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Just imagine what life would be like if we could get rid of anger and stress for good.
Life is a journey, and your life is going to be what you make of it.
It can be boring, just getting along from one day to the next, or it can be stressful, always putting out fires.
But it can also be a joyful journey, one where you can be excited about every new day.
It is all about what you make of it.
Well...that's easier said than done! How can we get rid of anger and stress while living in the world we are currently living in?
How Can We Enjoy Life While Living in a World of Violence and Anger?
We get bombarded daily with information from the physical world around us.
If you don’t take control of yourself and your emotions, this can become quite overwhelming. The sad part is that the majority of information that comes our way on a daily basis is intimidating, overwhelming, and downright depressing news.
"How can you expect me to take control of my emotions? I feel what I feel. I can't help it", you might say.
Well, you'll be surprised to learn how much control you do have over your emotions.
One of the first things you get taught when you want to learn about trading is to leave your emotions at the door.
There are many professions where people cannot afford to be emotional in their work. Think about people in the medical field, pilots (especially fighter pilots), and people in military service just to name a few examples.
"Yes, but I'm not in one of those professions", you might say. And that might even be because you see yourself as an emotional person.
If that is the case, so much more reason to take control of your emotions. And it can start with something as simple as being more particular about what you watch and what you listen to.
How often do you hear people say “I hate reading the newspaper, all you see is bad news? Why can’t we see some good news for a change”?
Yet, the irony is that very few people are actually interested in “good news”.
Some time ago, I watched a television documentary where some top journalists and news photographers got interviewed.
Some of these journalists discussed how they would go into Africa to cover the top news events. Yet, as they would enter countries where there is peace and where people are generally easygoing, they would be quick to leave those areas.
Why? Because they looking for sensation as that is what people want. They are looking for countries where violence is at the order of the day.
They would be looking for countries at war and where there is bloodshed on a daily basis. In peaceful areas, there is just not enough sensation and nobody would read about it.
So, everybody is talking about the bad state of world affairs and about violence being at the order of the day.
“When you open the newspaper, all you see is violence,” you say.
Yes, that’s true. That is all we read about, but it's because that is what sells newspapers. It is about creating sensation because that is what people want...sensation.
Yet, there is good news out there too. We just don’t really hear about it so often.
To find that good news, we might have to become more "choosy" about what we read and what we listen to.
Create Your World.
Are you living in fear because of all the bad news?
Then let me ask you this question. When is the last time when you had to scan your garden before dashing for the front gate without getting shot at?
How many millions of people (you, your friends, and family included) are happily and safely commuting on a daily basis, whether by air travel or by car and arriving at their destinations without giving a second thought about being involved in an accident.
Are you taking pressure at work or in your business because you have to perform?
Well, think of it this way... We all live in two “worlds”. We all live in our own “inner world”, and we live in the physical world.
The physical world is obviously the world around you. This is where everything physically takes place.
Living in your own “inner world”, is referring to how you experience life. It is your way of thinking and the way you respond to what happens in the world around you. How you perceive things.
Allow me to share one example of what I believe was a classical example of being under pressure versus performing well because you are under no pressure...
I love following the Super Rugby series.
Some years ago, I watched a game which was a typical derby between two South African teams and it caught my attention.
It was a game between the Stormers and the Cheetahs (the Cheetahs are currently not playing in the Super Rugby series anymore). At the time, the Stormers were in a much better position on the overall log for the series. The Cheetahs, on the other hand, had a bad season up to that point. Thus, the Stormers had much to lose, while the Cheetahs had nothing to lose going into this game.
The Cheetahs clearly went in and played their hearts out, just enjoying the game. What was the result of doing that? They came out victoriously.
The Stormers on the other hand was clearly under pressure and kept making unforced errors, resulting in penalties against them, costing them the game in the end.
I don't think I'll ever forget that game...lol!
I have often found the same principle at work in my own life too.
When I put pressure on myself or even allow external circumstances to add pressure, it’s almost as if I’m working against myself. Everything that can go wrong will go wrong.
