Circus hurts. It's painful, it bruises, burns and doesn't say sorry. At the same time- it is creative, soul fulfilling, gravity defying, so much FUN and a continuous journey of putting yourselves in situations and wondering how to get out of it.
Kind of like life.
Or...
Exactly like life.
Performing and teaching circus has taught me so much about life and how to show up for myself and navigate the world with grace and a smile. How to stay truly in the moment and to trust myself.
In circus- if you're doing a complicated wrap (that if you mess up- you either get crazy tangled or plummet to the ground) you have to-
Breathe, slow down your thoughts and stay extremely present.
Now imagine...Regular life
You're in a complicated situation, something is frustrating you...or you're not sure about something, someone is being an ass or not listening or getting angry with you. What do you do?
Breathe, slow down your thoughts and stay extremely present?
Chances are you know you're supposed to do that BUT instead...
FIGHT OR FLIGHT response!!!!! Fear, anger, tears, defensiveness, intense laughter. We all know it can get real messy real fast. The thing is- these situations don't mean you fall to your death the way you would in circus. They seem to have lower stakes. But the mental stress, anxiety and pure exhaustion that comes from living in this place of chaos can really take a toll. Not a fun way to live.
Circus is a constant practice of undoing that quick, and often unhelpful response. Any of that emotional, anxiety, adrenaline related response doesn't help you in the air. Of course this doesn't just happen one day...students learn this slowly as they go. Each new trick, each time they climb higher and every time they succeed at something new they trust in their strength, practice awareness and gain confidence in their ability to navigate new territory. Working at a professional level- even when something is new and scary (I am not immune to fear) I practice-
Breathe, slow down your thoughts and stay extremely present
This isn't new knowledge, the practice of mindfulness, but it is the way that has made the most sense to me and I feel on a visceral level. Practicing mindfulness in movement and in the case of circus, high stakes.
I didn't know how much circus would feed into how I live my life. I'm a pretty social, easy going gal- but in situations of conflict I would normally just cry and hide. By practicing the art of circus I have trained my body and mind to be strong, to be present and to always come back to my breath. I didn't consciously realize this was happening but over the years I've felt the difference when I audition for acting roles, when I'm dealing with family or run into anything in my day I wasn't expecting like the car not starting or the cat barfing somewhere. The work of circus and life shows up to save me from a melt down or freak out.
Life truly is a circus... but also circus is life.
I'd love to hear how you STEEMIANS practice presence at your different jobs or handle fight or flight response- let me know! And hey- you should find a circus school near you and try it. Learning how to lift your body in the air is such an amazing feeling. You don't need any experience to try and it's way more fun than the gym ;)
PS: All of these photos are stills from an aerial short film I did that played at CANNES (when I was a brunette! lol) You can check it out on Vimeo: