Happy New Year to all you amazing content creators out there in Steem-land! This here's a shout-out post showcasing the best and brightest of the Steemit world (at least as it relates to my feed, which, let's be honest, is the only one that matters besides your very own, of course). With 2019 roaring in like a jet-powered hoverboard, and Crypto prices going up and down like a man drowning in a pile of angry, 'nad-gnawing weasels, there's never been a better time to update that 'Following' list. If you're reading this, you've already picked me up like a Russian weight lifter, but in case you've suffered a case of "Who the hell is this guy?", allow me to explain.
I'm Modern Zorker, bitches. I command wolves...
... fight the evil Galactic Empire ...
... and travel with my fellow incarnations through Time and Space righting wrongs by the TARDIS-load.
The bad news? You'll never be me.
The good news? Um...well hold on just a minute. I'm sure I'll come up with something.
. . .
Oh, hey, I know! You're not 
Anyway, much as it might seem like I'm lying through my teeth, this post actually isn't about me. It's about you.
Specifically, it's about all of the 'yous' that I really, really like. And if I really, really like you, then chances are everyone else should really, really like you too. So, to that end, I made up a little Naughty list right here of Steemians you should be following. These are people who are very social, post relatively frequently, and love interacting with their readers. Many of them are still small in terms of both Steem Power and Reputation scores, but I predict a seismic shift will occur in 2019 that puts this motley crew of dong demons, ass assassins, and phallus palaces on a collision course with destiny!
Assuming they don't all unfriend me for gratuitous hyperbole and unnecessary alliteration first.
So, with no further ado and in no particular order, these are my personal list of Top Three Steemians To Follow in this new year!
(Please be aware that if you didn't make the list, it's not because I hate you or anything, I just needed to keep this relatively short and doing a "Top Three" seemed the easiest way to keep me under 5,000 words).
I create most of my posts here on Steemit by mashing things like my earlobes or the backs of my knees into the keyboard. Jane, on the other hand, is what's known in the industry as "a real gawd-damn writer". I should know: I have her book The Drowning Game in my enormous To-Be-Read-In-2019 stack pile heap absurd clusterfuck of an excuse for a back-log of reading material.
But really, what I love about Jane is just how much she truly knows her stuff.
Seriously, this woman is incredible. Her essays on horror and film are jaw-dropping in their breadth, depth, and subject matter. She writes with a wisdom borne from a life of having truly lived for every year she's been on the planet. I like horror because I like horror. She, on the other hand, likes horror because (as a subset of Fantasy) it's the one genre not afraid to critique anything and everything around it, and she will waste no time pointing out not only how effective a given story or technique is, but also why it is so effective. If you love cinema, if you love horror, or you just love reading the kinds of essays you wish had been in your college textbooks instead of yet another auto-fellating tribute to Shakespeare or Emerson, then get your butt over to her blog and follow her already!
Maybe it's kind of silly to put someone like 
The best way I can describe
Trust me on this,
Man, just when you think you know something about music, along comes someone who not only puts you in your place, but makes sure that place is right beside her on the stage, even though you don't belong anywhere within 10,000 miles of her. I'm not kidding when I say that following 
Marvel as she waxes poetic on why Def Leppard is so amazing. Think about the vastness of your ignorance as she dredges up amazing covers of songs you never knew received covers. And try the fuck not to cry when she pens a loving tribute to a dear friend, taken from this world too soon.
Ilsa, you're one in about a quarter of a million here on Steemit. Keep doing what you're doing. You're the textbook definition of a badass who puts this guy's musical knowledge and skill with words to utter shame.
So there you have it, my loyal minions. Three "can't miss" blockchain bloggers to subscribe to now that 2019 has tossed what was left of 2018 into the sausage maker. As proof of how awesome these three Steemians are, I'm putting my money where my mouth is and awarding 1 share of 
Thanks for being awesome, and I look forward to watching you all grow bigger and better as the year goes by! I also challenge you to pay it forward, and over the next 365 days, find three people of your own who, in your opinion, deserve to be rewarded for their hard work and dedication, and sponsor them into the program.
-- Zorker Out!