A Reflection on Fitness, Mental Health, and Life's Priorities

Checking the #marchinleo prompt for today reminded me of how long it’s been since I worked out. 2 years ago when I was in University, I used to go to the gym on and off in response to the state of my mental health (and sometimes finances). After Uni, I didn’t have the time to hit the gym or have access to a gym near me, so the gym stuff was on hold for a bit until I moved to Tamale to start my National Service. In that space of time, I only went for runs occasionally with my friends.

Once in Tamale, I got myself a gym membership at the campus gym of the university I worked at. That didn’t last long though. I abandoned the gym sometime in the middle of last year when the reality of my finances hit me hard. I was barely affording eating 3 times daily, so it was clear bulking up should not be a priority.

I couldn’t afford the bulk up science

All the times I’ve been going to the gym, my intentions have never been to bulk up, except the last time I was there last year. The reason I wanted to bulk was a very silly. I won’t be telling you about that, but I think that’s also part of why I eventually stopped: cos I didn’t have a strong enough why to keep me coming back.

My trainer (or should I say friend who was training me, cos I didn’t really have a designated “trainer”) encouraged I had to eat lots of proteins to compliment the workouts I was doing if I wanted to put on any muscle.

The science is that when you’re lifting weights, you’re exerting mechanical stress on your muscles, causing them to tear. Hold your horses, I don’t mean tear as in extreme damage. I mean tear as in that your muscles stretch. So when you eat foods rich in protein, they repair the torn muscles, adding weight and mass to the already existing muscles.

My trainer also advised I drink lots of water too. Although, I’m still struggling to understand what exactly the water will be doing in putting on some muscle.

Missing the feel-good perk of the gym

I have missed the good feeling. You know, that feeling of fulfilment and .. you feel as you leave the gym? The most important reason I go to the gym normally is not to bulk up. It’s to run away from my problems. The gym surprisingly is my safe haven for when I’m in a bad place mentally. And the middle of last year, I was exactly that – in a bad place.

I’m not sure why that is, but I forget all my worries in the gym. I think it’s because the intense stress affords me less time to worry about things outside what I’m experiencing there. You can’t be thinking of … when you’re focusing all your strength on benching a 25kg weight. This was an example. I lift heavier. Lol

I also in general just love seeing my very small muscles tensed in contraction for the first few minutes after I just finished working out. I gaslight myself into believing bulking up is really possible for me when I see those immediate pre-workout muscle tension. But my genetics has proven bulking is almost an impossible task for me. Almost.

Will I ever go back?

Of course! Quiet honestly, why I’m not going right now is because I don’t have the time and money for it. I am very busy these days, barely surviving on only the 24 hours a day. I know this sounds like an excuse, maybe it is, but even aside that, there’s the fact that my finances don’t support evidence of me having a consistent gym membership right now. As soon as I get a bit of free time and some money, I’m definitely hitting the gym again.

I’ve never really thought of the gym (more appropriately I should say lifting weights) as a way to improve my over all physical health, so runs and my general walking on a daily should do for that. In the meantime, I’ll still be going on runs and swimming occasionally for health benefits. At the school I teach currently, the students and staff go on a run every Saturday morning. I haven’t been able to join them yet, but it’s definitely something I’m planning on getting involved with next semester.