Growing up in a strict Nigerian family means so many things, but most importantly, it means you may never get to hear the words "sorry" or "I apologize" from your parents. When I saw the topic for this week, I smiled because just a few days ago, I was telling a new friend of mine about what my childhood was like and she was amazed because she had never heard such a story.
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Let me tell you a bit about my childhood, I grew up in an extremely religious family, you know the type of family where everything you speak about, or think about has to be related to church activities and nothing else.
It wasn't just about going to church, we strictly followed a doctrine that gave no room for fashion of any sort. As a lady, you were only permitted to carry your natural hair without adding any form of attachment, you were not permitted to put on earrings, put on trousers, have make-up on, wear a short skirt, or do anything that spells "Fashion".
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As a young girl, I wanted to do everything to please my parent, I wanted to be a good girl and make them happy with me, but nothing I did seemed ever to be good enough, my childhood was taken away, and the fun of making mistakes as a child was never permitted.
Despite that, I did all I could to do right by my parents, but it seemed I never gave my best, so I got tired of trying and decided to choose my path. Immediately I gained admission to the higher institution, I promised myself to understand what this religion is for myself because I saw people who were Christians and were also living a good life unlike what I experienced growing up.
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I started to read books, listen to messages, and get close to people who had a different experience from me for better enlightenment. After realizing that religion could be a fun, exciting, and beautiful experience, I decided to go back home to share what I had learned with my parents, but once again I was shut up and discarded, what better experience could you have gotten that is better than my walk with God all these years, my Dad yelled at me.
I left home that day, and I promised myself never to go back home again until I had something to prove my worth to my parents. I stayed back in school when other kids went home for the holidays, and whenever my parents asked why I didn't come home, I gave the excuse that the holiday was short and distance was a barrier.
I did this all through my days at the university, and my Dad started to get bothered when I still didn't go back home after my convocation, he asked his friend whom I was close to at the time to speak with me. I opened up to my Dad's friend who felt displeased at his friend's attitude towards me, so he immediately called my Dad to tell him how hurt I felt.
A few days later, I was called back home where I bluntly told my Dad about how difficult he made growing up for me, and how hurt I felt with everything he did for me, I cried whilst expressing myself because this was a burden I had carried for years.
My Dad explained he had to be strict with me because he wanted the best for me, he explained he didn't mean to hurt me or make me feel bad in any way, he was only acting based on what he had learned about parenting and doing the things he thought would me turn out to be an excellent daughter.
He gave me a substantial amount to support my business and has been a better and more supportive father since then. He has become less of a doctrine person, and we are all now free to do whatever we want. We have a strong father-daughter relationship now and even though separated by distance, we get to speak for a long over the phone, but all through to date, I didn't hear him say the word sorry.