A yoruba adage says...moja mosa ni a n mo akinkanjakinkanju" meaninng a true warrior knows when to fight and when to retreat, though most people think is cowards that run, but there times that the best and strongest thing you can ever do is to walk away. We've learned so many things, and one thing we weren't really taught is that, not every fight is to be fought, not every fight is worth bleeding for. We keep learning everyday, so avoiding a situation doesn’t always mean weakness, sometimes that's how you win.
There was a time I thought silence was a defea, then I always wanted to speak, to defend, to argue, to explain, to prove a point and all. Unfortunately, I learned the hard way, peace actually is not in being right but in being free. On particular evening, I visited some friends of mine and upon walking in, I could feel the tension in the air, it was obvious something odd was going on, they were talking bad about me, I overheard it, which is not true, what happened was not known to any of them, they only heard rumors, even though they were smiling at me, I know its just for show, well I wanted to stay and say it to their face and prove my innocence, but something in me just asked me leave, which I did and till today, I still appreciate myself for that.
It is not fear to avoid certain situation. It just means you are knowledgeable enough to know the battle that will drain you and the one that will shape and free you. It applies to a whole of things, there are arguments not worth your words, there are certain friends that do not worth your loyalty, and there are certain relationships you don't hold to dear and also, there are even some places you shouldn't be, its not pride.
Also, there are times that the loudest and heaviest response you could give to someone nor a situation is silence, there was a time like that I avoided a gathering of friends, during their discussion they never mentioned my name, but I know I was the one, they were taking about a friend of theirs who does motivational speaking, inspire others and ever referred to the person as a WhatsApp philosopher, they added that I won't last, and hearing that, I almost speak up to prove them wrong, but I have a rethink and thought it better not to. I went back home to make some delicious food myself while listening to a hiphop song.
Even if you don't want to learn, this country Nigeria will still go ahead to teach you, you are taught to manage abusive relationships, toxic friends and all. A bible passage says...wisdom is profitable to direct, yes wisdom is needed, it helps to know when to be there and when not to, when to talk and when to shush your lips. The more you talk the more angrier you become at times, and with that one can do and undo, the days we are in now, one should be careful of sprouting up to act or talk, people tend to hold your words and if you decide to go the fist way, also remember that one blow or slap can lead to an obituary, so jist swallow your pride. Its not fear, its choosing peace NAD courage over your ego.
Also, we should learn to listen to our heart, some situations are traps wrapped with smiles and sweet voices, but you hear your heart speaking, don't be carried away, calm to listen as it tells you to not go, to keep your silence. God gave us discernment so we could be able to survive and navigate this world we are in.
Now, when is it good to avoid a situation? What a deep question, for me, after much thought, you avoid a situation when your peace, dignity, life, growth and the likes is at risk, just walk away, avoid such a situation. Learn to say no as simple as possible.
Avoiding a situation means you've counted the cost and after weighing the consequences you choos peace. So don't be to carried away in this world where everyone is shouting, fighting and trying to prove a point.
all pictures are mine.
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