I disliked it not only because I considered it too old-fashioned, but also because of the heat it emitted. How could anyone feel comfortable using such a lamp to read?
I was not yet ten, but already a smart and intelligent JSS1 girl. I was caring and fun to be with, yet I was also careless about my friends and belongings.
These were just aspects of my character, and I couldn't understand how they managed to coexist. But each of those words could be used to describe me back then.
Because of my friendly nature, I attracted a lot of people, both classmates and seniors. Unfortunately, most of these friends brought me trouble, and it was one of these troubles that led me to resort to using a lantern for studying.
Even though I was careless, I always took good care of my belongings, especially my reading lamp. So, most of the things that broke or went missing weren't entirely my fault.
It was either the fault of those who borrowed my stuff or someone accidentally running into me, causing damage to anything I had in my hands. My mom didn't believe any of these stories, so by the end of the second term, after spoiling about five reading lamps, she got me a lantern.
"Jesus Christ! Mom!" I had screamed when she pulled out the lantern from her bag on visiting day. The day before, I had pleaded with her on the phone to remember to buy me a lamp. I was even expecting a small touch-light because she sounded so paranoid. A lantern was the last thing on my mind.
"This one is better. You'll just have to be careful not to break the globe. And your friends won't borrow it too much because it's a lantern," Mom said.
"Oh, Mom, you should have just gotten me a small touch-light. I promised
to be more careful with my lamp this time, right?" I said, trying to hold back tears.
"I know, you still have to be careful with this one. I forgot to buy extra globes," she said, giving me a look that said, "If you break this globe, you're on your own (OYO)."
"Alright, Mom, I'll take good care of it. I guess this is just temporary," I said, teasingly smiling. My mom took the time to show me how to put kerosene in the lantern, how to remove the globe, and how to light it. I practiced the process over and over again. I felt a bit embarrassed when I saw a junior high student looking at me with amusement. I didn't see what was so funny about having a lantern.
Even though I wasn't happy about it, I accepted it with a grateful heart. What if she had refused to buy any lamp for me? I would have been constantly borrowing other people's lamps whenever I wanted to read late at night or use the bathroom.
Just like my mom said, my friends and senior students never asked to borrow my lantern. I was managing it comfortably until I had to clean the globe.
I had never washed a lantern globe before, so I was quite nervous. The globe is so fragile, and I didn't want to break it.
I confided in my friend Favour, who always seemed to know everything. She was the most careful person I knew, even her steps were calculated. She attributed her maturity to her grandmother, with whom she grew up.
"Come on, let's go and wash it," she said confidently, leading the way with my lantern. I followed silently, my mind consumed with the fear of losing my globe.
"Favour, you know my mom won't buy me another lamp if I lose this one. I've already disappointed her so much. I won't be able to face her if I can't take care of a simple lantern," I said as we settled beside the girls' communal tap.
"I know. Phyna, you're just too calm for my liking. You let people break your things without consequences," she remarked.
"That's not true. I only let them borrow it when they ask, and accidents happen. What am I supposed to do?" I asked, watching her remove the globe without much thought.
"You should ask them to replace it. Yes, you have to be strict so people will respect you," she advised, pouring a handful of detergent into the bucket.
“First, you wash the globe inside a bucket, just in case it slips from your hand. Use detergent, not soap, and a soft sponge," she said, swiftly going through the process. I squatted opposite her, admiring her beauty and demeanor. For a moment, I wished I could be like her - mature, composed, and fearless.
I was still lost in thought when I heard a loud crash, “crraaaang!” accompanied by Favour's scream. My mouth opened, but no sound came out. My head started spinning as I saw the shattered pieces of my globe on the tiled floor lying like flimsy ice blocks. Everything around me seemed strange and dreamy, and I desperately wished to wake up. I pinched myself repeatedly.
I walked closer, picked up a piece of the globe, and turned to Favour, asking her a question she probably didn't expect. "Are we dreaming, or is this reality?"
"I'm so sorry. I was trying to dry the globe when it slipped from my hand," she said as tears streamed down my cheeks.
"Don't worry, it's not your fault," I reassured her as we gathered the pieces of the globe. "How can I blame you for failing something I couldn't even attempt?" I muttered.
I couldn't read during evening prep. I kept wondering why I'm so reckless. Maybe because I'm not the one buying them? I need to change, I told myself. So I grabbed my journal and listed all the lamps I had, circling the lantern as the last lamp from Mum. I decided to buy my lamp with my savings.
The following day, I talked to Aunty Eve, the matron's assistant from my mom's village.
"You want to use all your savings to purchase a lamp?" she asked.
"Yes, ma'am," I replied.
"Alright, I'll get you the lamp before the weekend," she said, and before the weekend, I had my new lamp.
I made a conscious effort to take care of it and my belongings. I don't know how I did it, but I managed to use that lamp for two years without any major damage.
I was very happy I could change, but now I guess My mum was even happier. Because She always reminds me of it when I'm too conscientious about my belongings.