Where I am coming from
What Inspired me to write this, was an email from my Dad today. He offered me an unexpected gift and it really took me by surprise. The feelings that arose reminded me of an instance that happened about a week ago, I was reclining on my bed when a sudden sensation arose in me. I felt a pleasant ache in my chest, and these words came into mind "I Love my Dad". Such a joyful feeling arose in me, I hadn't even thought of my dad in weeks or months and then this spontaneously arose. Tears came as my body expressed it's happiness unashamedly. My heart opens more to life, and I learn to give gratitude for what I have always had.
Let me give you some context to this story. I'm not a very 'good child', in the sense that I don't regularly keep in touch with my parents. The very people who devoted themselves to raising me and nurturing me towards what I have become today.
In part it's just a lack of commonalities, we live in very different worlds. Something in me doesn't want to disturb the peace with what my parents probably see as my nonsensical life choices. They are peaceful folk who are happy with their way of doing things, my life has been a series of experiments and failures and I have ended up in another place entirely.
The other thing that allows this distance, is feeling ok in myself to face life in my own way. There is a strong sense of individuality and self reliance, which both my parents possess, and has thankfully been passed on to me. I can say this of my brother as well (my only sibling), all of us in this small family have a sense of stability and grounding that enables us to stand alone and trust ourselves.
There's an underlying and unspoken love and trust with my parents. This is why I don't run everything by them, I know that they are there, and they know I am here. We can sense each other, and they have left me to do things my way and learn from experience. Also I'm 31 and have long since flown the coop 😂😂😂.
I wanted to write this post to talk about my dad's great qualities which have been impressed onto me.
My Dad in a Nutshell
He has an excellent sense of humor, there is always a simple joke waiting to jump out.
He is very honest and hard working, and put in many years steady work to keep my Brother and I comfortable and educated.
He's a simple man, who doesn't have extravagant needs. He's happy with instant coffee and dried food as he takes a 5 day hike through the wilderness
Very methodical and practical, he has a huge amount of common sense.
Hasn't wasted one minute of his life looking for approval, is self validating and motivating.
Has a quiet and contemplative side, he's intelligent and loves to read books and do Sudoku (yes very dad pastime).
My dad is no nonsense (unless he is joking around) and very common sense and practical. He's honest and stable, and tolerant of other people. Life somehow arranged this perfectly for a human being like me, who grew into an indulgent and highly emotional young person, with a tendency for extremes and little grasp on real world things. I have benefited greatly from the passive effect of those qualities, and I have never been forced to be something that I wasn't.
So thanks Dad, for just being you.
Probably the most important quality, that both my Mother and Father have bestowed - is that sense of individualism. A deep trust in my self, that life is something that I need to negotiate on my own terms. That independence has grown into a fire in me, and it gives me the confidence to thrust my deepest aspects out on to the internet. I'm incredibly grateful for what my Mum (thats kiwi for Mom 😉) and Dad have given me emotionally and mentally. It's a sense of togetherness that has seen me through some rough times.
I'm still here to tell the tale, and as I look out into my life as it unfolds, those deep roots continue to stabilize me as I branch out into new and exciting things which might frighten a less secure human being. None of us get the 'ideal' childhood, but we all get something that was just right for us - some kind of lesson or gift that helps us grow and balance ourselves in this life.
Gratitude
Love
Abundance