Yet, when I relax and just get down to business and I do what I know needs to be done, I find ways to make it enjoyable.
Not only do I get it done better, but I normally end up completing the task faster too.
You Choose the World You Are Going To Live In.
Stress is no stranger in the world that we are living in today. And there is no shortage of information on the topics of stress and anger. Do some searches for "stress", "stress and anger", "stress stats", etc., and see what comes up...
But believe it or not, there is some good news too. You can choose not to fall victim to stress and anger.
Nobody said it’s going to be easy. But if you can determine the source of your stress and anger, the next step will be to make a quality decision, and you can overcome these conditions.
Even though anger is a huge problem in society today, we (often unknowingly) keep on promoting it.
Every sports star must be “aggressive” in his approach when participating.
Successful business people are known for being “aggressive” in their business, and they often develop quite intimidating personalities too. It is often the more "aggressive" people who take the lead in many situations by being intimidating. Many people try to make their stamp of authority today by being aggressive.
It is as if we think that the more aggressive we are, the stronger we are.
Yet, nothing can be further from the truth.
Real strong and firm leaders are often the calmer and even-tempered type of person. These are people who just demand respect seemingly without even trying. And they don't get intimidated by other people's aggression either.
Photo by Francois Olwage on Unsplash
With all this competition amongst people and the need for being the strongest, it is of little wonder that many people don’t realize the origin of their stress and anger.
Anger is often based on fear. For many people, it might be hard to come to grips with this idea, but anger is often in response to feeling threatened.
Whenever a person feels threatened of being harmed, either physically, emotionally, financially or in any other way, it can be a spontaneous reaction to respond with anger. It is an act of survival.
The highly competitive and fast-paced lifestyle which is at the order of the day today is a contributing factor to this problem.
Just think about this for a moment. How many times do you see people (it might even be you) who totally get beyond themselves when someone cuts in front of him on the freeway?
Yes, it’s rude. But is it worth having a heart attack over?
That person doesn’t even know that you are walking around, being "moody" and with a splitting headache for the rest of the day, while he just carries on with life like normal.
Take control of your own life by taking control of your own thoughts.
But, just one piece of advice, do not decide “not to get angry” for the day. For some reason, when you decide "not to get angry", as soon as you get out of bed in the morning, you hit your toe against the coffee table...and that’s normally the end of it...lol.
Learn to love yourself for whom and what you are. Decide to be calm and relaxed no matter what. Get settled and confident in your own identity. Realize that you are in control. When you develop confidence in your own identity, you would not feel threatened as quickly, and thus you would have much more control over your temper and your stress levels.
In other words...make peace with who you are and create a calm environment for yourself wherever you are. Do not allow other people and external factors (over which you don't have any control) to come into "your world" and turn it upside-down for you.
You have no control over those people and/or circumstances. What you do have control over, is your own thoughts and how you respond to various situations and other people.
Enjoy The Journey
Life is a journey. What you make of this journey is your choice...your decision. Nobody can live your life for you. So, the choice is yours!
Believe me, as you start making peace with yourself, and you calm down and become more even-tempered, you start drawing more people closer to you as well. It is just way more fun to be around a calm and relaxed person than to be with an aggressive intimidating person.
There is a well-known slogan that says...
If you want to change the world, start with yourself.
Whether you say "change the world" or "make the world a better place"...the idea remains the same. Start with yourself.
You can think of any successful person in the world...Bill Gates, Donald Trump, Elon Musk, Warren Buffet, Sylvester Stalone, Arnold Schwarzenegger...whether it is a business person, actor, musician, politician or whatever...whether you like them, love them, dislike them or even hate them, it doesn't matter.
One thing is for sure. They created the environment in which they live and they couldn't care two hoots what you or I will think about it.
They not only created that environment around themselves, but it also affects the space (world) around them wherever they go and they sincerely believe they are making the world a better place.
So what is your world like? Do you create your own space around you? Or do you just accept what is presented to you...whether you like it or not?
What do you do to make your world a better place? How do you fight stress and anger? They are very real enemies, and we would all love to hear from you.