Akila ”, I saw that the girl whom I called her name gently was seriously staring at the laptop screen in front of her, I introduce my name, Nela, a little proud that I was Akila's best friend who accompanied her, me and Kila (my friendly greeting for her) had been friends since we first started. both went to junior high school and now we are facing a final assignment, long time. It felt like only yesterday that I saw him with his thin, shoulder-length hair, very sweet, and now we are both grown. But now there is one thing I don't understand about him, Akila.
"Kila woy, you can just call me" I called him again, he was always so too cool with his world. "Hmm, yeah ..." Kila answered my call lazily and didn't look away from the laptop screen. "What is this? Look at me for a moment "I'm impatient, something I want to ask is really something I can't understand. "What's up, Nel? You're just bothering me! " finally Kila relented, she looked at the laptop screen that I currently hold "Oh that .." Then she looked back at her own laptop screen.
"Kila, I'm serious, please explain what is this?" A little annoyed I see the ignorance of Kila this time.
"Hmmm" Kila shifted his sitting position "that's my blog, Nel. Why?" Kila tidying her shoulder hair that hung down in a mess "You know I want to write, how do you ask, what is that, Nel." he continued.
"Yes, yes I know you want to write, but what do you mean by this? Is there something you're hiding from me? " I'm still curious and want to listen to the full explanation from Kila.
"Dear Nela, that's my blog, my writing, haven't I told you, not necessarily everything I write is about me, right?" I paused to listen to Kila's words, it felt right too, but this one was strange, Kila's writings this time were like writing a true story of someone who was familiar to me. "Okay, I've answered it right? I want to continue typing, deadline cuy, "Kila looked back at her laptop screen.
‘Ah maybe yes it's just my gut feeling’ I cried inside. Then I left Kila, who was busy with her laptop, going to my room.
In my room I was stalking Kila's blog again, the story I was reading was very touching, the story of a woman who finally gave up a loved one to be happy in her own way, wait! Wait, what is this? God, Akila, I hope you're not lying to me. It says "if Alexandria had never given up on something that was not necessarily God's destiny, if Alexandria was convinced that Andromeda was his true love, why did Alexandria have to give up then? Even though Alexandria knew, he really loved Andromeda ... "
Alexandria Andromeda both names are familiar in my ears, O Lord Akila, I really did not expect, finally I tried to find the truth with what I thought, I read from the longest post that Akila sent, one by one, slowly, and without tears in my eyes. Akila, it's still like before, someone I knew 8 years ago. Here again, still in front of the laptop screen I looked far back eight years ago.
At that time Akila and I were still in the ninth grade of junior high school, Kila was in love with a class next door man, her name was Arai. Every day the topic of our conversation only discusses Arai Arai and Arai, nothing else, even funny when Akila shed tears telling about Arai, actually I'm annoyed why Kila must selebay love Arai. But I as a good friend remain faithful to listen to Akila's story.
Arai, a quiet man who has a sweet smile and sharp eyes drifts according to Akila. Having the full name Arai Febrian, she is in a residential complex with Akila. Akila said, actually she had admired Arai since she was in 5th grade, I may say that Akila was crazy, since grade 5 elementary school and it has been 4 years since Akila still praised her as high as the sky like this, huft really right? Now when we are in ninth grade, Akila has just been given a chance to get close to Arai, and that makes Akila even more crazy, no day without telling Arai, Arai, and Arai, it seems like in Akila's world there is only Arai. Finally the top of the Ulam beloved arrived, Arai and Akila were invented, well I was happy to see it, they really matched the same look in the eyes with thick eyebrows that were almost similar, anyway even though they were not a group of people who were beautiful and handsome but they were suitable, it was ideal .
One of our schools knows how the love story between Arai and Akila, not infrequently also envious stares that see their harmony, I was jealous, it feels like to have a partner like Arai and Kila, both love and love each other with all my heart, always me see love in the eyes of Arai and Kila when they look at each other, ummm anyway they are so sweet. And their stories are like happy stories in a fairytale world, always happy together, when Kila is in trouble, Arai is the first person who will help her besides me, when Kila cries, Arai is the best leaning place Kila has when I am not around, more than months months until the graduation of Arai and Kila finally get a different school. Even so, they were always together, even though there was no doubt there was also a small commotion that was unavoidable, until one day Arai surrendered to defend Kila.
