“When people pressure you to engage in negative decisions and actions, look at them boldly in the eyes and dare them to do good.”
— Edmond Mbiaka —
I have had a handful of toxic people in my life, and I assume at least 9 out of 10 persons has had an encounter with someone toxic at least once in a lifetime. Looking at it from the general perspective, it is only natural to ask WHAT DO THIS PEOPLE REALLY WANT?
I don't think there's an answer to this question; even if there is I haven't found it yet. When I begin to look at the actions of certain people, I'm so much perplexed on the fact that someone would suddenly grow hate for another person for no just cause. It's absurd when I think about it, I mean you just want someone to fail or get hurt just to satisfy your desire with no guilt or thought about how that person feels. How does someone pain even pleases another? I guess there are alot of rhetorical questions here, and this is because I find it really absurd.
Leaving in a country like Nigeria, I will say it's the country I have been to with too many toxic mindset. (I've been privileged to visit a few) most especially in the city of Lagos were there is a normal slang in pidgin English nobody send your papa which I believe comes from another toxic mindset. Imagine entering a bus, and the bus conducted would purposefully refuse to give you change unless you shout to the point of getting into a fight.
But somehow I really wonder why these things do not affect me. Like I said I have been with a handful of toxic people but then I have never had issues with any of them. I remember back in school I leaved with a toxic roommate who would always steal from me, instead of fighting him (honestly I wonder why I was never angry about it) I just looked for ways to protect my stuffs. At one point he borrowed one of my phones and ended up selling it and even had the audacity to tell me he sold my phone that I borrowed him for a day. I can't still understand why I never got angry about it, but then I just let it go, not because I didn't value my property, or I was scared of him, I just felt I was bigger than that. (I mean the whole issue)
I hate it when things get to me, but seeing how toxic people easily get on the nerves of others easily I wonder why they don't really affect me. Perhaps It's because I hate keeping negativity in my heart, I had always hated it from childhood. I was even discussing on this issue with my mum some days back when she mentioned I'm one of the few persons she knows hardly get angry over anything. It's funny how since I was born I have only been known to get angry about 3 to 4 times, and in all those times, my anger wasn't really in the action the person took, but rather in their motives for what they planned on accomplishing.
Not that I'm perfect or a saint, getting angry ain't just my thing, although toxic people could really hurt me, they have infact hurt me both physically and emotionally. One even punched me in the face one time for absolutely nothing. I just met him in a bad mood and took a punch for it. I was really hurt emotionally by what he did, but never angry for any reason.
So then I ask myself how do people really get angry. I heard a friend say, some choose to be angry, I don't know how true that is, but if you can relate with this feel free to drop a contribution in the comments section.