I was thinking now about mom and grandmother, about the older generation. The fact that at some point we became more mature than them.
We learned what they did not teach us. But it is very important to understand that they did not learn only because they themselves did not know how.
I think of the women of my family with great love and pain. Because it’s very hard for them.
Because we have learned, and they still don’t know how to: take a bath with foam after a hard working day, brew the most delicious tea, take food from the most beautiful dishes, don’t agree to unnecessary work and know the value of your work, do not save on food, Do not support boring and unnecessary conversations for the sake of politeness.
My mother and I, when I was 2 years old
Choose the best for yourself.
Insist on the best. This is what I learned.
Insist on the best mode, on the best working conditions, on the best attitude of your men and friends to yourself. To win a better life for yourself from YOURSELF!
And, of course, to be bold in order to say: "No, I do not like it."
To say this to others, you must dare to say it to yourself.
Now I have reduced my working day from 8 hours to 5 hours. I do not spare money on a taxi if I am tired or cold. I always dine on time and never replace breakfast with cold coffee in a hurry. I do not allow anyone to be rude, offend myself and devalue the importance and reality of my "complex" feelings.
I'm almost 4 here and I seem happy
It was a step by step that I learned from a millionth attempt.
I couldn’t do this before, but now I can.
I feel so good at this self-care, but it hurts after a second.
It hurts that in my childhood, my mother also came home from work very tired. But she certainly does not lie in a hot bath and does not do a massage for herself.
I can do all this, but my mother doesn’t.
It is elementary and simple: Love yourself, respect yourself, take care of yourself.
Like all children of my generation, the Internet has taught us this. Here, bit by bit, you learn every day that you can live as you like, that you are not ashamed to do so. We can live better and not settle for any garbage.
And the past generation had a completely different world, completely different information, attitudes and priorities. And they were there, by the way, well. And they taught us how they were taught in due time.
But in the modern world they are strangers. To many, everything around seems incomprehensible and strange. Everything turned upside down. They do not know what needs to be able and appreciated now.
And the fact that they know how: to be hardworking, selfless, sacrificial, reliable and stable, and not flexible - all this is no longer necessary.
But they are certainly no worse than us. No worse than all of these instagram stars.
Our parents are extremely kind, smart, well-read, hardworking, tolerant, vulnerable, lively. And worthy of insisting on the best. But they do not know how to do this. They are worthy people, but they are not trained in dignity.
This is my grandmother. This photo is special because it was taken that day when my grandmother found out that she was pregnant with my mother. See how her face glows?
The world has evolved so fast.
Only we are young and on such a stretch of the road, when much is yet to come. When after any blow you can leave and cry, and then go further, having learned this lesson.