Anxiety - The Before and After.

Anxiety.

MedlinePlus defines Anxiety as:

“A feeling of fear, dread and uneasiness. It might cause you to sweat, feel restless and tense, and have a rapid heartbeat. It can be a normal reaction to stress…”

We all have routines that makes up our daily lives. And sometimes, these routines keep us grounded. Like me, I know that some people are not really comfortable with change but they learn to accept it nonetheless albeit it takes a while and some might even struggle for a long time depending on the magnality of the change.

Photo by Anna Shvets from Pexels

Change differs and so does our response to it. What Mr. A would perceive as change may not be what Mr. B sees as change. How we are wired [from our experiences, background and education] also plays a part in how we react to change. To some people, change is always in a negative light. I don’t blame them especially if change was constant for them. Some accept and crave change. They look forward to new challenges and things that stretch them. I envy such people. And then some are neutral. They take life in stride.

I would say I am part of the third. I don’t actively look for change neither do I avoid it. Once I am given the opportunity or it finds me, I grasp it with both hands and use my super power [adaptability] to maneuver my way forward through whatever storm. Once again, change found me and I answered the call.

Last year, I joined the Saturday Savers Club with the goal to save for the move of me and my family to a better environment. It was not cheap of course, and required meticulous planning on my part. We had a business that would be moving too. Fast forward, we are moving months later, looking for a shop and re-starting the business. This is where change comes. Also, where anxiety grows.

Months leading up to the grand opening of our business, I battled anxiety. It would get to the point that I wanted to come across nothing related to the business. My chest would constrict, muscles grow tight and breathing labored. I would feel nauseous to the point it would feel like I was about to pass out. Most times it would lead to me breaking down in tears. I would have nightmares and all relating to my new life. I had never reacted this way to change before, so of course I was confused and lost on what to do. I had no idea what this feeling was called and thought of it as just the stress of all the work.

This affected my relations [friends, family, romance] as I grew a short fuse. I became easily irritated and would lash out at the slightest provocation. Still, I had no idea what was wrong. I had no idea what the source of all my stress was and just decided to deal with it in stride as I always did. I felt that I would figure it out. Which I did but with help.

My long time Hive friend and partner Hive account@tengolotodo, as wise as he is, knows my person and knows his business. He tried to get me onboard the learning of business processes months earlier but I would dodge every time because I was “stressed”. But soon, I was opening shop and the stress became real. I thought I’d be okay but I learned a great deal how important it is to draw a detailed plan of whatever undertaking you are about to embark on. This taught me a great deal. From always stressing out and having full blown panic attacks, I felt more in control when I finally carried out my duty as the watchman of our brand, and prepared what I would call a better plan [still have ways to go].

The summary of all this is, the stress we encounter in our daily lives [especially mentally] may be caused by us. We know what it is to do but we don’t do it until the last minute. We wait till we crumble under the weight of the pressure to act. This experience has taught me a lesson which I will not take for granted.