This is one of those epic songs that captured a turning point in my life. I wrote it on my birthday twelve years ago, during a time when I was living on the beach in Baja, Mexico, outside of Todos Santos, doing a month-long yoga teacher training. I slept in a tent to the sound of the ocean.
I haven't played it for a long while, but figured I'd bring it out, dust it off, and record it. In a way, this song is something of a lullaby, sweet and peaceful. That one summer, when I wrote this, I played this song over, and over, and over again, walking on the sand by the sea.
I did actually get down on my knees in the middle of a dirt road to scrawl in my notebook when the lyrics were downloading themselves. It was an all-consuming creation. I even ditched yoga class. ;)
This is about unconditional love—about a love that is free, without expectation—and about self-transformation.
Surrender to the Fire
Why do I want, need, yearn? If I am to learn
I’m going to have to let go. Oh…
In the vastness of my mind, I try not to think and find
But there’s so much I want to know.
In the ocean of your eyes
There’s no need, and no lies
No kiss, no wish, just bliss
And I don’t have much experience with this
I’m bigger than this body, greater than this confusion
And in my mind I see past these illusions
But as these feelings rise I look away from your eyes
Torn between silence and too many whys.
In the brightness of your smile
There’s no space for secrets of denial
I’m trying to touch without lust
Deeper into the depths of trust
If I am to truly care for you I must share you
It’s new to be separate and still there with you
With this song escaping from my mind and heart
The moment fades away and I don’t know where to start
In the warmth of your light
I find myself trying to fight
The patterns I’ve followed all these years
Pushing myself through fears
It’s hard to let go of the feeling of uniqueness
I’ve held on so long that I feel like I need this
Mind spinning so fast I can’t do what you ask
Waves crashing in my heart as I ignore my task
Bring it back, bring it back, bring it back
Before I wander too far off track
On my knees in the middle of the road
Shedding words to lighten my load
I don’t have to look around for you I’ve already found you
You’re this love in my heart—I’m surrounded by you
Between moments of despair and elation
I resonate with this vibration
In the ocean of your eyes
I am stripped of my disguise
Through the pull and push in my chest
I’m inspired to do my best
It all comes down to unconditional love
Blending truths and inspirations from above
Beyond this nagging insecurity
Is the strength of honesty and purity
Devotion without obsession
I can cherish you without expectation
Service without selfish motivation
Compassion bringing blessed elevation
I am moved by your focused attention
Love without attachment or possession
And as I find myself moving higher
I surrender to the fire
Original songwriting by Katrina Ariel
“I would offer you my pulse, I would give you my breath.” — Ani DiFranco
Listen on Choon
Would you believe this is the edited version, minus a few verses? Epic song. The epicest.
And the last part, the "I would offer you my pulse," bit? That's from an Ani DiFranco song. Makes me melt every single time.
Thanks for listening!
Whatever happens, keep singing your song!
Photos mine unless otherwise credited.
Author bio: Katrina Ariel is an old-soul rebel, musician, tree-hugging yogini, and mama bear to twins. Author of Yoga for Dragon Riders (non-fiction) and Wild Horse Heart (romance), she's another free-spirit swimming in the ocean of Steem.
dragon art: Liiga Smilshkalne
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