To Not Take Rubbish - A phrase commonly used on social media platforms as the act of not settling for less.
If you'll agree with me, it's very easy to settle for less. It's very easy to keep accepting the rubbish people keep on throwing your way just because you don't want to be seen as a mean person or you think being firm is being mean.
Today, two girls in my hostel had a quarrel. A misunderstanding that should never have amounted to this, had they set boundaries earlier on.
One of the girls ran an online store, a cloth business particularly. The other girl ordered a pair of pants from her but didn't understand fully the outfit description. The outfit was a thrifted collection and of course, the girl who sold, sold it at a price, only thrifts would pass for. It is a well known fact that a new pant would never be sold at that price, unless you're a thief. Anyways, this girl went ahead to pay for the trouser without fully understanding the details. The trouser came. It didn't come with a label because yeah, it's a thrifted piece but the material was really really nice. So, this particular customer told the girl that that wasn't what she wanted and requested for a change.
This time around, she requested for a new jean trouser at the same price for a thrifted jean. She refused to top the initial amount or even collect her money and go find it at her price elsewhere. She asked the girl to change it and when the girl eventually did, she finally found something suitable for the price. Of course, the customer didn't like it. So today, the issue escalated and the girl went as far as defaming the other girl's business page on TikTok.
When I heard the story, I had no idea what to feel because I felt this issue could have saved everybody the stress and time used to settle the quarrel, had the business owner been more stern. I don't run a business but I believe, as a business owner, you should have set rules that you wouldn't bend for anybody. Accepting to find a cloth at a price you know you wouldn't get one should be among the top five in that list. And then, she went ahead to get something of low quality because she intended to please the customer.
To be firm is not to be mean. It is knowing what you want, defining it and making sure to stand by it. It is okay to be clear about what you want and ensuring that nobody breaches that line. It is okay to be firm when it comes to things like prioritizing your peace. It is okay to be firm where things like personal goals are concerned. It is okay to be firm when people begin to overstep boundaries. It is okay to be very very firm where relationships are concerned.
I'll emphasize on the last one a lot. Like I said in the beginning, settling for less or accepting whatever is tossed your way, just because you don't want to hurt other's feelings, doesn't and will never make you the hero in their story. Compromising for a person when deep down, you know it that this isn't something you're comfortable with, but because it is seen in the eyes of people around you as normal, you go ahead to do it, does not in anyway classify you as a good person. Those people you're putting above yourself, are they really worth it? Are they worth more than you, to you?
There are situations in life that call for firmness and it's only best when it is applied almost immediately. It is okay to be firm about things you don't like. It is okay to be firm and say no to situations you're not comfortable with. Because You matter the most, to You.