"Today is the day I turned my life around." These words were echoing through my mind as I awoke this morning.
For the last 4 years, I have tended and healed the B&B I run with my partner as if it were my own, putting in long hours above and beyond the remuneration my small stipend pays me. We've given it our all. We've cared, cleaned, been committed and passionate. But it is over. The place is closed and due to be sold, my partner and I redundant and facing eviction despite our best efforts.
As my current way of life disappears before my eyes, as the threat of having 'everything' taken away looms - home, job, chickens, studio - what I really want becomes crystal clear like never before. But what am I going to do to achieve it, to REALise it?
Well, I have decided to make this the beginning of a new life, a new chapter, a new story - a story of personal redemption and power; of triumph over adversity; of healing, of trust, of grace.
Rufus at the door. I am committed to ensuring that he is cared for, even though he is feral
"Today is the day I turned my life around." I know now that I will look back and say that in years to come.
I hereby dedicate my life wholeheartedly to turning this ship around - to healing myself and supporting others in facilitating their healing, too. As cells in the body of humanity, our task is to help each other, to support each other, to work together towards ever-increasing levels health and life-serving behaviours. It's up to me to model this, to LIVE IT - to be ever more the change I want to see in the world.
Me with Drowsy, who fought my battles for me as a little girl. She's here beside me, smiling supportively, willing me to stand up for myself and those I love now
WE LIVE WHAT WE LEARN
A powerful message I received as a child, which seeped into my subconscious mind and which I hear myself perpetuating often, is, "Beggars can't be choosers." But I am NOT a beggar. I am a unique and dedicated creative entity, with a body of work which speaks for itself. I am a devoted mother and friend to my non-human companions. I'm more than willing to go the extra mile to help anyone who really needs it. I see where humanity is causing its own downfall and I passionately desire to contribute something of value, of worth, to its healing. I am playing a part in creating a new, life-serving Paradigm to replace the Old - that current mode of being and interacting with All That Is which serves only a tiny percentage of us well, whilst generating misery and lack for the rest of us.
The internal voice that tells me I am unworthy, unlovable and a failure is mistaken. I am loving, lovable and loved. Today is a new day and I am READY. No more scratching in the dirt - I'll leave that to my feathered friends. Today is the day I turn my life around. Today is the day I begin to truly live what I choose to learn and to teach, more fully and confidently than ever before.
TODAY IS THE DAY I TURNED MY LIFE AROUND
For the last 10 years, I have invested vast amounts of love, passion and energy into creating my portfolio and developing my art. When I wasn't mothering (unschooling), working, healing, or rescuing people and animals (and often whilst I was!), I have spent virtually every minute and every penny on my art. I have abandoned any notion of living a 'normal' life in the pursuit of becoming an independent creative. It's time to turn around, to open my heart to receive a return on that investment. An exchange of energy which will facilitate my work as an artist and a healer.
As my career builds, I will be RE-INVESTING in causes which are in alignment with my own core values - in ways of living which unite, which help create a New Paradigm with the betterment and evolution of Humanity at its heart. MY ULTIMATE GOAL is to create (or co-create) a SAFE PLACE where I can live in harmony with All That Is and offer solace and acceptance, joy and beauty to those who need its healing balm.
Detail from 'Brave and Strong and True'
In these troubled times, it falls to us all to be brave and strong and true. We can do this!
With love, Jay xxx