What can you say to a friend who is across the world and whose's partner has met with a tragic accident? An unexpected, violent accident which lead to a life and death situation. A horrible scenario where there are already two casualties, a dozen of people injured and two other victims that no one knows if they will make it or not. As if all these bad news were not enough, the whole scenario took place in a foreign country, during a business trip.
What could you possible say to make that person feel better? None of your words could change the facts that his lifetime partner fights for his life in that very second! Is there anything you could add to take away some of the suffering, pain, anxiety, fear or shock that this poor soul is going through?
None of your mumblings could ever reassure her that his condition will improve. Facing the facts is not an easy thing to do when your ears hear poor prognosis of survival. Note that I did not say recovery! For the moment that is a luxury! We're talking about being on survival mode. Like in the movies: brain surgery, craniectomy, internal bleeding, comatose, high risk of heart failure and so on... A real episode of Grey's Anatomy.
What could you mention to that someone knowing that their spouse's life hangs by a thread? To be strong? To never loose faith? To rest assured that he will make it? That he will travel back to his country of origin on his own feet? As much as you would like to do something for her, you have to leave it to God.
All that you have left at your disposal are prayers. Nothing else. You can pray for his life. You can pray like you haven't done it in years. You can have that long postponed conversation with Him. You can lit a candle and pray for second chances or guidance. You can meditate and send positive vibes, trying to chase away that annoying feeling of being powerless.
You don't even dare to think what could be the worse scenario in this case, because the worse is actually playing right now. Never ever in your scariest nightmares, you thought that this could happen to one of your friends or relatives.
It's a reminder of how fragile life is. In moments like these, there's a certain clarity that you never experienced before. It feels as if someone lifted up a veil from your eyes or that you suddenly awoke to a new perspective.
Everything happens so fast that you can't even imagine what is really going on. Looking back at the past 12 hours, you see a carousel of emotions that you try to keep under control. You tell yourself that the whole story can not end here. Hope is your last resort! You hope he will make it through the night.
You feel the burden of each single minute and try to make sense of all this, but you can't. You just can't picture that he is still alive only because he is plugged to those machines. No one you've ever known has ended up hooked to a life support machine. This ain't right! You wish it wasn't real. You wish it was a bad dream. Thought reality is far more cruel.
When you finally made up your mind of what you are going to say to your friend, after having sent all this time hundreds of text messages to those close to her, you learn that she is on her way towards his hospital. You are reassured by everyone in her family that she is okay, that she "handles it okay". What they all fail to see is that she is still in shock and she is on automatic pilot.
How can she be "okay" when the love of her life is in a coma? Yes, both of them have always been fighters, but you have only one heart, one life! No one is "okay" in such circumstances!
Being the one who decides if to pull the plug or not doesn't make you feel "okay". Is crushing you down. It cripples you for life. It's beyond repair. How can you live with yourself knowing you were the one who took away his last breath? It haunts you until the rest of your days.
By now 24 hours passed and they said these were the most critical. His condition did not improve. More hours pass by and each time your phone beeps, you feel your heart skipping a beat. You hope for good news. You'll give anything to be able to change the outcome of this story.
It has to have a better ending!!!