Zdravo Hiver-i🫶🏻
Nešto u čemu sam nekada nalazila spas, beg iz svih svojih problema, da samo malo skrenem misli sa tih loših stvari što mi se dešava, da li kod kuće🏡, tada u školi🏫👩🏻🏫 znala sam da će mi biti bolje čim odem na trening.🤸🏻♀️
U šestom razredu osnovne škole upisala sam se na gimnastiku. Iskreno, više sam se upisala jer sam mislila da ću se izvući, tačnije da ću da porastem malo a ne zauvek da budem ovako mala😭. A i pre svega moja srednja sestra Erika je isto trenirala gimnastiku pa sam želela biti dobra gimnastičarka kao i ona. Erika mi je uvek nekako bila idol za sve u životu.🤩
Kada sam počela da treniram, nekako mi je bilo teško da se uklopim sa decom, ja sam nova, oni su svi tu već dugo, i znate kako to ide već.🙄
Hello Hiver's🫶🏻
Something in which I used to find salvation, an escape from all my problems, to take my mind off the bad things that were happening to me, whether at home🏡 or at school🏫👩🏻🏫, I knew that I would get better as soon as I went to training.🤸🏻♀️
In the sixth grade of elementary school, I enrolled in gymnastics. Honestly, I enrolled more because I thought I would get away with it, or rather that I would grow a little and not be this small forever.😭 And above all, my middle sister Erica also trained in gymnastics, so I wanted to be a good gymnast like her. Erika has always somehow been my idol for everything in my life.🤩
When I started training, it was kind of hard for me to fit in with the kids, I'm new, they've all been there for a long time, and you know how it goes.🙄
Trenirala sam dve nedelje, tri, i saopštio nam je trener da će takmičenje biti kod nas u Vršcu i da ćemo mi biti domaćini, da će dolaziti da se takmiče i iz drugim mesta kod nas i počeo je da nas priprema.🫡
Došao je dan takmičenja, i istakla sam se za prekratko vreme, osvojila sam drugo mesto🥈 i bila sam preponosna na sebe s obzirom na to da sam veoma kratko tu.
Trenirala sam par godina, i zaista sam počela i lepo da se uklapam, i trener me je uglavnom vodio na svaka takmičenja gde god da se održavalo, osvajala sam i pehare🏆 koji su u klubu, ali moj se svet srušio u samo jednom sistematskom pregledu.🩺
I trained for two or three weeks, and the coach told us that the competition would be held here in Vršac and that we would be the hosts, that they would come to compete with us from other places, and he started preparing us.🫡
The day of the competition came, and I stood out in a very short time, I won second place🥈 and I was very proud of myself considering that I have been there for a very short time.
I trained for a couple of years, and I really started to fit in well, and the coach mostly took me to every competition wherever it was held, I also won the cups🏆 that are in the club, but my world collapsed in just one systematic review.🩺
Trebao se obaviti jedan sistematski pregled pred školsku ekskurziju, i dok su slušali kako dišem🩺, doktor je zapazio moje držanje tela, i rekao mi je da posetim ortopeda i fizijatra.
Dobila sam upute📑, i kada sam majci rekla da doktor misli da imam problem sa kičmom da moram da se proverim, majka je više mislila kako je doktor samo hteo da malo više radi taj dan, kako sam ja gimnastičarka, uspešan sportista i da nema šanse da se sa mnom nešto dešava.🤨
Međutim, jedan dan je majka zapazila moje držanje tela, da malo krivo stojim i odvela me je ortopedu i fizijatru.
Kada sam uradila snimanje kičme🩻, i sve provere koje sam imala, ukazalo se na iskrivljenje kičme, skolioza. Imala sam tada iskrivljenje 30° i ortoped mi je rekao da idem na fizikalnu terapiju i da dođem na kontrolu nakon mesec dana.
A systematic examination was to be done before the school excursion, and while they were listening to my breathing🩺, the doctor noticed my posture and told me to see an orthopedist and a physiatrist.
I received instructions📑, and when I told my mother that the doctor thinks I have a problem with my spine and that I need to get checked out, my mother thought more that the doctor just wanted to work a little harder that day, that I was a gymnast, a successful athlete, and that there was no chance that something is happening to me.🤨
However, one day my mother noticed my body posture, that I was standing a little crooked, and she took me to an orthopedist and a physiatrist.
When I did the spine scan🩻, and all the checks I had, it was pointed out that the spine was crooked, scoliosis. At the time, I had a 30° curvature and the orthopedist told me to go to physical therapy and to come for a check-up after a month.
Radila sam fizikalnu terapiju u bolnici🏥 i kod kuće mesec dana, otišla sam na prvu kontrolu i imala sam šta da čujem.
