We all have expectations. They may be realistic or unrealistic. When our expectations fall apart, it could lead to disappointment. The truth is that every human has different expectations, of which some can serve as motivation for us to do better in life. However, there are some unrealistic expectations around us in our society today, which I would love to discuss in this post.
One of such expectations, which I find unrealistic, is certain people hoping that they will be an agent of change to your partner after marriage, even after noticing red flags during dating. The truth is that change is constant. The person might either change for good or go worst with whatever red character you noticed. What then will become your story when the later happens? This kind of expectations is quite common around me and majority of people who give a blind eye to a particular red flag force themselves into the relationship because of money or this word called love. Then, along the line with the relationship, you will discover that instead of changing the guy for good, you may end up being influenced negatively by his character or forced to live a certain lifestyle you never wished for your life. This turnout can be quite unhealthy.
I have a very close friend who married this young guy, expecting that he would change from hitting her and insulting her after their marriage. Their dating was a disaster, and even I from afar saw the red flags, pointed them out to my girl friend, and told her to watch it, but no, she had this expectation of having a changed man after marrying him. The girl makes money while the guy forces her to pay in the money into his account. She dares not send her hard-earned money to her parents without the permission of the guy. She sees all that but put a deaf ear to it. It's been three years since they finally got married together, and I tell you that the beast in the man multiplied. It's been a terrible experience with my girl friend in that marriage, to the point that she is currently planning on running away from the so-called man she expected to change. Lesson: not all red signals should be overlooked all in the name of expecting a change!
Another kind of unrealistic expectation around us today is certain people hoping to be giving back the same or a higher kind of gift after gifting someone. Take, for instance, someone who gave birth and you bought diapers and baby clothes to go visit such a person. Then, after some time, you gave birth yourself and started nurturing these high expectations that the same person should come and see your own child too because you visited her back then. In most cases, it's not everyone you gifted something that gives you back. Is not everyone you attended their marriage ceremony will attend yours! Is not everyone you sent cash to during his or her birthday that would return that. I wish people would start understanding that unrealistic expectations aren't healthy and embrace a simple lifestyle. Just give anyone something because you feel so without disturbing your sanity through expectations.
Finally, some other common unrealistic expectations around us are these below scenarios: How old are you? You haven't gotten married at this age? Really? What are you still waiting for or doing in your father's house by this age? And then some gals dating young guys and asking if the guy already has a car, a house, and all you can think of. Even some relatives expect their rich uncles to cater for their needs, and when such expectations aren't meant, their once-good family relationship turns toxic. These are unrealistic expectations, and it makes sense to take one step at a time, plan your life, and work towards your plans without unnecessary pressures and without feeling entitled to anyone for a healthier lifestyle.
This post was inspired by the #inleo community and my entry to the #Augustinleo monthly topic Day 21.Please check out the prompt to get involved.
Image 1 is mine while image 2 was taken and edited in canva