it and he was like…”How’s your energy about your skin? Your body? Life?”
I felt called out.
But then I confessed what I was doing...creeping the profiles of people I dislike.
You ever done this? Looked up someone online who you don’t like, then sent a bunch of judgy energy their way, when you could’ve been bringing light into the world instead? Like, no one forced me to go look at these people. I could’ve blocked them. Or moved on and forgotten about them. But now, it’s almost like I was ‘compelled’ to cyberstalk them with hate-rays.
Well, t was bringing my energy way down and making me itchy and angry. Admitting it was the first step, and I felt better emotionally, but I still needed serious belief changes. (I refuse to stay angry or jealous of anyone. NO ONE has anything that I can’t have for myself.)
Jay and I also worked through some crap from our past and talking about some of my internal thoughts, judgments, etc. helped even more.
I’ll get into these ‘hard conversations’ and how they helped more later. The result was that my itching skin began to soothe. Little by little, the itch was leaving, but the ugly rash wasn’t. To me, this meant I was on the right track, but I knew that getting my mind right was just the first step. I knew more healing was in store for my sensitive skin after I got my energy & mood right too.
Breakouts Were My Blessing And Taught Me About Myself.
WHY didn’t I figure out that my skin was breaking out because I was being judgemental and hateful? It seems obvious now, but you’d be surprised how many people don’t make the connection for a long time.
It’s pretty obvious though. Most of the women you look up to for #skingoals put judgment, hate, and resentment away a long time ago (besides an occasional moment here or there), and they truly blossomed only after doing so.
Fortunately, it didn’t take me too long before I figured it out.
And Jay played a big part, he’s so helpful and loving. He suggested that whatever was happening with my skin might be internal. And suggested I relax about it, that I put Vitamin E oil on it (way more on this later), and that I raise my energy about my skin.
Did I listen? Not really. I’d love to say I immediately spot good advice and apply it every time, but sometimes we have to learn the hard way. So I said “yes, ok,” but secretly was being stubborn about it all. I DID put vitamin E on but was still having negative thoughts about it helping me. I didn’t believe his advice would work, and I didn’t tell him I was being a judgmental asshole (More on how these beliefs held me back later.)
Eventually, though, it all came out.
But before Jay called me on my shit, he let me try dealing with it on my own. He didn’t push me even once. He was quite patient and loving, which if you’ve ever gone through body issues, you know is important to have around you while you heal. (It’s hard to heal with some know it all forcing their agenda on you or trying to decide how fast you should progress.)
And I wasn’t just judging Vitamin E cures, or my skin, or my past. I was angry I couldn’t take any more selfies either. My photos looked awful with those bright red eyes and super-swollen lids and with oil all over them too.
I Hated Looking In The Mirror.
Plus, the antibiotics made it worse. The itching was taking over my life and I KNEW I had to stop it.
So I decided to meditate on it. Not a 15-minute meditation, I mean like, all day I meditated on it off-and-on for hours. I worked a little, then meditated for longer, then worked some more, and then more meditation.
When I came out of one of my meditations, I realized that my body was unhappy with my food intake. I was eating processed foods, drinking lots of soda pop, and not taking care of my body well enough. I was barely working out once a week, but I wasn’t really doing a good job.
And while I was meditating, I kept thinking about fruit. My body was trying to tell me to give up sugar and processed foods.
So I listened to my body and gave them up.
I decided to change my diet. I started by giving up coffee and sugar. I was a caffeine and sugar addict.
I’d Been Living On Reese Cups And Diet Coke.
It still sounds delicious, but now, no thanks! I’d only been drinking water when I had to, like when I ran out of diet coke, lol.
But, I had a vegan phase a few years ago, so I knew I could change my diet. I just wasn’t prepared for the amazingness that would happen shortly after I did.
I told Jay what I planned to do and he was all about it. No sugar, no coffee, no breakfast (I eat after I work out now in the mornings). No processed food anymore. He was up for whatever I wanted. He is always so encouraging, but also reminded me that outside stuff won’t help until I deal with the inside stuff.
He was right.
I realized I was still holding onto jealousy, anger, and childhood trauma. I sat down with Jay and we talked about a bunch of things that I was angry about. Things from our past together, and separate too.
It was many hard conversations in a single week. I’d sit down, explain some hurt I’d been feeling, and we’d work through it together until I took responsibility for my role in it. We’d talk it out until I made peace with it, and realized how my pain was serving me, causing me to cling to it. His calm, logical mind and willingness to take responsibility for his own choices was a great example for me.
So I let go of a bunch of negative feelings about people that I perceived as having hurt him, people that I was jealous about, people that had hurt me too.
I realized that I was putting hidden ‘rules’ on other people which for me is disgusting. I LIVE for freedom. I meditate with the word freedom every single day. So how dare I put rules on other people’s lives? Who am I to decide what other people think, do, or say?
