As I stepped up to the plane's ladder on our way to Manila, my mind was empty. It feels like my head was filled of the air and I never liked to do everything. But then, for the sake of my questions, I need to move to get the answers. Living with uncertainty can really makes our lives miserable because we don't know what future that awaits us, is it bad or good?
Around 6 am, my sister and I arrived to the hotel we booked online. We travelled from Butuan for two hours. The pavements were quiet. Street people laid their cardboards along the streets with their children. When we entered to the entrance of the hotel, the security personal took our belongings to the lobby and welcomed us in humility. The front desk was friendly and talkative. I was speechless because it feels so nasty to speak Tagalog as well as my younger sister who will fly in the US this October, but it was necessary that one of us speaks so she did it since she is the one that booked the hotel. I laughed crypticly to my sister who sounded hilarious in her Bisayan accent. The front desk told us that maybe we should wait for 6 hours before we check in the room.
I thought I can't struggle to stay in the lobby for six hours, so we went outside to explore more convenient stores in M.H Del Pilar and familiarize the streets. We spent 3 hours in wandering the streets and then we ate a good taco from Yellow Cab. My sister bought a pepperoni pizza from this restaurant. She said that it is the best pizza she ever tasted. I was excited to eat it but I did not appreciate the taste. Maybe because I am not a pizza lover and my only like a little bit is the Hawaiian pizza. She laughed so hard at me. I only ate the taco with a thick dough. At first, the taste was okay, but the bottom part of it became salty. The best taco I've ever tasted is in Butuan city with fresh veggies and cheeze. So, while mt sister enjoyed her pizza, I enjoyed my taco. And then later, we went back to the hotel.
The hotel was great with friendly people, safe place, clean, accessible to department stores, hospitals, churches, US Embassy, and malls. As we stayed, I was still anxious. I never liked to appreciate every great things I saw bevause I was problematic with my health. I said that I'll only be relieved if I will find the best answer and then I talked to God that I know He will not pull me to a thing that I don't like.
When Friday came, I underwent EMG-NCV tests. This tests monitor our muscles and nerves. If the results are not great, it is abnormal means I really have a disease. Before my test, I was very nervous but then became alleviated when I remember acceptance. So, I underwent a calm test. When it was done, the neuro said everything is normal. The muscles and nerves move normally. Then I was happy. Now, the hope is back. My plans will be continued. Last year, I supposed to study again many expertises but I was depressed and hopeless. I said that even if I will study again, time stops my hopes and dreams because I have a disease, I only have a few years to live. But since I knew that everything is normal, it gives me a reason to be happy everyday. The hopes are back, not desperate anymore, and I am sure with my life.
Disclaimer: The content and illustration are original.
Camera used: iphone7+
Photographer: Clare Blackburn
Taken: 2018
Location: USA
