Hey Steem fam, how goes it? I hope y'all are having a better time than me, because I have been a slug.
My posting often gets spotty (for me) when I'm having a harder-than-usual time of it, because there's nothing really to say except "I feel awful," or "I stayed in bed today," which isn't exactly fascinating blog fodder, hey?
But I'm being honest, because this is largely what my life is like. I tried eating today for the first time since my last post in the Steemit Sandwich Contest, which was two days ago. Don't knock people posting photos of food on the internet - otherwise, some of us wouldn't know how to answer the question, "when was the last time you ate?"
I got this far into the big (only that big because I had an awkward amount of ground beef left that I needed to cook before it went bad) burger I made and I just couldn't force myself any more. I am one of those depressive people who don't eat during the worst; other people depression-eat. So today I ate a quarter of a burger; two days ago I ate a sammich; two days before that I ate a chimichanga (I remember that because I took a photo of it in case I blogged, but I didn't blog. See? It's my food log here. LOL). I am still a healthy weight though; sometimes when I have spans like this I wonder how I'm not smaller, but I guess that's a 40 year old's metabolism. Makes me wonder if I'm a healthy weight and eating every two days, how people are supposed to eat normally and be a healthy weight. Because I don't recommend The Phe Diet. Maybe it's counterbalancing the excessive amount of lying down.
Yuan helped me fold laundry, on one of the rare moments I was sitting up. And Maggie let me cut some knots out of her fur tonight! She's feeling really relaxed if she lets me ninja snip those knots. Normally, she doesn't like me combing, brushing, snipping, any grooming at all. And don't get me started about trying to help her wash. Oh no. Girlfriend does not put up with that hooman nonsense. She lets me pet her belly, but put a brush in my hand and suddenly I'm Dr. Evil up in here.
actual mental image Maggie has of anyone with a grooming tool in hand
The other day I made a quart of chocolate syrup and did about 1/3 of a load of dishes. That was my productive time.
the blackness of my soul in a jar
bubbly soul
I finished the second half of (reading!) a novel I started months ago. Having the focus to read is rare, so that felt productive too, even if it was lying in bed still. I finished it. My accomplishments are small. When depression first hit, all I did was lie in bed and read. I was in college, so my dorm-mates thought I was studying. Nope. I was reading James Clavell and Jean M. Auel novels. Oh, and Anne Rice. I was heavy into vampires in college.
Youthful image of Yuan to tell you that he was named after a vampire in the stories I wrote in college, lol
youthful image of Maggie to tell you that she has been taking good care of me and has barely left my side the past two days, snuggling up to me in bed. Yuan has not been very happy about that turn of events, as bed snuggling is normally His Job, but I appreciate my Maggie time
Other than that, um, yeah ...I was in bed staring at the back of my eyelids. Today is the first time I've used the laptop in a few days, even, because "laptop" was too much effort. And I've been freezing my ass off and whining about it piteously. I have no tolerance for cold. There has been a heating pad in my bed. And a cat, of course.
This one! (also an old pic)
Be good, Steemit! <3
That minnow your mama always warned you about
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