I let go of the rules I had in my mind (for years) for others. I let go of rules for myself. I let go of jealousy, anger, and regret. Jay and I talked for days.
I had been judging him. Judging others. Judging myself. Judgment was literally making me ill.
After days of talking and finally feeling better emotionally, I was inspired to make another small dietary change, that had a big impact. I began drinking some Apple Cider Vinegar (ACV!).
Between my better emotional state, no sugar or processed food, and the ACV, the remaining rash that was attacking my body started to clear up.
It's Not About Diet... But It Is.
Sluts love food.
Ok, ok, everyone loves food, lol! Food is delicious and gives us lots of energy. But I was someone who didn’t just eat food, I ‘used’ it. I used it like a ‘user’ uses drugs. I used it to feel better, I used it for comfort, I used it to replace emotions. I hated feeling anything. So I ate to ‘feel good.’ But I ate, like most overweight people, lots of junk food. I never drank water, and I especially loved Reese cups and Diet Coke.
When I decided to give up processed food and sugar and see if just eating just fruit, vegetables, and sour-dough bread (it’s good for Candida overgrowth - gross at-home test here:, I guessed it would improve my skin.
And it did, but it did much more than that.
For example, I have black hair. It was once super thick and long. But a bout of alopecia lost a lot of it, and when it grew back, it was thin and short. I still wanted it to be thicker and darker again.
So about two weeks into my new diet I looked in the mirror and was so happy to see the changes in my face. My skin was glowing, softer and smoother, with fewer wrinkles. And OMG, my hair! My new diet had made my hair thicker, darker, and shinier. It looked so healthy!
So What Did I Eat To Improve My Appearance?
I googled “foods good for Candida overgrowth”, but ended up making my own list of things I’d found. I have experimented personally with these foods and this is what’s working for me now.
- All fruit (frozen and fresh).
- Potatoes (not sure about these)
- Sourdough bread
- Lots of bananas
- Peanut Butter
- Almonds
- Cashews
- Plain Greek yogurt
- Raw honey
- Corn nuts
- Sunflower seeds
- Broccoli
- Spinach
- Tomato
- Green onion
- Cilantro
- Lemon
- Chicken
- Beef
- Fish
- Flaxseed
- Chia seeds
- Hemp seeds
This is basically all I eat. Recently I’ve had a few bits of processed food and it’s still causing me to itch after. So I know it has to be 100% off the menu for me.
Here are a few pics of the lunch that I usually eat. Not every day but almost.
I Also Started Paying Attention To My Water Intake.
I realized I was always thirsty. So I upped my water intake. Since I gave up diet coke and coffee, all I’ve been drinking is water. I start my day with a cup of water instead of coffee. Giving up coffee was so much easier than I ever thought. “Oh, want to stop scratching your entire body and feel better? Yes?”
Then no coffee for me. I thought it might be hard to give up that sweet, divine nectar each morning, but it’s easy once you know the side-effects are ugly skin. The days I have had coffee just made me itchy, so it’s out.
Healthier food and water changed my appearance immediately. After years of mistreating my body and eating and drinking so poorly, I was finally listening to what my body was craving. And yeah, it still ‘wanted’ Reese Cups but it WANTED healthy food and water more. My hair and skin are thriving, stronger, shiny, and just obviously healthy now. It’s made me so happy to see this just from eating and drinking healthier.
A Doctor Once Taught Me How To Cure ‘Anything Internal’...
Well, let me be clear about what she taught me exactly.
My daughter has ulcerative colitis and her gastroenterologist once told me “You can cure any internal ailment with fruits and vegetables.” I was surprised that a doctor wasn’t pushing meds but instead pushing a plant-based diet for my daughter. And she advocates for it for everyone. But especially those with medical issues.
It’s refreshing to find a doctor that believes in natural healing with fruit and veg. And she’s right. When my daughter ate a strict plant-based diet, her UC never acted up and she was able to heal her large intestine. But when she eats junk food or even meat, her UC acts up.
But it’s also her beliefs, moods, and choices. Her body is trying to tell her to fix her emotions and when she eats plant-based, is when her body is happiest, but she still ignores it at times. It’s ok because I did too. I love sugar and want chocolate, but when I eat it my body starts to rebel, and I break out in itchies again.
I highly recommend you eat healthier for clear, smooth, soft, skin.
On A Related Note, Let’s Talk Probiotics.
While all this was going on, Jay gave me The Probiotic Promise; Simple Steps To Heal Your Body From The Inside Out by Michelle Schoffro Ph.D. DNM, and I found it extremely interesting.
I have taken probiotics a lot to help with tummy issues I’ve had in the past. And since I took a round of antibiotics when I first broke out, I figured I needed probiotics again. So I want to give you some information from this amazing book that was really helpful to me.
