If someone ever asked me what the fastest way to get me pissed off is, I wouldn’t even need to think twice. You see, I’m actually a very calm person. I mind my business, I avoid drama, and I genuinely try to see the best in people. But there’s one thing that flips a switch in me instantly—and that’s when someone tries to make me or someone else look stupid just so they can come out looking like a saint.
You know the type of people I’m talking about. They’ll say something sly, disrespectful, or degrading in a group setting, and when you react, they act all shocked like, “Ah ah, it was just a joke now.” Or worse, they’ll start painting you as the dramatic one, like you’re overreacting. That kind of behavior drives me insane.
One example that really gets under my skin is when someone tries to ridicule a person in front of others, especially with disrespectful comments, and then tries to laugh it off like it’s all fun and games. Something like, “Shea nah sugar daddy you dey find?” or “Look at this one, always forming, who even likes you?” said loud enough for everyone to hear, followed by fake laughter. The aim isn’t to be funny—it’s to embarrass. It’s to throw someone under the bus and walk away clean, acting like you didn’t mean harm. That kind of passive-aggressive bullying isn’t funny. It’s disrespectful, cowardly, and it tells me everything I need to know about you.
What makes it worse is that people like this often know what they’re doing. They pick their moments. They know who they’re saying it in front of. They know when to switch up and play innocent. They’ll throw the insult and when people react, they’ll start acting clueless. “Me? I was only joking oh. You’re taking it too seriously.” Nah. That’s manipulation, and I see straight through it.
I’m the type of person who believes that respect is a two-way street. You don’t have to like someone, but basic human decency costs nothing. There’s no reason to embarrass or belittle someone just to make yourself look funny or important. And if you have an issue with someone, say it with your chest—not through backhanded comments or public humiliation. If you can’t have a respectful conversation, then stay silent.
What really irritates me is how some people will say things they know they’d never accept if the roles were reversed. But because they’re trying to entertain a group, or maybe gain clout or laugh at someone’s expense, they forget boundaries. And when you check them, they act like you’re the one with the problem. It’s so annoying because people like that never take accountability. They never own up to their words or actions. Instead, they twist things to make themselves look innocent. That’s the part that gets me boiling.
I think what hurts most about that kind of behavior is how it makes others feel—especially people who might not have the confidence to defend themselves in the moment. You say something like that in public, and you’ve planted a seed of shame in someone else just to get a cheap laugh or deflect attention from your own insecurities. That’s not funny. That’s just mean.
So yeah, if you really want to piss me off, try making someone look foolish to protect your own image. Try throwing shade and acting like you didn’t. Try acting like you’re always the victim, the saint, the one who “meant no harm,” while someone else is left looking stupid or feeling small. That right there? That’s the quickest way to get on my bad side—and once you’re there, it’s hard to come back.
Respect people. Don’t use others as a punchline. And if you say something out of line, be bold enough to own it. Don’t try to flip the script.
That’s all I ask.
