Compassionate acts has always showed up in various ways, both big and small, whether it's a neighbor rushing over with food and drugs when you are unwell or some strangers rallying around you in times of need. Growing up, I saw it every day in the market stalls, even my mum who's a petty trader lent goods on credit to struggling mothers, trusting they would pay back when they could. Compassion, to me, is not an act, but it is a lifestyle, a bond, a part of me.
My first encounter with compassion was in a hospital , and it remains ever fresh in my mind. It was a sunny afternoon in Ilorin, the kind of sun that makes you question why you left home. I had fallen ill, and the hospital was just too busy, despite the chaos, in pain, but I was still observing everything going on around, a nurse who had been on her feet for hours noticed my mother’s worried face, and without hesitation, led us to a chair and assured them that I will be fine. The way she talked so fast, yet calming marvelled me, even I felt some sense of ....you know, the nurse didn’t just offer care, she was so cool, making the hospital feel like a home. It wasn’t part of her job description to calm a nervous family anyways, but she did it.
During a visit to a town in Lagos state, Nigeria, I witnessed a neighbor’s child who broke his arm while climbing a tree. Before the family knew or even process what had happened, a group of women, about four from the community gathered, one offered transport to the clinic in her car, one offered some money in case the hospital asked for some kind of deposit, the other offered to leave her stall and follow to the hospital and the last woman went quickly to inform the boys parent of his condition. It was an unspoken understandingzl, today it’s someone's child, tomorrow it could be theirs.
I found myself experiencing this again, that was about 3 years ago, I was in the hospital, then again, I found out that you would go through some stuffs at some point and even families won't stay with you, but people you don't even know. A young guyy, no more than 30years, had come in with about four of his family memeber, all went on well for the first few days of the guys admission, after fre days they start going one after the other, then it remains just a lady with this guy, we even thought the others went to source for money, lo and behold, they were all tired and all left, the last lady after calling them and others to send her money and to no avail left one midnight also, leaving this guy all alone, someone who can't situp or do anything on his own.
The families of other patients including mine became the caretaker, we all took it in turn to attend to him, when its time for the nurses to administer drugs or injection for him, we all check our pack of drugs to offer any that we have that he is using also, that ead how we did with the help of the nurses till I was discharged. Nobody knew him, we just had compassion on him and helped out, for the drugs that non of us have and are expensive, we contribute to buy it even though everyone there had one issue or the other. It was a defining one for me.
But compassion isn’t confined to humans, hospitals, animals and all are included, its just because most of mine was in the hospital. It is basically in our everyday moments, and it often go unnoticed. I one time offered to leave my space in a tricycle for an old man who wanted to sit in front, so I switched spaces with him, also some group of teenagers who cleaned up the environment after a flood in the neighborhood, they did it very early, I guess they weren't expecting recognition, not to talk of my favorite akara seller, These things, coming to my mind now, makes me know that compassion doesn’t always have to be a so big or grand gesture, sometimes, it’s as simple as sharing what you have or being present for someone who needs it.
I met a man during a long, hot queue at a bank. The ATM had decided to do what it knows how to do best when people are in haste, while tempers were flaring, a woman fainted from the heat, most people froze, unsure of what to do,this man stepped forward and fanned her until she came back, he gave her his bottle of water and then offered her his spot in the queue. No one asked him to, he just did, compassion is often spontaneous, a natural reaction to another person’s need.
My experiences taught me that compassion most times often requires no resources, only intention. The nurse who calmed my mother and the guy that everyone helped, it reminds me that we are all humans, and humanity comes before anything. It is very easy to get lost in our own struggles, to think there’s little we can do to make a difference. But every act of compassion, no matter how small do count.
Compassion is about the moments, the choices and what we do when no one is watching, those times we choose kindness over indifference, either it’s in a hospital, a marketplace, a long ATM queue, or anywhere we find ourselves, when its time to do or when something happens thats when we truly know that even though we are not blood related or are strangers, we are all somehow connected, and are all trying to make it through. And to me, that connection is what makes life truly beautiful.