It's often said that "experience is the best teacher".
And seeing this week's contest topics; that leaves a question in my mind as far as the quote is concerned. A child that does not heed to the mother's advice always tends to face and dance to the rhythm of the music that life plays for her in due time, both negatively and positively.
I often love to use my experience as far as disobedience is concerned, mine might not be being pregnancy, but there are things that i have done that i ever live to regret and if I'm given a second chance such mistakes would never occur again, but in all, i had to dance to the rhythm of the music that i put or play for myself, and that has become a lesson to me, and i have something to tell to the younger generation as well as my children, that there are repercussions for every act of disobedience, or stubbornness.
But in all these, we have our will power to reject or accept what comes to us either good or bad. But in my own case, I got to learn from my mother, she allowed me to experience it, face the repercussions myself, but still she never abandoned me, though it was annoying, shameful, brought regrets, guilts, depression, disappointment, heartbreaks etc. but still she never abandoned me, she still draws me back, I believe and know that will be my reaction if such happens.
Adolescent is a stage in a young girl's life where she wants to explore both the negative and the positive aspects of life, they become more inquisitive about things, though some get influenced by their peers, classmates and even friends, and such cases when she refuses to heed to the mother's advice, she will definitely come home when she has experience that aspect of life she so desire, hence her return wouldn't always be the same way, but she will learn.
Though it will bring shame to the family, but she will have to dance to the rhythm of the music she has played for herself that is by keeping the pregnancy that would be the result of her disobedience, or stubbornness. Although it will bring so much hurt, disappointment, regret, pains and disgrace, but the deed has been done, we'll not abandon our child because she refuses to heed to our advice.
Because it's at that verge that she has learnt her lesson, and she will live in regrets, shock, denial, disappointment, anxiety, worry, stress, guilt, shame, self-blame, fear for the future and well-being, emotional turmoil and conflict, heartbreaks, depression e.t.c so I believe in handling such cases, we ought to be very careful, because if not properly managed by the parents could affect the child psychologically.
And any decisions of the parent to abandon the child might bring other more delegate errors, such as abortion attempt which might claim her life, or brings about permanent damage to her womb, or other complicated medical issues, suicide attempt etc because at that phase she needs someone to confide in, and when she finds none, she tends to rely on anyone, thus when she confides on the wrong person, and she might be advice wrongly.
So amidst the pains, shame, disappointment faced, we can still forgive her, discipline her, and take her back, rather than abandoning them, because abandoning them might bring a negative outcome worse than what was done already. So I believe that, she has learnt her lesson, and she has taken corrections for her life.
Although having a teenage girl pregnant is quite challenging, because our African parents believe that, if a young teenager gets pregnant, they have to destroy their future, although, it could be true if the child is abandoned by her parents, lack of financial support and care which can also be a criteria, reasons being that she now has responsibilities to cater for herself as well as the baby, it becomes worse if she is also rejected by the young man who impregnates her.
Mother ought to also understand that pregnancy is a challenge, not a failure. Though it hurts, she should be able to forgive her and take her back, because the mother plays a vital role in supporting them throughout that phase, through open communication, empathy, because with their help it helps to strengthen them as well, also rather than focusing on the deeds, problems and criticise, it's better to support them through that phase because they have learnt their lessons, and let their future also be secured.
Though it's difficult, easier said than done, but I believe it's possible and it's the right thing to do, though i kick against teenage pregnancy, every young teenager ought to listen to their parents, because they understand life more than them.
