If you let them, they'll trample upon you, using your head as a doormat. They’ll wipe their feet on your dress and laugh hysterically while they do it. They’ll wash their dirty hands on your white linens and smirk devilishly while they do it. One thing I have realized about humans is that they treat you the way you present yourself. If you present yourself as a stern person who knows the importance of setting boundaries, they’ll respect you and treat you like a normal human being. On the other hand, if you present yourself as an innocent, naive, and vulnerable person, not only will they bully you, but they'll also make your life miserable, treating you like a piece of trash. Day 13 of the Inleo Prompts asks us when it is okay to be stern or severe.
When it comes to your relationship with humans, knowing your self-worth is very important. It is key to maintaining your value in their lives. Your self-worth is not defined by people’s opinions. Take their opinions, wrap them in a trash bag, and dump them in a refuse bin. Their negative opinions and actions about you are totally useless- they don’t define your self-worth. Define and measure your self-worth not only by what you have achieved but also by who you are. The fact that you are a human being means that you deserve “more than less.” As long as you are a human being like the rest of us, don’t settle for less. Don’t allow people to take you for granted simply because they are richer or in a higher position. You exist, and that is enough reason not to settle for less.
I always seize the slightest opportunity to talk about my mom in my blog posts. This topic provides another chance to do so. According to the Bible, “Blessed are the meek and humble for they shall inherit the kingdom of God.” This verse has been my mom’s mantra for as long as I can remember. My siblings and I, especially me, often tell her that if she is too meek and humble, people will treat you with disrespect. They will take you for granted. I have witnessed several occasions where people treated my mom with disrespect just because she was humble. When these scenarios happen, I always say this to my mom, “If you get angry for once, they’ll fear you and stop taking you for granted.” Her reply was always, “These things do not matter. I have not given them enough chances.”
On the other hand, my mom has received compliments from people for being the kind of person she is- meek and humble. “This woman is very nice and humble. She is a good person.” Being meek and humble is like a coin. On one side, people tend to take you for granted, on the other hand, they say good things about you. Some years back, my mom told me and my siblings something that happened with one of her colleagues in her workplace.
Apparently, my mom and this colleague are agemates and used to be classmates during her nursing school days. They even attended the same midwifery (I'm not sure this is the right term she used.) As fate would have it, they got jobs as nurses in the same hospital. They started their careers at the same time and were climbing through the ladders of positions. Unfortunately, my mom missed a promotion exam, while the other person took it and passed. My mom became an assistant director while the other person became an Assistant Director of the Word while her colleague became the Director.
Her colleague brushed away the fact that my mom and she attended the same nursing school. Instead of treating her like a friend, she started behaving like a boss, talking rudely and condemning whatever my mom did. Whenever my mom came home to tell us stories about her colleague, I'd always tell my mom to yell back at her. But as usual, she replied with “I have not given her enough chances.” When my mom had had enough, she gave it to her when she least expected it. She paid her back in her coin.
That day, one of the junior colleagues in the ward made a mistake, and instead of rebuking the one who made the mistake, my mom’s colleague yelled at my mom for not overseeing the whole process (my mom was in another ward at that time.) My mom yelled back at her and slapped her with words. The look on her face expressed disbelief. She didn't see it coming. In the end, other nurses reported my mom’s colleague to higher bosses and she was transferred to another word.
Now, to answer the question; it is okay to be stern in situations where clear boundaries need to be established.
Thanks for reading.