Recently, I had a conversation with someone about past crushes and lovers. A crush is a feeling of infatuation for someone. Unlike love, it usually lasts for a short time and is not that deep. There are big differences between love and a crush. For example, I once had a crush on someone and it only lasted for a few days. After a few days, the feeling of infatuation disappeared as it was never there. I'd been seeing the person from afar, but when I got closer and got to know her, I realized she was not as cool, thoughtful, and easygoing as I pictured her to be. Somehow, the feeling of infatuation I had the first time I saw her, disappeared. On the other hand, I believe it is impossible to stop loving someone you once loved just after a few days. Even when they hurt you terribly. Well, that's how it works for me. When I love someone, it takes a lot to stop loving them.
Another big difference between love and a crush is that while it is impossible (for me) to love more than one person (more than one girl) at a time, it is possible to crush on more than one person at a time. People who secretly have more than 2 partners and claim they love one of them are liars. If you love your partner, you won’t be able to put yourself to love another person. This means that not only are you deceiving yourself, but you are also deceiving your partners. Crush, on the other hand, is mild and entirely different. I've been in a situation where I was crushing on more than 2 people at the same time, simply because they possessed the qualities I liked.
One thing about me is that I always have impossible crushes - people way above my league. Of course, I have also had a few realistic crushes, but most of my experiences are the juicy and impossible ones. I remember one time when I had a crush on my high school student teacher. She wasn't my regular teacher - she was a university student doing her teaching practice at our high school. Student teachers are university students who come to high schools to gain teaching experience. She was in her final year of university, while I was in my first year of senior high school. She was obviously older than me, but that didn't matter. I overlooked that part and let my imagination run wild. There were many things about her that caught my attention. She was a beautiful dark-skinned lady. Her skin always looked healthy and shiny. She was of average height, and her smile was really cute. Her teeth were white and sparkly, and she always smelled nice.
She taught us Civic Education. Two student teachers were taking us on that subject. And every time, I'd always pray for her to come. Whenever the second teacher came, I’d frown, hiss, sit back, and forcefully listen. However, when it was her turn, I made sure I stayed away from my friends to prevent distractions. I didn't want to sit at the front so she wouldn't catch my stares, so I often sat in the middle roll, paying full attention, not to her teachings, but to her. I dared not tell my friends about it, because I knew they'd roll on the ground and laugh their lungs out. So, I kept my little infatuation to myself.
The first time she talked to me felt heavenly! It was as if all my wishes had come through. That day, I took a walk to the school’s library to get a new pen. As soon as I stepped in, I saw her and my heart skipped a beat. I couldn't go back because the librarian had already seen me. So, I stepped forward, slowly. After getting the pen and was about to turn back, I heard a voice say “Where are you from?” I knew it was her. I could recognize her voice with my eyes closed. So, I turned back, moved closer, and answered her. She stared at me and said, “Wow! Your lashes are so long.” Apparently, we are from the same place. After that day, we never talked. I just kept admiring her from afar until she completed her program and left.
Here’s my entry to the inleo prompt for day 14. The topic is; tell us about your impossible love and crushes.