I remember that time, Arai's second birthday with Kila, Arai asked Kila to stop loving him, Arai was so stupid how could Kila who loved him be able to forget him just like that, there I was as best friend of Kila's best seeing for myself how hurt Kila with Arai's decision . But indeed they have the same great love, finally they get back together again, for years until one day Kila gets a reprimand from her family, they ask Kila not to continue her relationship with Arai. Actually it has happened a long time ago, but Kila always maintains her relationship with Arai, because Kila believes, Arai is her first and last love, but what happened when it really shakes the power of love Kila, because Arai is starting to be different and Kila is starting to not understand Arai, at that time they decided to separate, really separated, because the fact is that until now after 5 years the incident had passed, there was no longer Arai and Akila who joined together even though they remained close like friends.
Ah, why do I have to dream so far? But seriously I really did not expect all this time I was still loyal to accompany Akila, a place where she told various things about her life, about her love story with other men besides Arai, but I never heard the story about this again after her separation from Arai five last year. Akila is still in love with Arai, it feels very strange, what kind of friend am I, when I don't understand Akila's feelings at all.
Indeed, this strange thing I have kissed since the last time Akila established a relationship with another man three years ago, Akila never again told me about the man who used to try to get into Kila's life. I once asked if Kila wasn't trying to open her heart to another man besides Frans, the name of his last girlfriend. Kila just smiled pias, I guess all this time she chose herself without a man because Kila could not forget Frans, but the fact is God, apparently this is the answer to all my questions, Kila still loves Arai, ah Kila.
This doesn't seem possible, because Kila never told how Kila felt with Arai, Kila's last story about Arai two years ago, the third semester in college, she only told me that Arai had a beautiful and graceful lover, well what did I do less sensitive, there is no streak of disappointment there is no jealousy there is Akila happy, smiling with dimples, I'm also happy to hear it. It's funny how Akila can lie to her own feelings, close it so tightly that I'm a friend who is almost 24 hours with her and doesn't understand Kila's feelings for Arai, only on this blog Kila devotes everything even without the name of a character but I know it's all about Kila .
The next day ...
Akila was tidying her hair which she had pigtailed one in the back when I approached her, the basis of a kid already as big as this is still pigtailing hair like a middle school student. "Where are you going, Kila?" I asked him. "I want to go to the bookstore, he said there is a new novel, do you want to come or not?" Answered Kila. I think maybe this is the right time to ask for an explanation from Kila for what I questioned last night, "OK, I come, but after that stop by the cafe we are subscribed to, I miss me hanging out there."
"Yes, you're already there getting ready, I don't want to bring your model creepy guy to the bookstore" grinned Kila, I threw a pillow but she managed to avoid, bad! "Okay wait!" I rushed to the room.
After walking around the bookstore that Kila meant we finally arrived at the cafe I meant. I can't wait to interrogate Kila about this, "Kila, I want to ask seriously, but you have to answer honestly." I said.
Kila laughed while sipping the cold cappuccino "What the hell are you doing, Nel from yesterday, the default was innate haha."
"When I'm serious, I don't want to joke anymore." I began to upset uneasy.
"Okay okay beautiful lady, please ask, what the heck is this Nela, are you sick?" Kila holds my forehead but immediately I tepis.
"Do you still like Arai?" Gotcha! Kila choked, coughing until her cheeks were red.
"Haah? Haha, you're kidding, Nel, you know he already has a girl. ”Kila calmed herself, ah Kila, you really lied to your feelings, but this time no longer.
"You don't need to lie, Kila. I've read all the contents of your blog, geez, I just realized everything now, why didn't you ever tell me? " My smile. When silent, then ...
"What should I answer, Nel?" Still with an annoying face.
"You have to tell me the truth! You have to, don't use a bargain! "
"Okay, okay, ahaha, you know yourself. My Nel is not an easy boong, especially with Lu, I dodged it too, haha" what are you trying to do when I laugh like that, in fact he managed to deceive me in these three years.
"I am still in love with Arai, yes yes the love from the past, which I tried to forget, but in fact it only made me really know that actually I really love Arai, not Frans nor other."
