It has been since last summer that I have stopped practicing Kuk Sool Won. And oh, how I miss it so.
I was really starting to get good, I was on my way to being red belted, such pride in the work it took to get there. I even had the pleasures of meeting the grand master, In Hyuk Suh. What a pleasure it was.
Now, I look back at what I could have been. If I would have stayed, I would have broken the board using a cool move, perhaps a certain kick or with the knee. I would have been working my way to brown belt by now.
I miss the family, the encouraging support they gave. And the many, many laughs....
I did things I never thought I could do.
Starting out, I remember throwing my first punches. It was far from being great. There's just something weird about punching air. I felt so weak, yet I imagined myself as such:
But it was more like this:
But it was nothing compared to my first kicks. As a kid, I used to love kicking, just for the fun of it. I was tall for my age and I would kick high to touch the top of the door frame. Only my toes would touch. But now... Like 20 years, 3 kids and 100lbs more later; no. Nope, Nuh-uh.
You go in there, thinking that after 2 months of training you will be doing this sort of stuff:
HA! That's amusing. Cause that is what I thought. No. It's got a lot more falls, weird leg movements and more torn muscles you didn't know you had. Or that I had...
Then there is the other struggle that I had. The choreographies and following the instructor and other members at the same pace. Once everyone goes at the same pace, it is a beautiful act to see. But then there is me. If I looked at other people, I would get messed up, confused and screw up. I couldn't go without looking because I had to make sure I was doing the same things at the same time. It was so frustrating, but at least the others had a good laugh. The best way I could make it happen was to believe in myself and my skills and look up at the ceiling, anywhere else but beside me.
Sometimes, our dojo master would have us do an intense workout and stretching. How fun for an unfit person like me.
Ok, sit ups were the easier ones. It was the push ups! The freaking push ups! I just sat there as I watched everyone do push ups. I know I would have looked like an idiot just sitting there, but hey, everyone had their heads down.
You know, one person's struggle is another man's comedy. I remember the one of the hardest challenges I need to conquer, and it was on I needed to be able to move on as it is one of the essentials in martial arts. Balance. I had none of it! I am a master at falling just from standing so you can just imagine. Quite a bit of laughter was created from that.
The biggest challenge of all! Was learning how to fall properly without getting hurt, err well hurt less that is. I wasn't able to do it. My body refused to do it actually. I would try, I tried hard I just couldn't do it. Then came the time to do a cartwheel as a means of getaway movements. A move that I could never achieve even as a kid. I tried to come up with any excuse, every excuse in the book to not do it and it didn't work. They all had ways of showing me how to do it using baby steps. With my ass in the air and fingertips on the ground, I would two- three step it. With enough practice, you'd think I'd get it, right? WRONG!
Never gonna happen.
So, yes, I do miss Kuk Sool Won. Will I ever go back? I don't know. It would mean having to start all that over. But If I were to go back, I would make sure I am at least 30 lbs less heavy than I am now and practice all that I have already learned a lot more to be able to go in and actually do what I had first imagined.
