There are a lot of times that I feel I wasn't doing enough no matter how hard I tried no matter how long I think have gone, I still feel as if I am still way behind. Sometimes I even hear my own thoughts, shouting hard at me, sometimes when I see somebody else winning, moving and achieving good and great things, I looked at myself wondering, if this is me living or just merely existing.
Even the society and everything around is not helping, they constantly reminds us that time is running, that we must always be on the move, not resting, to keep on hustling and pushing. You can't take a break cause you don't know if that break time could be your winning time, time does not wait also, so you keep on going. And then in that same world, in that same society there's always someone younger breaking records, theres always someone older also proving to you that it’s never too late, you see someone like you doing ten things successfully in one go and here you see still battling to get just one right. I have been there, and at those times, I ask myself "am I doing enough" " am I even enough".
I always wanted to succeed, to make impact, to do a lot of great things, and looking at all my goals and dreams, it seems they were still taking their time, despite all effort. And even the social media does not help things. Day in day out, I see people winning, elevating, upgrading and celebrating, and I just wonder if I am the only one stuck in this slow motion reality where things ain't working as fast as they should.
And then, there are heavy weight expectations, from a graduate like me, the family expectations, the societies expectations and even my self-imposed expectations. They keep asking you what the next step is the society keeps looking at what you doing, expecting way better. There’s always this silent pressure to keep doing more, to prove that you are not just existing but truly making good use every moment.
But here’s something I learnt, sometimes, we are doing enough, but because we measure ourselves with someone else’s timeline, it never feels like it. Some progress and growth happens in silence, and when the time if its manifestation comes, you won't be the one too, it will loud itself.
And just because they don’t look grand doesn't make them less of a win.
It is a feeling, and feeling like it doesn't mean we are failing, it just means we care and want to do better.. There's the need to always remember that our timings are different.
The only real competition is between who you were yesterday and who you are becoming today. We should always keep pushing, learning and moving, cause even if not fast enough, growth is indeed happening.
If you ever feel like, or you are feeling like you’re not doing enough, take a moment to look at how far you’ve come, lay aside the struggles and what you are yet to achieve, focus on those wins you call small..Then you will see you are doing way better than you think.
All pictures are mine.
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