Hello everyone, and welcome to November as we bid farewell to October. Are you looking forward to the upcoming holidays, such as Christmas and New Year's? I must admit that I am very excited.
So, I didn't do much today, but my mother made another pizza for us. It's a delicious square pizza. But I'm not going to discuss pizza or provide a recipe here. Because I did wrote about it on Sunday.
My daughter finishes her work and reaches home around 6:30 p.m. She had mentioned to me that she would love to colour her hair, and as I suggested she buy a colour hair spray so it wouldn't stay permanent , she rejected my request.
As you all should know now, this is my teenage daughter. How would you think a teenager would react when I declined their demands ? So, I called my cousin and asked if she could help me colour my daughter's hair. And she asked us to come to her saloon tonight.
I company my daughter and we took a Grab Car to the salon. We began our journey shortly after 8 p.m. And, I must say, the weather is appalling. It was pouring cats and dogs outside. The rain had stopped by the time we arrived at the salon.
As I watch my cousin attend to my daughter, I realize that this is her first time colouring her hair, and she purposefully chose a green colour because she plans to attend a costume anime event in my hometown soon as "Joker."
I recall the first time I coloured my hair, which was during my freshman year of college. She and I are the same age. I did it myself rather than going to a salon. I remember the desire to do a lot of things as a teenager, and I'm glad I got to spend it with my daughter.
How quickly time passes, and she has grown into such a wonderful person and has become so beautiful. My daughters are the most beautiful women in the world in my opinion. I suppose every mother feels the same way.
A mother's "friend" is the last thing a teenage girl needs. She needs a mother who will support her, comfort her, listen to her cries, and stand firm when she rebels because she must in order to become an independent person. Does this mean you can't have fun and engage in activities and sharing with one another? Obviously not!
In order to raise my two daughters and two sons and be their parent, I constantly remind myself to be patient. When I become a single mother, things become more complicated. However, I am fortunate in that as my mother and my siblings are my biggest supporter and my will to live.
Remember Melissa, Be patient!
Patient recalling how difficult it was to experience adolescence and the raging hormones. Being understanding of the fact that she is currently attempting to define her own identity. Be understanding that she might not like you right away. She might even despise you. Keep calm because that usually changes.
I wrote this while waiting for her, and these are just a few of my thoughts as I sat there contemplating the future and my children. This is advice for myself, and perhaps for all the mothers out there with a teen daughter or son. Perhaps this will help.
Pick your battles carefully. Still, you are her mother. Be dependable. If she has brothers and sisters, the rules for curfew, inspecting in, household duties before fun, sitting down to eat across from each other at least twice a week, even if it's difficult to swallow your food, and attitude should be the same as they were for her siblings.
Although she still needs you, be patient knowing that the more you push yourself on her, the more she will push you away. Make sure she is aware that you will listen to her without passing judgement. The challenging part is right there. She may open up to you and you react with anger, shock, or judgement, but if you mean it and follow through, she won't feel comfortable approaching you again.
I'm not saying to excuse inappropriate behaviour or to demand better of her. I meant every word I said; keep in mind that we are all only human, and this is one of her most trying times. She'll make decisions that she'll later regret. She needs to understand that it is okay to talk to you if she has disappointed herself or needs your advice. even if you don't always agree with her decisions, she can always count on your love and support.
Be kind to yourself.
She will occasionally try to start a fight on purpose. Avoid acting in that manner. If it succeeds, she'll try it again, and in her mind, it will prove all the negative things she was thinking about you at the time. But keep in mind too. We are also human. There will be errors made. Forgive yourself and take the lesson to heart.
Knowing that this too will pass gives you patience. For me, those adolescent years were the most difficult ever. Your "rebellious" adolescent must emerge from your shadow in order to mature. You decide whether to be sympathetic or judgmental.
Explore your own heart. Are you looking for a perfect child so you can brag to your friends about her? Are you experiencing life through her? Do you anticipate that she will succeed where you failed because you did? Ignore it. She needs your unwavering love and acceptance because she has her own goals.
Simply smile, give her a hug, and tell her you love her if you are unable to say anything to encourage her. She only ever wants to hear that. She will navigate life on her own, and it is entirely up to you whether she comes to trust you and selects you as a mature friend. Right now, you are laying the groundwork for the next 50 years. That's it. This is your one and only opportunity. Only this is yours. So, place it carefully.
Try to put yourself in her shoes? We used to be a teenager before. She will eventually give birth to your grandchildren. Do you believe you'll ever see them? Why not, if not? Correct it. So, this is just my day's journey. It took about four hours, and by the time she finally settled, it was already midnight. I'm not sure if this is mother-daughter bonding time because we were both exhausted and sleepy.
Fortunately, since my cousin is the owner and the boss, the salon can always be closed anytime. I may return at a later date for my hair treatment. And I might consider coloring my hair "orange" or perhaps ash grey. I'll have to consider it and make a choice.
Disclaimer : All photos are taken by me and edited via Canva
All Pictures Taken During the Event Mentioned