Probiotics literally mean “supports life,” whereas antibiotic means “against life.” Within each of these words, you’ll actually find the method by which they work. Probiotics work in many different ways, but all of them support health so your body will be stronger to fight harmful pathogens. They primarily work by strengthening the beneficial bacteria in your intestines and elsewhere in your body. An increased number of beneficial microbes can also sway the “intermediate” microbes to act as beneficial microbes. Conversely, antibiotics indiscriminately kill microorganisms, both beneficial and harmful. With that rampant killing of microbes, harmful microbes can more readily settle and take hold in the body, leaving us vulnerable to infections. That’s why so many people complain of getting a yeast infection or other type of infection or diarrhea and other uncomfortable symptoms after a period of antibiotic use.
This Is Why I Got Worse When I Took Antibiotics.
My body was desperately trying to make beneficial bacteria but the antibiotics were killing them, and this caused me to break out more. I didn’t just get a yeast infection...I was a walking yeast infection. The rash on my body was definitely Candida. The more I ate sugar, took antibiotics, and drank pop, the worse my rash became. I stopped the antibiotics and went for a high dose of probiotics and combined with the ACV...the itching eased up and the rash started to fade.
Here’s more from Dr. Shoffro…
What’s All the Fuss About Gut Health Anyway? What happens in your gut plays a significant role in determining the health of your whole body. Your gut plays a critical role in the health of your brain, joints, respiratory system, and much more. It is a factor in whether you’ll experience allergies or have a healthy immune system. Although more and more people are talking about gut health, it’s usually not in the context of our health beyond the gut. But there is good reason to start considering gut health as a key factor in maintaining or restoring great health throughout your body.
I had a leaky gut, which is why probiotics helped to heal my rash.
What’s A ‘Leaky Gut?‘
It’s a condition in which the intestinal walls become increasingly permeable, allowing intestinal contents such as bacteria, viruses, toxins, food particles, or intestinal waste to travel across the wall to the bloodstream and making us vulnerable to inflammation, immune conditions, and many other health problems. Some of the symptoms of a leaky gut include bloating, cramps, fatigue, food sensitivities, flushing, achy joints, headache, and rashes.
Leaky gut was one reason I got the rash but really what made it go out of control was me being a jealous, hateful, haggy bitch to other women. Ok, so some of them aren’t my friends, and some lied, and some hurt someone I love... buuuut still that’s NOT a reason to be hating on anyone, especially in secret.
“What is done in the dark will eventually come to light” - Luke 12:2 (Yeah, that’s right, this slut just dropped a bible verse on you, lol.)
And my secret hate and jealousy made me feel worse. Not just what I was thinking about others, but then feeling guilty for thinking it at all, and for hiding these dark truths about myself shamefully. All of this combined caused my issues. But that’s ok because once I admitted these things to myself, and then to Jay, I was able to start healing my insides... and my skin too.
Why do I keep mentioning Jay?
Well, when I first met Jay and started my transformation, he sent me a bunch of great resources to help me. Art resources, biz resources, and more. And one of the main things I’ve wanted to transform for years was my body. And I had a lot of weird beliefs about food and my body especially. And Jay is the person who got me to see things differently. In fact, early on, Jay made a post on Instagram that was super helpful to me, and I thought I’d share an edited version of his post here.
Jay’s View On Food, His Metabolism, And What He Can Eat.
Photo by @Ryzeonline
Jay has an amazing attitude about food. From the first time, we talked about food, all the way up to today when I brought this topic up. I told him that I was going to write about his beliefs about food and his body. He got all animated and started to tell me how much he loves food, and how he can eat anything and his body knows what to do with it. He raved about how his body metabolizes food quickly and easily. How his body can handle anything. His self-talk about food is so inspiring.
Jay’s food attitudes amazing.
His core food-philosophy is: “Anything external is no match for the miraculous internal powers of my body.” His seeks out people like Wim Hof, who has taught his students to cure disease using only their internal organs, through breathwork and cold-therapy, all under lab conditions.
I LOVE Jay’s beliefs about food and his body. He has a list of body affirmations that he added to the Instagram post I’m about to share with you. I didn’t tell him but when he posted them I wrote them on some notecards and I would say them in the mirror to myself every day. Here they are. The following was written by
“Our thoughts & emotions are the most powerful tools we have, because we're consciousness in physical form.
⠀
This means our beliefs & attitudes decide how well our bodies function. Our thoughts decide how strong or sexy we are. Or how healthy we are. In every circumstance. Under all conditions.
⠀
If something's out of whack, there's a belief at the root of it.
'Cause let's be honest, most people have shitty beliefs about their bodies. And if you're building an empire, you can't afford that.
Here's a few of MY body beliefs:
⠀
- My immune system's impressive.
- My digestive system's efficient.
- My endocrine system's a blessing.
- My nervous system's brilliant.
