Appeal to people's self-interest

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When I was younger, my street brother was very rich, and we were kind of close. He would never give me money, no matter how genuine my reasons were. I realized that immediately help him with something he always gives me money that's equivalent to the help I render. The only statement he used to make then was he was doing this so that I would know that nobody owed me anything, but then I did not understand. I blame him for being stingy.

I've been blaming so many people in my life for not helping me. I've been judging them because I thought they had the power to help me, but they didn't, and the more I grew, the more I realized that life is short. We don't owe anybody anything, and people will only help you when you are doing something that is aligned with their self-interest and also when you are doing something that they will benefit one way or the other. It is always scarce for somebody to help you without having anything to do with your self-interest.

Nobody will take you seriously when you have nothing to offer

Having nothing to offer can make you seem irrelevant and unimportant to others. It can also make it difficult for people to want to help or listen to you. I used to be in this position, where I would blame others for not helping me without offering anything in return. However, after learning a skill, I realized that having something to offer not only made me more relevant but also helped me gain the attention and respect of others.

We have so many people in this category, especially in Africa, where people only blame the government for not helping them. Still, they have some faults too, which are having no skills, not going into any business, and the only thing we do is to blame the government for not helping. We believe everything should just happen like magic and the government should solve our problems and all we have to do is complain, and when we put ourselves in this position it only makes us irrelevant.

When asking for help let it work their self-interest

As I have grown, I have come to realize that complaining is not a helpful approach. Instead of solving the problems, it only fosters negativity and a sense of deprivation. Continuously finding faults and blaming others for our failures will not help us in any way. I have stopped blaming others for my problems and realized that nobody is obligated to assist me. Now, when I seek help, I ensure that the other person also stands to gain something. For example, if I need financial assistance, I make sure to offer an interest or a promise of repayment, so that the other person does not feel like they are doing it for free. This way, they can also earn some extra income.

Seeking help is not a sign of weakness or irrelevance but always let the other party involved gain something from it by presenting an opportunity, you can make the other party interested in listening to you and engaging in negotiation. While they may know that you are seeking help, they are also aware of the benefits they can gain in return. This is how life works - nobody does things for free. It is uncommon for people to help others without any expectation of something in return. People help based on their self-interest.

It is easy for people to ignore you when they don't have anything to gain from what you are saying, but it will be difficult to ignore you when they stand to gain something. When they see an opportunity in your words, they will listen to you. It makes them want to work with you and remember complaining will not change anything and we only make things worse.