People talk a lot about "self-improvement," and many of us have even attended an assortment of workshops and seminars on some variation of the idea of "becoming the best version of ourselves we can be."
Maybe it sounds familiar to you, as well...
What is "Self-Improvement," Really?
What are we really traying to accomplish? What are our real dreams and desires, here?
For most people, there's some kind of recognition that part of the equation of our lives could use a little work; it could be better.
In some ways, it's a bit like so0called "New Year's Resolutions" which set us on the course towards some sort of personal goal: I'm going to get in shape, lose weight, organize my house, learn a new skill... whatever.
Of course, the real challenge inevitably turns out to be that pesky issue of sticking to it, whatever "it" might be. It just seems to damned hard, sometimes!
Are You Actually READY?
Most of the time, when our plans don't go... as planned... it's not really because we set the wrong goals, or didn't plan well, the problem tends to be that we're not actually ready for the changes we're embarking on.
Sure, we might think we're ready, and we can wrap ourselves around the intellectual aspects of readiness, but if our hearts and spirits aren't onboard, we're pretty much doomed to failure... something I have learned the hard way many many times.
The thing about self-improvement that's actually worth something and genuinely capable of changing our lives is that it requires a sincere readiness for a change to happen. some form of half-hearted "dabbling" just isn't going to cut it.
Sadly, much of the time, actual changes that last end up being forced upon us.
For example, my beachcombing friend Dan didn't seriously change his lousy eating habits and start losing his 40 extra pounds until a small heart attack sent him to the emergency room... where he also was told — in not so many words — that he was basically a ticking time bomb, unless he started eating better and shed the weight.
Of course, making changes doesn't have to be quite that dramatic!
However, we do have to reach a crossroads of sorts in which we realize that we're essentially not going to see any improvement in some kind of difficult/unpleasant aspect of our lives unless we sincerely commit to change. And then we need to keep following up!
And that can definitely take a while, and may include a number of "false starts" before actually changing a habit "takes hold."
It Doesn't Have to be "Unpleasant!"
Effectuating major changes in our lives doesn't necessarily have to be in connection with something unpleasant.
Even so, it can still be remarkably challenging.
When I determined that I needed to take my art more "seriously," if I wanted any chance of creating some kind of commercial success, it was far more difficult than anticipated. The real challenge lay in actually making time to work on it every day.
Doesn't make sense, because doing something creative should be fun, right?
But I soon enough realized that I always had lots of excuses for why I "needed to" take care of other things first... usually relating to the "functional aspects" of daily life.
Or so I was Telling Myself...
In truth, I was actually "telling myself stories," because what I really needed to give up time doing and instead spend on art was time "wasted" with social media, and a bit of gaming, and various "busy work" routines in my life that really didn't contribute anything of value... but I was used to doing them, every day.
Looking at all the bits and pieces taught me a lot about the importance of actually being fully ready to make changes in your life... which is ultimately what self-improvement is about.
One of the things that's often overlooked is the importance of adjusting the "infrastructure" of your life — often things that have nothing to do with your new goal — to actually support your desire for change.
I don't know any clever shortcuts to determine actual "readiness" to make changes... but I would suggest taking a good bit of time to take a hard look at what actually needs to happen to make a new goal possible. Because simply having the goal is not enough!
Thanks for reading, and have a great rest of your week!
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Created at 20221205 23:28 PDT
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