Disappointment is something that comes to us when we expect too much or too less from someone or something. Most times we make assumptions in our heads that this person is this or that but at the end of the day we only realize that all these things were just in our heads. Dealing with disappointments can be really difficult especially when we fail to see that we are the reasons why we actually feel that disappointment because we are the ones that expect too much or too less.
When we judge people based on what others say or based on past experiences, we will most times end up being disappointed because the truth is, people change and not even the person undergoing that change knows when that change will come. For all these years I have lived, I have had expectations and over and over I keep learning that those expectations would only hurt me but that still, doesn’t stop me from having these expectations. It happens on its own most times and it is sometimes really annoying that I let the same mistakes happen repeatedly.
The feeling of disappointment is never a fun one. Especially when it is from someone you hold in high esteem, someone you love dearly or even from your own self. I grew up learning to blame myself for most things because I got to realize how we humans are emotional when it comes to some certain things. Telling someone of how disappointed you are in them can be hard because the truth is you don’t really know what happened and in the other persons mind, they actually went through so much and all they wish you could do for them was to give them a listening ear and tell them how well they have done.
So, instead of me to just feel disappointed for what people have done, I prefer to feel disappointed in myself for expecting too much from people and even from myself. I have been disappointed by so many people either by a promise made by them to me that they never fulfilled or by doing something that I would never have imagined they would do.
Once, when I was a little girl, my uncle came over to visit my dad and he spent time talking to us about how he wants us to take our studies seriously and all. He asked us so many questions regarding the future which I can’t remember exactly what my responses are but one thing was certain, I didn’t like some things he said. After much discussion with my siblings and I, he had to leave because it was getting late. While he was going, he gave us money which was a huge amount back then (N500). I was happy, at least after all his talk he gave us money to buy something.
Just for the moment we were feeling happy and planning how to share the money amongst ourselves, my uncle came back and asked us to give him back the money that he just realized that his transportation fee back home won’t be enough and then, he gave us a smaller denomination (N50). I was more than disappointed, I was pained. Tears almost fell down from my eyes. It was so disappointing and painful that I don’t think I’d ever be able to forget that experience because I was just a child then and you know how children love gifts or money.
I was little then and I somehow didn't like collecting money from people again except my dad because I know that my dad would never do that and even if he does that, he would only increase the money. I thought everyone was like my dad and I was disappointed to know that I was wrong. My uncle's reason was valid now that I think about it but back then when I understood nothing really, I felt like he was a wicked person and he didn’t care about us.
That experience is just a perfect example of how being disappointed is most times due to our expectations. Those people who disappoints us sometimes, are not really happy that they disappointed us, life just happened to them the way it might happen to you one day. So, let’s learn to know that in as much as we can’t completely stop having expectations, disappointments will always come but learn to also give yourself time to understand why something like that is happening before you make any decision on it.
This is my response to the Januaryinleo prompt day 18. Thanks for reading through. 🌹