Hello,
Guys let's face it marriage is hard, but not impossible. And love is real but overrated. However love always should be a foundation for every marriage. However the work does not stop there.
But apparently people go into marriage for so many other unhealthy reasons. It is a sad truth, yet it is a rampant reality. sometimes it makes me wonder why do people go that far, and I do not get my hands around that question. I'm a strong believer that whatever I do in a long term and it costs me, energy, time and other valuable resources I must like it first before I do. Whether it is relationship or work, I want to enjoy what I do, even if it may be hard or complicated.
As I have said love should be a principle thing to get man and a woman into marriage, but it is not the only thing. Love may bring you together in marriage but to stay in marriage if you make it that far you may need more than love. Love is like a talent, it needs work, relationship skills and other disciplines. A talent goes no where without work. It doesn't matter how big the talent may appear without hard work and discipline you achieve nothing. The most talent people I have ever seen or heard of, they work hard more than anybody else.
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To survive and thrive in marriage you need more than love and active testosterone and estrogen, these two hormones may light the fire but without firewood to keep it burning, the fire soon dies. These hormones are strong but they cannot keep the marriage together.
Marriage must be built on love, but love is not hormones or feelings, love is a big responsibility, it cannot be built on hormonal reactions. And Marriage is complex it needs more than love it needs your head. Marriages that stand the test of time are built on more than love.
Their built with time, maturity, understanding, patience, strong and healthy individuals and hard hard work. The most important factor is the individuals involved. Most of the dysfunctional marriages or failed, lack of love is not the culprit.
The ignorance of what it takes to make marriage work is the culprit, though it is also not the only thing.
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Love is cheap, it comes natural you do not need to work to love, but you certainly need work to remain in love. Marriage is not cheap, the investment you need to make marriage work is more than money. those of you who have played this game for sometime and have been successful you know the rules. You know the price that should be paid to keep it working.
The good book says, "the wise woman builds her house, but with her own hands the foolish one tears it down". What builds marriage and what destroys it have nothing to do with love. But her wisdom, who she is as a person, how she behaves and how she handles things. Again love is overrated in making marriage work.
Another quote from the good book, " Men dwell with your wives according to knowledge/understanding ". What do you think will happen is you do the opposite? It's simple you won't be able to dwell together. Men your head determines the success and the failure of your marriage, I know it take two, but it must begin with one. For marriage to work man should let your love follow your head and not vice versa. Love makes your reasoning weak, your perception twisted and your judgement poor, but reasoning will make your love strong. Love must be informed.
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People who are mature and informed in their love, build better marriages and relationships. Love can never replace who your are. And who you are determines the success and the destiny of everything in your life including your love relationship (marriage).
Conclusion;
What do you think is love overly rated in marriage? I know marriage is complex issues, its solutions are not one size fits all, but tailor made. Nevertheless do you think is love Overrated? Feel free to add your opinion.
Thank you for your time.