Of course, as expected another subject by 
When emotions dictate our lives
I see it every time I spend a few minutes on Fakebook...
Yes, I'm a traitor: I still go there... I spend a whole hour or so a week on Facebook to check messages and keep in touch with friends who aren't here (yet). And every time it's longer than an hour, it's because I had to do it...
"What did you have to do", you ask?
I'll explain: It usually starts when I read a post by one or the other friend. These are usually friends who I respect, love and I respect what they stand for. I have one friend in particular whose posts I always try to read. She's the one that introduced me to crypto, and I introduced her to Steem.
Anyway, she posted something about veganism and about the evil corporations making billions of the suffering of animals. Hey, I agree! I hate the suppression of any kind, and the suppression and brutal killings of animals in the western world is definitely one of those kinds.
The thing is, she is extremely passionate about these kinds of things and she will express those feelings.
This almost always attracts the negative attention from a few individuals (how on earth they always seem to find her is a mystery to me!).
So this one guy tried to push his opinion on her as well as all the people that agreed with her, by making it a big old mess in the comments of her post. He told her that she was talking bullshit, that veganism has no scientific grounds, and even the bible came into play. When she calmly, but strongly replied to this, his anger seemed to get out of control.
He even ended up sending her a private message with all kinds of finger pointing, angry words, name-calling etc. etc.
She posted the message, and all it showed us was that this man is a deranged individual, possibly dangerous to women (he had a very patriarchic feel to him, and I am saying this in the nicest possible way: his words: the man is the HEAD of the woman...uhm...yeah, exactly) and to be honest: pretty much everything that came out of his mouth was toxic and complete bullshit.
Anyway, back to what I had to go and do...
I can't stand people like that, and I had to jump in there and offer her some support. So I stated some facts, gave him some scientific grounds, and even quoted the bible on it since he seemed to be into that.
I remained calm, just stated what I had. Now, I will never know what his response would have been since he was blocked not long after his initial insults, but I've done these kinds of things before, and it can usually go two ways: they either shut up completely or come back with even more unreasonable statements.
In this guy's case, I learned a few things: His carnivorism (yes, he did NOT eat anything but meat) turned him into a nasty little man, or he was already like that before. Not sure which one is scarier. Either way, by being the way he was, he kinda proved her point. The second thing was that this man very obviously lets his emotions dictate his life.
He sees a post that is completely harmless to anyone, in my opinion, he can't just leave it alone and has to comment...no: attack. Then, when the writer or others put him in his place by remaining calm but straightforward, the bomb bursts and he had to go on spreading his toxins. Ugh. If it would have been me in his shoes, I probably would have taken a few good breaths, and left it at that.
Bringing your whatever emotions into play is never a good idea and always brings problems.
It left me to wonder what else he had stored away deep inside.
When our lives dictate our emotions
I'm not sure if everyone else sees it like this. But to me, this would mean that if you're on a stroke of luck, you feel happy and good, but if you're not so lucky, you'd be sad or angry.
Now, the first option would be the best one right? But what if I tell you that neither is a good way to go?
Because if you feel extremely happy, excited, good about something good, then how will you feel if things aren't going that great?
Will you wallow in self-pity or get depressed? Because these feelings and emotions can easily get out of hand if you let them.
When I grew up, my parents and family would always ask twice if I was happy about something. It could be a gift, or a trip to somewhere I wanted to go for ages, anything really. They asked twice because even though I felt happiness or excitement about those things, I wasn't very good at expressing it.
I'm still not. I always thought it was funny to see people win something at these game shows on TV. You know those who cry, jump up and down, scream or whatnot. Hey, don't get me wrong. I'd be extremely happy if I won something, and I'd politely say "That's GREAT! Thank you!" But I'm not the bouncing, jumping, screaming and crying kind. It's just not in me. And I always thought that those people were overdoing it. Because again: if you respond like that to winning money (or any material thing) then how will you respond if something really, really bad happens in your life?