Meni se kičma naglo iskrivila još više, i već nije bilo smisla za fizikalnom terapijom već mi je bila zakazana hitna operacija u Beogradu na ortopediji🏥. Kičma mi se iskrivila naglo na 50°. Organi🫀 su počeli da mi se pomeraju u stranu i već me je bilo sramota da izađem bilo gde. Jedna noga mi je bila duža jedna kraća, desni kuk mi je bio previše izražen, tako da nisam mogla ništa usko da obučem, ni usku haljinu👗, majčicu👚 niti bilo sta slično. Za maturu sam morala tražiti neku haljinu koja neće dozvoliti da mi se kuk istakne pa sam uglavnom tražila haljinu sa nekom velikom mašnom.🎀
I did physical therapy in the hospital🏥 and at home for a month, I went for the first check-up and I had something to hear.
My spine suddenly twisted even more, and there was no point in physical therapy, I was scheduled for an emergency orthopedic surgery in Belgrade🏥. My spine suddenly twisted 50°. My organs🫀 started to move to the side and I was already ashamed to go out anywhere. One of my legs was longer and one was shorter, my right hip was too prominent, so I couldn't wear anything tight, not a tight dress👗, a t-shirt👚 or anything like that. For graduation, I had to look for a dress that wouldn't allow my hip to stand out, so I mostly looked for a dress with a big bow.🎀
Kada je došao dan da odem za Beograd, imala sam ogroman strah, pauzirala sam trening, takmičenja, nisam bila svesna gde idem, šta će mi raditi, kako će mi biti, tako reći išla sam glupa tamo🤯. Nisam znala niti očekivala bolove kroz koje ću prolaziti.😓
Majka nije smela da leži pored mene jer nisam bila toliko mala, pa je majka morala da putuje svaki dan iz Vršca do Beograda da bude sa mnom.🚎
When the day came for me to go to Belgrade, I had a huge fear, I paused training, competitions, I wasn't aware of where I was going, what I was going to do, how I was going to be, so to speak, I went there stupid🤯. I did not know or expect the pains I would go through.😓
My mother was not allowed to lie next to me because I was not that small, so my mother had to travel every day from Vršac to Belgrade to be with me.🚎
Dan kada su me pripremili za operaciju, kada su me stavili na krevet, golu, pokrivenu, samo sam videla oko sebe 100 doktora👩🏻⚕️👨🏼⚕️, svetla i veliku iglu💉 od koje sam se samo uspavala. Dali su mi anesteziju, i od tog momenta se više ničega ne sećam, bila sam u baš čvrstom snu.😴
Kada sam se probudila, nisam bila bas svesna svega, anestezija je još uticala na mene i nisam ni bol osećala, niti sam osećala noge, kičmu, a bila sam mnogo žedna. Videla sam svog doktora pored mene, svuda monitore🖥 oko sebe i kako čujem otkucaje srca🫀 sa monitora, puno doktora, i druge pacijente.
Bila sam u šok sobi, i to mi je bilo najgore iskreno, jer nit sam znala gde mi je mama, da li je došla za Beograd, kada ću ustati, počela sam posle nekoliko sati osećati nenormalne bolove, mnogo sam bila žedna a nisam smela dobiti ni gutljaj vode.
Posle "1001" sati⏳️ su došli po mene i rekli da me vode u poluintezivnu sobu.
The day they prepared me for the operation, when they put me on the bed, naked, covered, I just saw around me 100 doctors👩🏻⚕️👨🏼⚕️, lights and a big needle💉 that just made me fall asleep. They gave me anesthesia, and from that moment I don't remember anything anymore, I was in a very deep sleep.😴
When I woke up, I wasn't really aware of everything, the anesthesia was still affecting me and I didn't even feel pain, I couldn't feel my legs, my spine, and I was very thirsty. I saw my doctor next to me, monitors🖥 everywhere around me and how I could hear the heartbeat🫀 from the monitor, lots of doctors, and other patients.
I was in the shock room, and that was the worst for me honestly, because I didn't even know where my mom was, if she had come to Belgrade, when I would get up, after a few hours I started to feel abnormal pains, I was very thirsty and I didn't dare get even a sip of water.
After "1001" hours⏳️, they came for me and said they were taking me to a semi-intensive room.
Dok su me gurali na tom krevetu, videla sam kod lifta majku u suzama i samo sam joj rekla da sam dobro i da ne brine.
Stavili su me u tu sobu, uglavnom su bile starije žene, i jedno malo dete. Nisam mogla da hodam, bila sam zarobljena u krevetu, nisam smela da jedem niti išta da pijem💧. Bolelo me je celo telo, nisam znala šta da radim, počela sam da besnim što sam nemoćna i ne znam šta da radim, i mami sam samo rekla "Mama, ovo samo Bog može da izdrži" ona se samo okrenula i počela je da plače.
