Pain doesn’t always come from strangers. Sometimes, the people you trust the most are the ones that hurt you the deepest. That kind of pain doesn’t make noise, it just sits quietly in your chest. You try to understand it, but it keeps hurting.
That was how I felt in my first semester at 100 level. I was new to the university, full of energy and hope. I wanted to do well, I thought things would be like secondary school where we have group reading, sharing topics, and helping one another during exams if possible. I believed friendship meant having each other’s back.
I became very close to one girl in my department her name is Fatima. From the first week, we connected fast. We went to classes together, ate together, laughed a lot, and read together. People even thought we were sisters because we were always together, we shared the same hostel but different rooms. I trusted her completely.
When exams were getting close, we made a plan to make reading easier. For one of our most difficult courses, we decided to divide the topics. She would read five topics, and I would read the other five. After reading, we would explain the topics to each other. We even said if any question came out from the other person’s part, we would try to give each other a little signal. We took it seriously. We stayed up at night to read, helped each other understand things, and supported one another through it all. I believed we were both working hard, and I was proud of how prepared we were.
The day of the exam came. When I opened the question paper, two questions came directly from Fatima’s side the ones I didn’t read but I didn’t panic. I believed in our plan. I trusted her. So I gave her the small sign we agreed on. She looked at me, then quickly faced her paper. I thought maybe she didn’t understand, so I tried again. She ignored me completely. She acted like I didn’t exist.
At that moment, my heart dropped. I couldn’t believe it. This was someone I spent sleepless nights reading with. Someone I helped in our previous papers, Someone I trusted. She turned her back on me without even thinking twice. I was hurt, confused, and shocked. I just focused on what I could answer and left the hall quietly when time was up. I didn’t say a word to anyone. I went straight to my hostel. I couldn’t even cry. I just lay on my bed and kept asking myself, “Why did she do this?”
Later in the evening, Fatima came to our room smiling. She said, “Thank God I read those topics. That exam was not easy.” I looked at her as if I should punch her in the face but I kept my cool, I just asked her, “Why didn’t you answer me in the exam hall?” Her response made it worse. She said, “This is university. If they catch you, you’re on your own. I didn’t want to take any risk.”
That statement broke me. She wasn’t sorry. She didn’t feel bad. She didn’t care. After everything we did together, she left me when I needed her the most. From that moment, I changed. I didn’t fight her, I didn’t shout, I just slowly distanced myself. I stopped reading with her. I stopped sharing notes and I stopped trusting her.
I started reading all the topics by myself. It wasn’t easy, but at least I had peace of mind. I learned how to depend on myself and trust my efforts. That experience taught me one of the hardest lessons in university. No one owes you anything. People will laugh with you, eat your food, study with you but when things get serious, they may leave you to struggle alone. You have to be strong enough to carry your load. I’m thankful I learned that lesson early. It hurt a lot, but it made me stronger and wiser. It taught me to be careful with people. Not everyone who smiles with you is really for you. That disappointment changed the way I see friendship even though it broke my heart but it built my strength.
This is my response to day 23 of the #aprilinleo daily prompt. If you wish to join this prompt then you can click on this Link
