Greetings everyone! 🙌
In response to this article,
"Gender in Family - How do gender roles, male and female - differ in your family?"
I grew up in a very typical Nigerian home with traditional and simple parents, where male and female duties were clearly defined; the girls for the kitchen and house duties while the boys for farm only. It's a culture in a typical home (as of then, maybe till now) and we played along with it untill a time came...
The first child of my parents is a girl, followed by me, and then a boy. That's 1 girl and 2 boys(before others came in).
All the house chores were usually assigned to the girl, while my brother and I always accompanied my dad to the farm. We didn't bother to assist with household chores.
When my dad noticed how much the workload burdened the only girl and my mom, he implemented a new rule in the house: the guys had to help with some kitchen duties, like washing dishes and sieving grinded and dried cassava during the processing.
Let me make it clear;
One of the most exhausting tasks for the ladies was cassava processing, which happened almost every four days. This task consumed a lot of their time because it involved multiple processes. So, my dad mandated that while the girl or mom tended to the frying at the fireside, my brother and I should help with filtering the cassava, which was the next step before frying.
To be honest, we didn't like it because it was time-consuming. It couldn't be done all at once; it had to be done bit by bit as they finished each batch, and then they would call us to process another. Nevertheless, whenever we tried to dodge our responsibilities, my dad would make sure to restore us to factory setting with a special cane.
We became accustomed to our duties, and it became second nature to us. We learned how to cook at an early age because, often, when Mom and the girl were occupied, we couldn't expect them to stop working to prepare food. So, we learned to help by adding ingredients to meals.
As more siblings came, three girls in a row, my brother and I were already grown, and it was assumed that we wouldn't enter the kitchen for such tasks. The usual standards were reinstated, with girls handling kitchen duties while boys worked on the farm, reflecting the societal norm where men are expected to earn money while women manage the household and cook.
However, as the time when the younger siblings were growing older and improving their cooking skills, I occasionally stepped into the kitchen to cook, to show them that I could still do it. Meanwhile, I did that each time their food came out very bad.
Till today, whenever I visit home and staying for long, I still enter kitchen to prepare food for the day for the whole family.
I won't lie, that culture is still very intact home, the siblings, niece nephews, cousins at home are still operating on that platform but all of them know how to cook(including the boys) because sometimes, feeding is based on your strength to enter kitchen to prepare food for yourself.
Thanks for reading.
| All images are mine |