Narrated by: Kwanjinn Quiroz [My wife]
Written by:
16 weeks in which my little baby was formed in absolute silence, without making any movement that I could notice. Waiting for the right moment to fill me with doubts with the first notorious movement for me.
16 weeks I fed it without knowing it, that gave it life without even imagining it.
His heart began to form approximately from week 5 and started beating from week 6, maybe it was beating at the same pace as mine and I still did not know it.
Without imagining that my menstruation was a danger for me baby. I was excited every time it came because it was a reminder that I was not pregnant, or so I thought. In my plans I was not a mother at 23, I thought my first baby would have it at 32.
He was only a baby of 16 weeks, with his crossed legs and a little heart that beat very fast.
I was surprised, very very surprised the truth. See that little thing so little, see their movements, that made my heart a thousand. I could not help but cry, I cried because I did not know I was there, 16 weeks I did not speak to him, 16 weeks I did not give him love, 16 weeks I did not see how it grew, as it developed month after month, I cried for imagining it alone for 16 weeks.
Yes, I said alone. I saw that he was a boy a few minutes before the doctor, my little baby changed position and we clearly saw that he was male. I saw her little feet, her little hands, her spine, her heart. That little little heart that enlarged mine instantaneously. Many people say that love at first sight does not exist, because I do. I believe in him from the moment I saw my baby. That day changed my life completely. That was the moment that marked the before and the after.
The doctor told me it was a high-risk pregnancy, that my baby was clinging to life because what I thought were my periods was the bleeding every time the placenta came off a little more, the recommendation was to have absolute rest so as not to lose my little one.
My sister was happy for the news of having a nephew, my mom was worried because I had told her about the situation that she was afraid of being sick but when I told her that I would be a grandmother she literally bounced off the emotion, all that remained was to tell my dad my partner. I was afraid to tell my dad because he is very conservative, and besides being the youngest of his daughters for mom and dad I am the smallest of the house, very surprised I was already of my mom's reaction, so I thought that my Dad would give me the sermon of my life. I was thinking all day how I would tell him, he came home around 7 pm. Until that time I still did not know how to tell him, so when I saw him, I just smiled at him and said: Congratulations, you'll be Grandpa. It was a boost. Then I remembered that he is very old and could give him a heart attack because it took me about 15 seconds to react but to my surprise he hugged me and said: Mamita, welcome, what happiness.
For my family it was no surprise, as they told me time later they were just waiting for the news since I was 3 years old with my partner.
But there was a small detail, with the surprise I had in my belly, the fright of telling my parents forget to think about how I would tell my partner, in our plans was not to be parents, we were both very clear that a baby in that moment was difficult because the situation in our country was wrong, in addition to that we had touched the issue before and it was a resounding NOT to have a baby. 3 years of couple that had been a rollercoaster of emotions, for no one is a secret that couples have good times and bad moments. That right moment was not so good.
A year before I decided to go live with him to another state, exactly 12 hours from my old home, a new beginning for both. We had a small business that was going very well, but with the passing of time and the country situation from bad to worse only lasted 1 year, I decided to go back to my parents' house because in all that time I did not adapt to the place, I felt alone I missed my family very much and the closing of our business pushed me to go back with them. I returned home, I had a long distance relationship that was a bad idea because I missed it too much, talking on the phone every day or messengers was not the same.
12 hours, many kilometers away and I could not tell you on the phone, I did not know how it would take to know that I was going to be a father, I knew that man would never fail me but we had not seen each other for a month, our relationship was not the same And sincerely I was afraid that for the first time I would fail, leave me alone with my baby.
It had been 7 days, if perhaps it seems unfair to you to let 7 days pass to tell you that it would be a father, to my family it also seemed unfair.
Take courage and call it at 2 pm, different situations were going through my head.
.....A tone.....
..........Two tones ..........
........Three tones........
He did not answer the call and my nerves were increasing.
Wait until 7 pm and try to call again, finally answered:
Kwanjinn: Hello my life how are you? How is your day? - My nerves a thousand.
Eduardo: Very good and yours? How are you?
Kwanjinn: Well, here with a lot of desire to tell you something but you did not answer the call this afternoon.
Eduardo: I saw the call but it was full and I was going to call you after dinner. Tell me.
Kwanjinn: I was feeling a little bad and I went to the doctor. I had discomfort in my belly.
Eduardo: Ok, and now how do you feel? All good?
I could hardly talk, I was already there to tell him, but my nerves made my heart beat. I stayed quiet for 10 seconds.
Eduardo: All right? What's wrong?
Kwanjinn: I'm pregnant.
Silence, mentally I counted 28 seconds of silence, I checked and the call was still in progress.
Kwanjinn: You heard?
Eduardo: Is it serious?
Kwanjinn: Yes, I am 17 weeks old and male.
Eduardo: Seriously?
Kanjinn: Yes.
Eduardo: God, you're pregnant. You are not playing right?
From his tone of voice he knew he was surprised and even assimilating what he had just said. Now it was my turn to reveal that he had a week hiding it.
Kwanjinn: No, I'm as surprised as your hahaha I have 17 weeks and I have not had any symptoms.
Eduardo: 17 weeks or 17 days?
Kwanjinn: 17 weeks, that is 4 months and 1 week. Remember I told you that the period came? Well, the placenta is very low and it is a risky pregnancy, but the baby is very well, it is very big, I must have absolute rest because I could lose it.
Kwanjinn: It's hidden, I did not know it was there until last Monday that I went to the doctor.
Eduardo: You know since last week?
Kwanjinn: Yes but I did not know how to tell you.
Eduardo: If you're stupid.
Kwanjinn: And what do you think?
Eduardo: Well, it looks like I'm going to be dad and you're mom, and it also seems like it will be soon, hahaha. And how are you going to tell your family?
Kwanjinn: You know since last Monday, everyone is happy. Only you were missing, and obviously your family.
Eduardo: I'm also the last to know hahaha well I have to think when I'll tell my mom, give me time.
Kwanjinn: Quiet when you want, just do not wait until he drinks this to be born hahaha I'll hang you to send you the pictures of our baby.
Eduardo: Do you have pictures? - I could hear the emotion in his voice.
Kwanjinn: Yes, I already sent them to you, I'm going to hang up, I love you.
Eduardo: I love you too, you and our baby. Take care a lot and please do not do anything, do not move.
17 weeks my baby growing inside me, 1 week loving him like I had not loved someone, and only minutes of knowing that I was not alone, that this man who was many kilometers away from us was not going to fail us, I loved without knowing that this little man grew up in me, and now that I told him that he would be a father, he loved us both.
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