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To Fit In Or To Be Different?
It is very interesting that sometimes, things happen that make people have a general opinion about certain things, certain genders, certain professions, tribes etc.
Taking a closer look, the reason may just be because of some painful experiences they have had with the entity or entities in question. But apart from that, it may also be that they didn't have any direct experience, rather they heard about it and believed it.
Of course, it is possible that some general or public opinion may really have an element of truth embedded inside it no matter how small.
Just For Instance
In my country Nigeria, men from a certain part of the country are generally believed by others to be so money-minded that they can do anything for money. And then, ladies from a particular part of the country are said to only be in relationships just because of money. Again, some believe that men or women from certain communities are never faithful in marriage. Etc, etc.
These things have been spread so much that anyone from these areas are always eyed with suspicion.
My Choice To Be Different
I personally made a decision to not judge any individual because of general opinions about his or her tribe. I made the choice to relate with people on individual basis knowing that everyone cannot be the same. This kind of open-mindedness has worked to my advantage, in the sense that I have been able to make and retain friends and clients from different tribes who respect me for being accomodating.
I also made the choice to not fit into any box used to describe my gender, especially when it comes to finances. Some people believe that it is the woman's lot to just depend on their spouse for everything, but I never wanted a life where I will depend on a man for all my needs no matter how much love is between us. And especially, considering our African families that see their brother's money as their own, I don't want anyone to have the chance of telling me I am spending their brother's money. (Brothers, sorry ooo😂).
I also made a choice to be different from the general view of women as gossips. I find it difficult to listen to or add to any discussion about someone behind their backs. Those that know me know that I don't have time for such nonsense.
What Makes My Spouse Different
I know some people find it hard to believe in praying about their future partner. Yet, I can tell you for free that my husband is an answer to my prayer.
I grew up knowing men who abused their wives verbally and physically. I didn't want that to be my story, so I prayed for someone who would be different, someone who will share my values and principles and... wah lah!
My husband is gentle, kind, loving. He loves God, and I believe that makes it easier to love me and the kids. He keeps no secrets from me (yes, please... so don't roll your eyes 😂).
Helping My Children To Be Different
I made up my mind to teach my children by example. From the first child who will turn 20 in September to the youngest who clocked 12 years old last May, I know I have tried and am still trying to lead them by practicing what I preach. About cleanliness, faith in God, prayers, gratitude, truthfulness, friendships, money etc.
A few years ago when we relocated from the North, I found myself in an environment filled with so much rottenness. It was a complete opposite of where we were coming from. You could see the moral decay all around. I knew I had a big responsibility to guide and teach my children to make right choices.
I needed wisdom, and I prayed for wisdom. I still pray for wisdom because my work is not yet done. Very soon the children will all leave home, but I just can't stop asking the God that gave me the children to give me wisdom to train them.
I have tried to make them understand that they must believe in themselves, be confident and authentic. I know how strong peer pressure can be, but I let them know how important it is that they make the right choices today for the sake of tomorrow (and of course explaining to them what a right choice will look like in certain situations).
This part of guiding my children and encouraging them to be different has been a combined effort of my hubby and I.
In Conclusion
Being Different is a choice. Blending and fitting in is also a choice.
I have made my choice to be different and unique. It is my authenticity that makes me who I am, even though many don't like me for being myself. But then it doesn't matter as long as I know I have made the right choice to be me.
Thank you for reading. I have written this post as my entry for Thinker's Corner Challenge July Edition organised by 
The images used in this post are mine.
Thank you once again.