Imala sam osećaj da prolazi kroz istu bol koju i ja samo duhovno. A mene je i duša bolela što je ona morala da me gleda takvu.
Prošlo je dva, tri dana, fizioterapeuti su dolazili da me polako stavljaju na noge i da hodam pomoću pomagala za hodanje.🩼
Bila sam uporna i forsirala sam se samo da što pre ustajem iz kreveta sama, da šetam.... Primala sam morfijum 💊💉zbog tih nenormalnih bolova i jedino sam tako mogla spavati.💤
While they were pushing me on that bed, I saw my mother in tears at the elevator and I just told her that I was fine and not to worry.
They put me in that room, mostly older women and one small child. I couldn't walk, I was trapped in bed, I wasn't allowed to eat or drink anything💧. My whole body hurt, I didn't know what to do, I started to rage because I was powerless and I didn't know what to do, and I just said to my mom "Mom, only God can endure this" she just turned around and started crying.
I had the feeling that he was going through the same pain that I was, only spiritually. And my soul also hurt that she had to look at me like that.
Two or three days passed, the physiotherapists came to slowly put me on my feet and to walk with the aid of a walking aid.🩼
I was persistent and only forced myself to get out of bed as soon as possible, to walk... I received morphine💊💉 because of these abnormal pains and that was the only way I could sleep.
Jedno veče, nije me popustio bol i nisam mogla da spavam, plakala sam😪 i molila da mi sestre donesu neki lek💊, nisam mogla da ustanem još sama iz kreveta, nisam mogla da idem do njih nego sam iz sobe vikala, međutim nisu me čule, ili su spavale ili ih nije bilo briga. Jedna starija baka👵🏻 je čak ustala i pomoću pomagala🩼 je išla do njih da bi mi nešto dali, ali nisu došli. Tada kada sam izdržala shvatila sam da sam najgore prošla i psihički i fizički.
One evening, the pain didn't ease and I couldn't sleep, I cried😪 and begged the nurses to bring me some medicine💊, I couldn't even get out of bed by myself, I couldn't go to them, but I shouted from the room, but they didn't hear me, either they were asleep or they didn't care. One elderly grandmother👵🏻 even got up and went to them with the help of a crutch🩼 to give me something, but they did not come. Then, when I endured, I realized that I had gone through the worst both mentally and physically.
Dani, nedelje su prolazili... Tada sam ustvari shvatila da ja u sebi imam 10 šrafova🔩, 10 kukica🪝 i 2 šipke koje drže moju kičmu pravom.
Tada mi je saopšteno da ne smem da treniram nista sem plivanja🏊🏻♀️ i fizikalne terapije.
Moj svet se srušio, i pitala sam se samo "zašto ja"
Za svaki problem se uglavnom pitamo zašto mi?🧐
Ali svi na svetu kroz nešto prolaze.
Posle operacije, i posle kratkog oporavka u Beogradu, vratila sam se za Vršac, i nakon 6 meseci sam morala da se vratim za Beograd da idem na fizikalne terapije koje moram i dan danas da radim.🤷🏻♀️
Days, weeks passed... That's when I actually realized that I have 10 screws🔩, 10 hooks🪝 and 2 rods inside me that keep my spine straight.
Then I was told that I must not train anything except swimming🏊🏻♀️ and physical therapy.
My world came crashing down, and all I asked was "why me"
For every problem we mostly ask why us?🧐
But everyone in the world goes through something.
After the operation, and after a short recovery in Belgrade, I returned to Vršac, and after 6 months I had to return to Belgrade to go to physical therapy, which I still have to do to this day.🤷🏻♀️
Neko vreme sam bila u velikoj depresiji, nisam želela iz kuće da izlazim, nisam želela da nosim kratke majice zbog ožiljka koji mi je preko cele kičme. Naglo sam smršala, nisam imala kontakt sa ljudima i prolazila sam kroz težak period.😶
Imala sam operaciju pre 2 meseca opet jer mi je iskočila burza u kičmi koja me je mnogo bolela, koja mi je otežavala rad na poslu, pre svega je i fizički jako loše izgledalo. Na kontroli su mi rekli da će da mi zakažu opet operaciju, i bila je nakon 2 nedelje od kontrole.
