I think the whole idea of being stern or severe is subjective. Because what is being stern or severe? Is it when you’re tired of BS and you want to start standing up for yourself? Is it when you finally pick yourself and choose to prioritize yourself, your feelings and emotions? Is it when you finally decide to love yourself and no longer tolerate disrespect? What exactly is being stern or severe?
Over the years I’ve learnt to see things for what they are. See people most especially for who they are. I’m not a good person. I make mistakes and sometimes, even though it’s not borne out of maliciousness or spite or even deviousness, I find myself taking advantage of people and situations. No, I’m not a terrible person but I won’t excuse myself by saying that it’s part of human nature. It just happens sometimes and when I can, I try to rectify it.
We need to learn to properly distinguish what these things are. On whether you’re choosing yourself because you’re genuinely on the wrong side and you’re hurt and you want to start becoming stern so you’re no longer disrespected or you’re just being mean and trying to hurt someone else.
Because then you’re not being stern but a bad person. It’s okay to fight for what you think is okay for your peace of mind. It’s okay to finally remember your worth and the fact that you’re loved at home. What is not okay, is taking advantage of that to be a malicious person.
So, when is it okay to be stern and severe. It’s okay to be stern and severe from the beginning. Because if we’re judging from what being stern and severe means, I think it’s setting your boundaries right from the start. Letting the people around you, the people you’re entering into relationships with, your colleagues and business partners what your rules and deal breakers are.
Because imagine a scenario where you got a job as a female store manager and then your male co-worker gives you a kiss on the cheek on your first day of work, or relegates to addressing you with endearments instead of professionally. Soon enough, he starts barking out orders at you that are not in your job description, or proceeding to spank you on the bum while you’re heading to give your pitch at the board meeting.
Things like that would only come as a result of not knowing your worth or boundaries and neglecting to state them clearly from start. No, you will not be a bad person for stating them in the beginning. Yeah, they might hiss at you or say you’re doing too much or being prideful, but there will also be the grudging admiration and respect and of course, they would never cross the line and advise people who plan to do it not to.
All of these is what I think being stern or severe is, if I’m using the word right. Knowing who you are and standing for it in a way that is courteous, polite, firm and devoid of compromise. The start of compromise is the start of disrespect. When you give an inch, it’s only normal for people to see how many more inches they can push you to give and whether or not they can stretch it to a mile.
Your own severity or sternness should revolve around things that are devoid of unkindness or lack of courtesy. No, pushing that person rudely because you want to pass doesn’t make you a no-nonsense person but an impolite, unruly person that will definitely get what’s coming. Let’s all try to embrace firmness, self-love, self-worth, kindness and wisdom (which will always be profitable to direct). Wrote this as an inspiration from #januaryinleo. What are your thoughts on being stern?
Jhymi🖤
Images are mine.
