Taking care of your self-esteem is taking care of your loves, it's taking care of your bonds. And vice versa!.
Self-love begins when you stop justifying the unjustifiable. No, it's not that you're "very sensitive." No, it's not that “you're exaggerating." When something doesn't work for you in a relationship, there's a reason.
Red flags are not paranoia, they are warnings that your intuition is seeing before you. But sometimes, the fear of losing someone makes us prefer to deceive ourselves, instead of facing the truth. The answer is not to keep ignoring what you feel, but to learn to trust your judgment. If you have to convince yourself that something is not so bad, it is already bad. Hahaha
Why? Because self-love is not about holding on, it's about knowing when to let go or run away from what doesn't suit you. A healthy love does not make you feel small, does not generate fear, does not fill you with doubts. And, no, it's not paranoia, it's responsibility to oneself, so, it's well-being.
Relationships are built on respect, coherence and actions that tell us about love, care, affection and commitment.
When the right flags appear, you can identify her with phrases like these: "He or she takes care of me,” that's excessive control; “It's because he or she loves me too much” is typical of the person who is sickly jealous; "It's because his or her character is strong,” he or she definitely disrespects you; “He or she will change” these are promises that he or she never keeps.
It is not right to accept and normalize those behaviors that often make us feel uncomfortable, that take away peace and even make us doubt our personal worth, it is horrible. In fact, when we try to justify or minimize those signals, without a doubt, they are confirmed red flags, which wear you down, annihilate you emotionally.
When two people love each other, accept each other as they are, but when one has behaviors that harm the other, and is not able to negotiate those behaviors or is not able to seek help to heal, then, definitely, that couple has no remedy, and the affected party has to leave, without consideration, without expecting miracles, without continuing to fall into self-deception with false beliefs such as: “he's going to change someday, but he doesn't know how” or “that's his way of loving me.” No, he will never do it, forget about those stories on the way.
For example: if two people love each other and one of them fails for anything.... The other should (if there is love) look for a way or a way to HELP HIM..Not to turn his back on you! We must support to the maximum! Not to abandon him or her. Because then it's NOT Love. There is no affection, no understanding towards your partner!.
Years ago, It happened to me with a boyfriend I had long before I married my current partner! It is ugly when someone you love, offers you, "zero contact", that is, he or she was not present when they needed it most.
As long as you think you deserve the least, you will attract just that. In fact, in terms of a partner, we attract what we think we deserve and the proof is that we stay next to that person.🙄
Here comes like a ring to the finger this ancient saying: "Tell me who you hang out with and I'll tell you what kind of self-esteem you have".
There is nothing called bad luck in relationships. Everyone stays with who they think they deserve to be with... will it be?
Janitze.🌷
Separator made with Canva by
Any images in this post are taken with my iPhone 12, the Infinix pro-note 30 or with the camera eighties Rolleiflex 2.8 f, and edited by me with Canva
Translation with |DeepL