All my life, I have always been closer to my Mom's family than my Dad's. It was probably because a lot of my maternal aunties and uncles live in the same town with us, so it was always easier to go over to them and spend some quality time with them. As a child, I wasn't even bothered that I didn't know so much about my dad's family, I didn't even care that I don't know the all the name of my dad's siblings. I was just okay in the zone I found myself.
But I as kept growing, it started to bother me that out of my Dad's 7 siblings, I only have one cousin who I barely got to know quite recently. My Dad and his siblings have a lot of underlying issues and rivalry that started way before I was born. These issues caused so much division amongst them that we weren't even allowed to speak to them or have anything to do with them. It's kind of worrisome that I might walk pass my cousin one day without even knowing it. I'm not saying my Mom side of the family is perfect, there are one or two persons over whom I know don't see eye-to-eye but, the situation is worse on my Dad's side.
Sibling fights are quite common in the family. They're from the same blood as truly as it is, but they are also humans with different personalities and lifestyles which may conflict as they interact. Growing up with 6 siblings, 5 sisters and a brother was as much fun as the fights. Being the second to the last child, I wasn't involved in so much sibling fights and family drama as a child, though I could remember times when my older siblings will fight over things causing my parents to scold them. Time flew by quickly and all of my older siblings got entangled in their own families leaving me and the lastborn behind and that was when I knew siblings could have real problems.
With just the two of us and our parents, it seemed like we had issues more than we enjoyed being sisters. Every little thing is a trigger when we were growing up, chores, our individual differences, our belongings. Personally, I didn't like sharing my stuff with my younger sister, there isn't much age difference between us so we are almost the same size in clothes and shoes. My sister on the other hand is from another world, we can literally have a heated fight few seconds ago and the next minute, I'm seeing my shoes on her feet or my earrings on her. A lot of times, she doesn't even ask for permission to borrow these things and I found it irritating.
We went physical on each other in our younger years once or twice but we were corrected with the right discipline from our parents. We had fights, yes, as every other sibling out there, but we were never rivals. We didn't compete with each other for any reason at all, not from the things we've done well at some point and definitely not from the favors we got from our parents. My parents made sure none of us felt more special or useful in the family than the others. I've had instances where my parents used one of my siblings as a good example but they always made us to understand that they just want us to be better version of ourselves and motivate us to do more in the right course. We didn't let that become a cause for rivalry and unending fights among us.
When I reflect on most families I know and see how much inner wars that are going on among them, I see more reasons to be thankful that I have 6 wonderful siblings I can call up to anytime without any restriction. That should be the way to go, it's called family for a reason. No matter how much we own, our accomplishments, the fights we had when we were together, in the end, the family that stood by us is what matters most.
Images are mine
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