There was a time I use to think long distance relationships weren't complicated, until I learned the hard way. I met this girl online. It wasn’t just one of those random chats with people that just fade in weeks, this was deep, and too good to be true. We shared almost everything together, from her happiest moments to her deepest fears. I knew her routine, the sound of her voice when she was excited, tired, or just being playful, I knew the clothes she's wearing out, what she's eating, where's she's going, everything, she keeps me updated about every single thing, we were miles apart, but it never felt like we were.
It was always some romantic good morning texts then video calls at night, we even watch movies, recommend songs and all, we planned a future we believe would happen in our hearts.
Real love isn’t just about physical presence. It’s about the connection, and we had that in ways I can’t even explain, so I wasn't even doubting a thing. I trusted her, I knew she trusted me too. She was my best friend and my safe space.
And then, it was just so sudden, she disappeared.
Not the kind of disappearance where someone gradually stops replying. This was different, we talked a day earlier and the next day she was gone, no warnings ,no messages, no explanation and her number wasn’t going through, her media handle was inactive. I tried everything I could, I searched under her profile for some of her friends, reached out to them but nothing was still happening, no trace of her.
I told myself it was probably her phone. Maybe it got stolen or got spoilt and that she’d be back soon. But days turned to weeks, weeks to months, and months to years reality.
It broke me, though I stopped talking about it, but it never left my mind. Did I do something wrong? Was it all a lie? Was I stupid to believe in something that never really existed? That was all the questions playing repeat in my head. But I knew it was real, It was too real to be fake and it hurts.
Wekl, life goes on, so I moved on had to move on. But I never for once forgot about her. You don’t just forget someone who was once your world. Its nit easy to erase such memories.
Then something happened, just early this year, after almost three years of silence, I got a message, gguess what, it was her.
For a moment, I just stared, couldn't respond, my heart was beating too fast, I even wanted to oreted I didn't see it, but I couldn't, the part of me that never stopped missing and thinking about her couldn't, I need to know, I deserve some explanations... So I responded.
She explained everything. How something happened, her phone was stolen, they were robbed, they changed location, she said a lot... And indeed it was something she had no control over. She explained how she tried everything she could to reach me, but nothing worked, they had to start life afresh where they relocated to so things has not been too good. She explained how she had been living with the pain of not knowing if I hated her for disappearing, she suffered in silence, just as I did.
I should have been angry, but the story was not something one should be angry of, I understood smd felt for her. She sent me her pictures and wow...ladies grow just too fast, and then all those emotions I buried came rushing back, and I thought if she still felt the same way about me, and I… I never really stopped feeling for her.
I asked her after some weeks of reuniting and she said she still did, that night the conversation was different, but then she said something that hit differently. She told me she didn’t want a long-distance relationship again. If I was near, or in same state, its still possible, but she couldn’t go through that pain again. She wanted something physical, and I understand her much more, as much as I wanted to hold onto what we had, I also knew that distance had been our greatest enemy, I knew what it did to me.
So here we are, still talking though. But knowing that maybe, just maybe, we were never meant to be that way we once imagined.
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