If I see friends I haven't seen in a long time, or like last year: when I saw my Steem friends at Steemfest, I can be a bit more enthusiastic. Hey, I cried when it was time to say good-bye. I admit it. Because it would be at least another year before I would see these people again, and it made me emotional. But I do not let these emotions rule me or my life.
When I went back to Holland last year, to be with my friend and her family in mourning, I had my own emotions, and of course, they were visible, but it wouldn't have served any of us if I would have turned into an emotional mess. I was there for them, to be her rock to lean on when she needed it, and my emotions only truly came out after we came back here.
So sometimes my family would tell me that they thought I had no feelings. Well, that's a bit much, don't you think? So just because I don't jump up and down when we were going to an amusement park, I don't have any feelings?
On the other hand, they judged me for being overly emotional when it came to injustice. Or something related to animals (I once cried on the side of the road because they wouldn't let me pick up this snail that later got trampled on by people behind us). I mean...make up your damn mind!
But I never really let their thoughts about me bother me too much. I know me, and I know my inner feelings, and just because I don't openly express it all the time, it doesn't mean there's something wrong with me. I think emotions are very much dictated by society. It's society as a whole that expect a certain response to certain things, and if you don't fit the mold, well then you're 'different'.
Emotions: friend or foe?
To begin with, I think it's important to mention that emotions come from memories. If we never experienced anything that angered us, or made us fearful of anything (like getting bitten by an animal or falling), we simply would never be angry or afraid... Let that sink in. That crazy consciousness again.😜
If I'm passionate about something, I try to leave my emotions out of it. Usually, those emotions are mostly triggered by someone or something outside of myself. Like in the case of this Facebook comment: I try to make sure to bring my message across in a meaningful way, but I don't let any negative response get to me. If I do, my emotions will get the best of me and I will react out of emotion, and it doesn't do anything other than spark more emotional response in others.
The other way around, if it's something positive, I try to do the same.
Do I feel happiness and joy when my kids are playing and enjoying themselves at the beach and having a great time?
Yes, I do!
Do I jump around like some happy-jappy ding-dong? No, I don't. I'm quite content with those feelings of happiness without making a big fuss about it. Not good for the heart if you ask me. I'd much rather have a good work-out to get the heart rate going...
I've had my moments when I let my emotions get the best of me. Good or bad. And looking back at it, it has never served me or anyone else. Good or bad.Trust me, I had to learn that the hard way. The last couple of years, I have learned to tone down my emotions, by acknowledging them, figuring out what triggered them, and let them go.
Self-hypnosis or meditation work wonders with that.
I mean, you see Buddhist monks in prayer sit calmly and be content, but you never see them jump around like a crazed wild beast with rabies. Like ever. And I'm pretty sure that these monks feel pretty damn good.
Conclusion
This was a hard one. And I had to dig up a few things to get it clear for me and try to explain it well enough to understand. Of course, showing emotions is not always a bad thing. It's perfectly fine to cry or feel joy, or happiness in certain situations. But happiness is often confused with being content. Feeling overwhelming happiness or sadness is never good in any situation and can't last or shouldn't. However, feeling content about what is achieved, or how the kids thrive, or how things have worked out for you can. And in a way, being content with a situation is like feeling happiness without all the bells and whistles. If emotions run your life, or your life dictates your emotions, then I think that some work needs to be done to change this. Yes, a smile makes other people smile, and joy is contagious, but the same thing goes for feeling and being content with ones' life. If more people would just be that, content, and less emotional, I think the world would look completely different too.
Whether we let our emotions take the upper hand in our lives, or let wherever we are in life, and whatever we go through dictate our emotions... it's unbalanced. Although it's quite normal and perfectly fine to go through different emotions and truly feel them, they shouldn't take up all of our time and energy or before you know it: our emotions become our lives and possibly our worst enemy. And whichever side the scale tips to, it's never a good idea if it's not balanced. A long period of ecstatic happiness may sound amazing, but if life happens, then chances are that the scale is going to tip completely the other way. It's not the pursuit of one or the other that's the key, but truly finding a balance in life, and being content with it, seems to be.
Thank you for reading!