Kada sam se vratila nazad, bio ja isti strah kao i prvi put samo mnogo veći jer znam šta sam prošla prvi put, znala sam da opet idem pod nož.🔪
Sva sreća, nekako je ovog puta malo bolje izgledalo jer su bili odgovorniji medicinski radnici, obilazili su me celu noć, pitali me stalno da li mi treba neki lek💊 ili bilo šta slično. Posle operacije su mi sa gaze kapali💧 vodu u grlo čisto da mi ga pokvase, što mi je mnogo bilo bitno jer sam bila ekstremno žedna. Nije me toliko užasno bolelo kao prvi put, ali su svi pacijenti tu pa i ja imali dobar tretman. U šok sobi su me zadržali par sati🕗, i prebacili su me u moju. Nakon dva dana su me stavili na noge, i isto sam se forsirala da što više šetam.
Jela sam stojeći i u hodu.🍔
I was very depressed for a while, I didn't want to leave the house, I didn't want to wear short shirts because of the scar that is all over my spine. I suddenly lost weight, I had no contact with people and I was going through a difficult period.😶
I had an operation 2 months ago again because the bursa in my spine popped out, which hurt me a lot, which made it difficult for me to work at work, first of all, it looked very bad physically. At the checkup, they told me that they were going to schedule another operation, and it was 2 weeks after the checkup.
When I went back, I was the same fear as the first time, only much bigger because I know what I went through the first time, I knew I was going under the knife again.🔪
Fortunately, somehow it looked a little better this time because the medical workers were more responsible, they visited me all night, constantly asking me if I needed any medicine💊 or anything like that. After the operation, they dripped water from the gauze💧 down my throat just to wet it, which was very important to me because I was extremely thirsty. It didn't hurt as badly as the first time, but all the patients were there, so I had a good treatment. They kept me in the shock room for a couple of hours🕗, and they transferred me to my room. After two days, they put me on my feet, and I also forced myself to walk as much as possible.
I ate standing and walking.🍔
Bilo mi je mnogo lakše jer sam mogla ovog puta sama da se obučem, obujem, okupam🛀🏻, vežem pertle i nisam zavisila ni od koga, nije bilo kao prvi put.
Izvadili su iz mene kukicu🪝, sada ih imam 9, ostaju tu do kraja života, i to je sada deo mene, i čak mi je sada smešno zašto sam imala kompleks za ožiljak, jer sam ipak shvatila da je to deo mene, kroz šta sam ja to veliko prošla, sada sam ponosna na njega. I u ime moje pobede sam uradila tetovažu ruže🌹, jer sam se operisala prvi put u periodu kada su cvetale ruže, i predstavlja novu mene.
It was much easier for me because this time I could dress myself, put on my shoes, take a bath🛀🏻, tie my shoelaces and I didn't depend on anyone, it wasn't like the first time.
They took a hook🪝 out of me, now I have 9 of them, they stay there for the rest of my life, and it's now a part of me, and even now it's funny to me why I had a scar complex, because I still understood that it's a part of me, what I've been through I got through it a lot, now I'm proud of him. And in the name of my victory, I got a rose🌹 tattoo, because I had surgery for the first time in the period when roses were blooming, and it represents the new me.
Danas barem nisam u invalidskim kolicima🦽 a mogla sam biti da se nisam operisala.
Možda danas ne mogu trenirati niti raditi mnogo težak posao(i ako radim dosta fizički težak za moju kičmu), ali barem znam da sam zdrava i da sam tu gde jesam, i zato deca trebaju da se čuvaju, proveravaju stalno i biti uporni za sve, nada je uvek tu.😌 A za sve što prolazimo loše, uvek iz toga izađemo jači, a ja sam primer toga. Volim sebe, svoje telo, svoja dva ožiljka, svoje šipke, šrafove i kukice.
Volim svaki deo mene.🔩
Today, at least I'm not in a wheelchair🦽, and I could have been if I hadn't had surgery.
Maybe today I can't train or do a lot of hard work (and if I do, it's quite physically difficult for my spine), but at least I know that I'm healthy and that I'm where I am, and that's why children should take care, check constantly and be persistent for everything , hope is always there.😌 And for everything we go through badly, we always come out stronger, and I'm an example of that. I love myself, my body, my two scars, my rods, screws and hooks.
I love every part of me.🔩
Skratila sam moj jedan deo životne priče što sam više mogla, i ako je ova cela priča mnogo duboka i opširnija. Ovo je kukica koja je izvađena na poslednjoj operaciji, takvih još 9 imam u sebi i sve ih volim, zajedno sa ostalim njegovim delovima.🩷
I shortened my one part of the life story as much as I could, even if this whole story is much deeper and more extensive. This is the hook that was removed at the last surgery, I have 9 more of these in me and I love them all, along with the rest of his parts.🩷
Pozdrav od vaše Rebeke😘
Greeting from your Rebecca😘