I was surprised to hear that, "have you ever tried to tell your feelings to Arai, Kil?" I asked.
"No, haha. Once I did the code, first when I broke up with Frans, Arai was really like fishing, so I could remember my past with Arai. But that's how it is ... "
"So what?" I'm increasingly curious.
"I see, after I remember all the things that had happened between me and Arai, she actually avoided me, I don't know what this is about my feelings, what is clear is that Arai started to move away from me. He was upset too, accompanied me, comforted me, but after that he disappeared ... "I finished the rest of the Cappuccino.
"And just shut up?"
"Yeah, I really do what if it's already like that, you understand me, Nel, I'm not someone who likes to force people."
"But Kila, Arai doesn't know how you really feel?"
Kila burst out laughing. "Never mind Arai, you don't know my best friend, right? Ha ha"
"Ah yes, you never told me this." Kila and I were both speechless. "Then what do you want to do, Kila?" I broke the silence.
"Well, that's nothing, haha. I really enjoy all this, love in silence, love without anyone knowing hehe. "
"How come you can? Akila, who I know is someone who is always expressive with what is designed, if I like to say I like it if you don't say it, why is it like this now? "
"Nel, you know since I was with Frans. I tried to be a good lover, who knows how well what is clear is that Frans is happy, I'm happy too, so is Arai, as long as he is happy ..."
We were both speechless, enjoying our respective thoughts. Then..
"Actually, I've tried to tell my feelings to Arai, Nel."
"Continue?"
Kila sighed. "Arai can't believe it, said Arai there's no way I still love Arai, because I keep that much when I leave Frans." Now I see how hurt Akila I know. "And you know not Nel, just when I was immediately discouraged, I don't know what to say hehe especially when I suddenly become upset because of Arai is not Frans, he said this to me Nel 'Kila, I know your feelings, I often get upset every time you want, remembering my past was still the same as you, but instead of life it must move forward, Kil? Let a little upset and glance at the past, but don't overdo it, we look at the future, okay? ’He said that, Nel. What should I try? Haha ”there is a wound that I heard in Kila's voice, but I can't do much either.
"That means you have to move on Kil ..." Actually, I'm not sure about my suggestion just now, it's been three years and Kila is still stuck, is moving on that difficult for Kila?
Kila changed her sitting position, this time more relaxed, leaning on the sofa and eyes looking at the ceiling of the cafe.
"I'm not the type of person who likes to do what you call 'move on' Nel, I only believe in destiny, if now I'm still stuck like this maybe my destiny is like this, I can only live in the past Arai, not for Arai's future, sorry for me, even though from the beginning until now my heart is still pointing at him not being able to move. " When I cried, the first tears I saw after the last time I lost Frans.
"Kila, patient .." I tried to embrace Kila now.
"Yes, I'm patient, but now I really feel hopeless and can't do anything Nel for my own heart, because next month ..." Kila, slowly asking "next month why Kila?"
Kila crying, really crying, crying, I get him tissue and wait for Kila to calm down. "Sorry, Nel, I'm whiny", "It's okay Kil, you've been holding this alone for too long" without even feeling my tears dripping too.
"Next month Arai will get married, Nel. I got the invitation, just this morning. " Feeling struck by lightning I heard it, suddenly I felt the pain felt by my best friend, I hugged Kila more closely I could feel her body shake. "I don't know what to be happy about. I'm sad to hear all this. Nel, I'm happy because finally Arai found his happiness, but I'm sad, I'm not sure if I can see them living happily with their children later, while here I still have extreme love. For Arai, I don't know what to do ... "
I'm confused too, after all Kila my friend, we are like one soul in two bodies. When Kila is like this I don't know what to say, it must be hard, it is impossible for Kila to damage Arai's steady relationship to a more serious level, Arai has the right to be happy. But I think everything is not too late, I can still do something before finally Arai makes a promise in front of the prince, I can still stop because I believe Arai has a feeling that is not much different for Kila.
Finally, after our conversation, Kila and I decided to go home because the evening had already left us. Arriving at home I did something crazy, unbeknownst to Kila I sent an email to Arai, because all I knew I could only do this for my best friend, Kila.