- I'm free to consume anything.
- My cells can metabolize anything.
- My body's a sophisticated chemical factory.
- It produces ANY chemical I desire, in any quantity.
- My cells are intelligent.
- I listen to my body's messages & trust them.
- My beliefs & emotions are the main factor in my body's well-being.
- My breathing is the second factor.
- My body can reverse-aging.
- It's fine & normal for my body to gain muscle & lose weight simultaneously.
- Trillions of my cells are reborn all the time.
- My body easily & consistently maintains balance.
- My body's internal systems are far superior to anything external.
- My body easily creates unlimited energy for me, from the abundant oxygen around.
- Animals love their bodies, and I love mine.
That's probably more true, authentic, body-positivity than any reader has encountered in a long time. Possibly ever.
Which feels more right for you... MY list of body beliefs, or the ones you've been bombarded by since birth?
Which body beliefs would you wanna believe?” - J-Ryze
Can you see why I loved this list of affirmations? OMG, they were life-changing. Kinda makes me wanna go back to using them! Holy... I can never shut up about Jay being so helpful and amazing. (You’ll have to bear with me, dear reader.)
So admitting my crappy behavior, thoughts, moods, and improving my diet (ACV!) got the itching under control. Next, it was time to tackle the dryness left behind.
Yep, my rash was ‘gone’ but the skin left behind was wrinkly, dry, and painful which is not too pretty for a slut that wants to show off like me.
But how? What should I do next? More diet things? More emotional work? Do I just google “dry skin left behind after candida rash cure?”
My research began again, this time deeper down the rabbit hole.
And I discovered something very intriguing.
Whether You Like It Or Not, Skin Lives In The Feminine Realm.
I went to YouTube to look for people talking about skincare. I wanted to know what the experts know about skincare, and what they would recommend. And it opened up a whole new world. I found lots of skincare information from YouTubers but I also found a bunch of feminine women talking about skincare in regards to their femininity.
I’m always researching multiple topics at any given time. So as I was researching skincare, I was also researching femininity and feminine energies. So to find people talking about both was nice for me and I realized that skincare has a lot to do with femininity. They’re connected.
We all have feminine and masculine inside us, and we can all ‘express’ either one in any given moment. The trick is to express in ways that suit you specifically. For some people that means mainly skincare & beauty routines, for others it means mainly entrepreneurial hustle, for others it’s a blend of both, or something else entirely.
Anyway, when I spent a lot of time in my ‘masculine energy,’ I didn’t care about my appearance. I didn’t care about makeup, skincare, or fashion. (I enjoy lounging in sweats, but I like to wear lipstick, jewelry, and do my hair to feel nice while I work from my room every day.)
One of the things I was working on was tapping into my feminine energy to feel better. In the past, I tended to get into that masculine ‘work mode’ energy and just stay there. I couldn’t figure out why I’d feel crunchy later. Sometimes Jay would remind me to dance and that would make it all better. But I didn’t get why until I researched it.
It’s because dance is a pretty ‘feminine’ thing to do. (Remember, we all have both energies inside us.) It calls out my feminine energy the moment I start dancing. I listen to music all day long while I work to keep my feminine close by, but the dancing just brings it out full force.
Another thing that brings out feminine energy is self-care, makeup, skincare routines, and bathing. Water is feminine energy, always flowing.
The more I watched these videos of feminine women talking about skincare, the more I realized that one of the reasons I was getting angry and looking at profiles of people and judging them was because I wasn’t spending any quality time in my feminine. If I was, I’d have been celebrating them.
Dang, this skincare research was going deep, but I still needed to figure out how to rejuvenate my dry, sensitive skin.
So Began My Skin Care Product Experiments.
There were all kinds of products suggested to me in these videos. My interest in them was peaked. So I decided that since I’m eating natural foods that I wanted something natural for my skin too. I googled, ‘natural skin care remedies for dry skin.'
And I got all kinds of suggestions from yogurt, to cucumber, to Vitamin E, to shea butter, and on and on.
I decided to stick to 5 items to experiment with. I would use some stuff I’ve used in the past and some new suggestions too. Here’s what I bought.
- Coconut Oil (I use this in my face & chest scrub and to remove my makeup).
- Vitamin E (I use this all over my face and some scars on my arms and on my chest)
- Shea Butter (I use this on my shoulders, arms, hands, under my boobs, back, tummy, & legs).
- Aquaphor (I use this on my feet).
- Sudocrem (I’m not currently using this).
5 products to experiment with. Would you choose these 5 to try if your skin looked like mine? Would you be desperate to fix your skin yourself or would you run to the doctor for answers?
I experimented with all 5 of these products and my skin definitely changed...but was it for the better? Or for worse?
What products do you think worked best for me? What would you try first?
Want to know how it ends? Want to know how it looks now?
~Love, Cyn
