Rulov proudly holding me
The telephone rang that Sunday night seven years ago; Rulov's long-time friend sounded frantic - 'Rulov's lying on the floor, stiff like a tree stump, his legs and hands bound behind his back, kitchen towels stuffed into his mouth.' Those were his words.
It felt as if someone had hit me over the head; surely he should call the ambulance and not me!
But of course it was too late by then. I did not want to hear the bit about his body being stiff, that's not our darling Rulov, he's always so full of life, his friend must be mistaken.
But then the police officer came on the line, our beautiful and gentle Rulov had been dead for hours already.
We called our son who lived about half an hour away; by the time he got there the newspaper reporters were there already, Dean asked them to leave and show some respect!
We later learnt that he had two visitors the night before, they had signed the visitors register and left about 30 minutes later, cold-heartedly eating Pizza he had ordered! They were seen leaving with a large black refuse bag that we learnt contained his laptop, cellphone, camera, his personal telephone book and even a copy of his last testament & will! Anything that contained data was stolen, but why the will?
Rulov always was very particular about his wishes the day he dies, his flat had to be locked up by his friend and the keys only given to my husband and I to pack up his belongings when we got there.
Sadly that could not happen, I remember the black fingerprint dust left by forensics was everywhere. His beautiful flat was no longer a sacred haven!
The detective assured me that an arrest would be imminent as they had fingerprints, video footage of the killers as they entered and exited the building as well as a signature.
No arrests took place then, in fact we're still waiting seven years later!
I do not want to draw this out as it's too painful, but Rulov became front page news - he was the seventh or eighth victim of a series of gay murders in Gauteng around 2010-2011, all of them bound and strangled and all had similar items taken. Another commonality was that they befriended guys in chat-rooms.
I know that some will point fingers, but when you're an ageing lonely man in a society where many still cannot accept that being gay is not a choice - I mean who in their right mind would choose a life of finger-pointing and sniggering behind their backs - loneliness could also lead you as a straight person to chat-rooms as it kind of feels safe sitting at home behind locked doors not so!
But when you start trusting that person and allow this total stranger into your home, that's when it can become fatal as it did in Rulov's case.
A newspaper reporter did his own investigations and found that Rulov had known about the other murders and was also fishing online, something I believe as he told my husband that he was working on something but did not want to discuss it. He obviously trusted the wrong person as well!
He was highly anxious in the weeks prior to his murder, used to call me every night without fail and ask me earnestly not to forget to tell the family that he loves them. I was puzzled as this neurotic person was not the Rulov I knew; I assured him that nothing would happen to him, but of course I did not know what had been happening.
I had tried calling him numerous times that Sunday as I spoke to him the morning before and he had not called me again, most unlike him.
The police learnt from one of his work colleagues that he had been getting disturbing telephone calls and that money was being extorted from him.
When nothing came of the police investigation, we turned to private investigators out of desperation, supposedly the best in the country.
A LGBT organisation also assisted with payment as there was a definite link and a syndicate involved in all those murders during that period!
We even approached the Minister of Police via our politicians, to no avail!
The private detectives said the police were sensitive about them meddling and also laughed at them for investigating gay murders!
I can go on and on about the investigation, but in the end nothing came of that!
So this beautiful man who meant so much to many, and who made such a positive impact on society, had his life snuffed out and the killers are still free! I do not believe we will ever find closure.
At the memorial service held at the Joburg Theatre where he worked as Wardrobe Manager, what surfaced time & time again, was his immense kindness and constant caring.
Rulov managed to get a ‘full-house’ in the 250 seater theatre one last time with many famous faces bidding him a sad farewell.
Rehearsing for the ballet Sleeping Beauty - Puss in Boots
A long time friend and neighbour summed him up perfectly when she told how she met him in the elevator after the loss of her mother. He had invited her into his flat, made her a cup of tea and spoke to her in the most kind and gentle manner. She told her son that evening that she thinks she met an angel that day!
He has left a legacy that will live on in all the hearts of those who knew him.
A poem written by a friend of Rulov's - Lisanne Frewin
You can read My very special angel - part 1, here.
This is a continuation of my memories as initiated by 
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