I spent about 6 months in Lagos, commuting every day between work and home. And one thing I noticed is that we are not all the same in this cubicle we call life, especially when it comes to sharing the same bus.
My university sent me out of the school's compound. It's not for the reason that I am unintelligent, but for the reason that I need to spend some time gaining practical knowledge in my field of study.
But with my last experience in IT, I had to make smart moves to get a place that was much more convenient. I often spent all of my time being the errand boy of the year the last time.
You know how people tend to use you when you are learning at their feet. Rather than learning about diesel combustion engines, I often found myself filling bank tellers for some of the workers or buying bread & beans for their lunchesโjust imagine...a future leader like myself.
Lagos, however, is a crazy place where crazy people chaotically co-exist. And if you think you are crazy, you are sure bound to find someone that you would bow to. Nonetheless, you do not want to take a moment to be gullible. You have to watch out for your own back, literally.
Just imagine a slight bump into a stranger by mistake turning into a heavyweight championship match. In such a fight, you are either Mohammed Ali or the one demolished by Mohammed Ali.
And so, to avoid all the inconveniences of using the conventional Danfo buses, I opted for the new BRT buses that were in town.
The BRT buses have air conditioning systems, which is like a dream to every Nigerian: having public transport with cool air to serenade your overheated brain from all the hustle.
 Danfo bus |
 BRT bus |
They are really long vehicles and have so much space. So rather than sharing a seat of four with five other people (that's six people), you just have your own seat. And there's so much space to walk, as opposed to kicking every leg in your way just to get in or out of Danfo buses. "What a blessing," I thought to myself. What I would then experience from thereon was another story.
You see, with comfort like this, people tend to be rather funny. Well, maybe not everybody. It's just that I found the people I traveled with every day to be peculiar.
There are certain types of people one would find on BRT buses, especially on trips back home. Some of them are amusing; others are rather annoying. And because traffic jams are more of a tradition in Lagos, one is often stuck with them for hours.
The "only ones" on the bus
It is very normal to need to make phone calls on the buses. However, it becomes very abnormal when this certain type of commuter does so.
How is it that you have a mobile phone right next to your face, and then the volume at which you speak with the call recipient is like you are the only one on the bus? I mean, these types of people would speak shout so loudly that one could believe the person they are trying to talk to is on the other side of the planet.
The rather appalling part is that they'd be so loud that you sure would find them in your dreams at night, as they are just too loud to dismiss.
"The cinema owners"
The only way I can find a film amusing is if my eyes actually see what is going on. But how on earth am I supposed to feel entertained if I hear everything in the movie but not see anything?
This type of commuter is the one that either doesn't know where earphones are sold or just doesn't know that they exist. Becauseee??? I don't understand why you'd watch a movie in a bus without earphones and then have the volume all turned up.
Really, this should not be much of a problem. The thing is, the films are never in English. They are usually seeing a movie with Lee Min Ho in it, and then all you hear is, "Ni hu zin shu chula..." for most of the trip.
"The singer of the year"
Now, these ones know exactly where to get earphones. It's a good thing they alone listen to what it is they want to hear on their devices. The problem now is that they sing out loud.
Sitting besides these ones can only mean two things: either you enjoy them or you just want to smack them with the fire extinguisher nearby. Most of the time, it is the latter.
Some are like me; they just don't know the lyrics of the song and just want to join in anyway and enjoy the moment. It is even worse when they try to sing Eminem. You'd wonder where they learned Chinese.
"The fancy foodies"
It is very normal to need to take something down one's throat after a long and tiring day. You get a drink and a snack and munch them. But there are those who regularly eat the fanciest foods.
When they unwrap that jumbo sharwarma or unleash the parfait with a thousand flavors, they take their time to finish it. Then they now ask me, "Can you help me toss it in the bin?"
"Oh, so now you see me?"
"From the beginning till the end of your adventure, I must have been invisible."
...is what I think before I give a fake smile and say,
Of course...
When in reality, I be expecting something like'
"Hi, do you mind one? I actually got two, just for whoever I would be sitting with."
In all, these types of people make up for the typical cummuting experiences that are memorable. So what then do we do without them?
Surely, you must have communting experiences. Share the things that you just never understand about some other commuters.
โ๐๐ช, ๐๐ ๐ช๐ ๐ฆ ๐๐๐๐ ๐ช๐๐ ๐ฅ๐๐๐ค ๐ก๐ ๐ค๐ฅ, ๐๐๐๐๐๐ช ๐๐๐๐ง๐ ๐ ๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐ฅ, ๐ฃ๐๐๐๐ ๐, ๐ ๐ฃ ๐ฆ๐ก๐ง๐ ๐ฅ๐. ๐๐ฅ'๐๐ ๐ค๐ฆ๐ฃ๐ ๐๐ ๐๐ก๐ก๐ฃ๐๐๐๐๐ฅ๐๐.
๐ฎ๐๐ ๐๐๐ ๐พ๐ ๐๐ฝ๐ ๐๐๐๐ . . .