My mom used to say something that “Ajumobi ko kan ti anu,” which means “sometimes it is not people you are expecting favor from that will do you the favor.” I have received kindness from a total stranger before, which amazed me because of how bad my country is now, but then I will be sharing one of the unexpected kindnesses I received and, of course, the bad treatment I got from people I never thought would treat me badly.
I am not the type that expects too much from people because I was raised to always do my best and leave the rest, so I am used to doing my thing without expecting from others, but if I get someone to help, I wouldn’t reject it because there is nothing bad in getting help.
So it happened some years back when I was saving up for my shop. I had tried my best, and of course my husband had given me all he could, but still the money wasn’t complete, so I decided to settle for less instead of not getting the shop at all. I decided to collect a small shop compared to the bigger one I was planning for before.
On that fateful day, I was at home scrolling on Facebook, and then I came across one quote: “Never give up,” so I screenshotted it and then posted it on my WhatsApp status.
Some hours later, a big brother of mine messaged me to ask what was going on with me, so I explained the shop issue to him, and he told me to give him some days; maybe he could see something to help me with.
This is a person I never met before, I met him through my husband on the former platform we were both using and he always asked of me from my husband so one day I just collected his number from my husband and then greeted him since it was his birthday and he always asked of me.
I never expected anything from him because everyone has their own to deal with, but he surprised me with some amount of money that I wouldn’t want to mention. I told my husband, and he was surprised as well because they only talk online; they haven’t met either, and that was how I could get the bigger space.
Meanwhile, there are people that I have known for years that promised to help but blocked my contact when they noticed I needed their help. I had lost hope already when I noticed the people I knew and was expecting help from blocked me, but who am I to question them? After all, I didn’t keep any money with them, but the only thing that pained me was the fact that some ignored my calls and texts, while some blocked my contacts just because I asked them for help, which I was willing to return the favor when I am settled in the shop.
I felt bad, and their actions crashed the relationship we had. If they had told me they didn't have it, I would have understood them instead of promising and then blocking my contact to avoid me. It is not fair to promise someone something when you know you wouldn’t do that thing. I don’t promise people because I know it is a debt, and it could spoil our relationship if I fail to keep the promise.