Alicia skipped alongside Dapper over the grassy fields under the star filled sky, feeling much better after having met several Vorpals. They all were so much friendlier than she had been told Vorpals were; she was taught as long as she could remember that they were all homicidal monsters. But Dapper, despite his creepy appearance, was not only great company, but her rescuer from real monsters that also just so happened to be Human.
“So, Dapper… how old are you, exactly?”
“No idea.”
Alicia stopped skipping, befuddled at his answer. “What? How can you not know?”
“How CAN you know? Do you remember everything since your first moment of existence?”
“No, my parents told me when I was born. I’m nine years old.”
Dapper took a turn looking completely shocked. “What? Nine YEARS? I thought you were a child!”
Alicia scoffed. “I am. I don’t think I’m really considered an adult until I’m about eighteen...”
“So nine MORE years? How do you humans do anything when it takes you so long to grow up!”
“You look a lot older than eighteen, though. Are you really sure you aren’t older than that?”
“Hmm… I never really thought of it like that. As I said, my age is a mystery. Well, well. Alicia, you managed to completely rend apart how I previously perceived the world. You are truly a bright and insightful mind.”
Alicia sighed, unsure how her simple question could be considered remotely insightful. “Ok… well… thanks I guess… ”
Dapper shook his head. “Goodness… now I need to think of an equally seismic quandary just to keep up… hmmmmm… Oh! I know!”
Dapper leapt in front of Alicia facing towards her, startling her slightly. “How do the casters make the keys to the Gateways?”
Alicia blinked. “Um… I don’t know.”
Dapper stood as still as a statue for a moment, then sighed with disappointment. “Well, that was a dud… I thought for sure a scholar like you would know…”
Alicia couldn’t help staring at the gaping voids in Dapper’s head where his eyes should have been. “If you don’t mind me asking… what happened to your eyes?”
“Many Vorpals don’t need eyes. We have an inner eye that lets us see.”
“Um, all right. How does that work then?”
Dapper again stopped for a moment, looking stumped yet again. “You know… I’m not entirely sure…”
Alicia tried another question as they continued walking. “I have another one… why do Vorpals want to kill casters?”
Dapper scratched his head. “I don’t know if I could really say why… we are just supposed to.”
“But why are you supposed to?”
“We just are, just like we eat and breathe. We have to.”
“You need to eat? Like, real food?”
Dapper looked at Alicia. “Yes, but wait a spell… do you eat food too? Humans eat and drink, just like Vorpals?”
Alicia’s stomach growled, answering for her. Dapper let out a relieved sigh. “Oh, thank god. I thought I would be pressured to walk the whole way without stopping for a meal. Are you hungry as well, Alicia?”
Alicia nodded vehemently. “But… where do we get food here? There’s nothing but grasslands in all directions.”
Dapper pulled out his map, turning it upside down and sideways while he made all kinds of strained expressions. “Well, this says the city of Goliath is right around…”
As a shadow extended overhead and in front of them, a massive stone leg slammed into the ground mere feet to the right of Dapper, creating a deafening boom. Alicia yelled in surprise, while Dapper merely looked up from the map at the sudden disturbance. “Oh. Right here.”
Dapper scooped up Alicia and stretched his arm above him, pulling himself up the newly arrived giant. He repeatedly slung himself up with his stretching arm to maintain his momentum while Alicia kept her eyes tightly shut against the buffeting wind. He landed on solid ground, and set Alicia down on her feet gently. She opened her eyes slowly, and was greeted with an amazing sight.
An entire amusement park, with vendors selling sweets and rides including a ferris wheel and roller coaster that ran inside artificial tunnels and around the giant Vorpal, decorated with colorful otherworldly lights. Alicia’s dropped jaw morphed into an amazed smile, as she ran forward with Dapper close behind.
While the Vorpals populating the event were scarce, the ones around were slightly more normal looking than the ones around Oracle’s cottage, and gave Alicia intrigued looks rather than aggressive. Several wanted to walk up and shake her hand or chat, but she could not understand their language well, and Dapper inevitably shooed them away.
Dapper got two strange fruit kabob consisting of multiple colored slices that Alicia could not recognize from a vendor, and handed one to her. She eyed them skeptically, as they dripped slightly on the ground. “Are you sure these are edible for Humans?”
Dapper had already eaten half his, and choked down the fruit he had in his mouth before responding. “I didn’t know Humans needed to eat until a few minutes ago, and you expect me to know your dietary restrictions? I suspect it to be perfectly acceptable, but please feel free to try anything else that looks good to you.”
Alicia looked around. There was no shortage of options, but she was also aware that she was a guest with no money of her own. “I don’t want to impose… do you have enough money for that?”
Dapper tilted his head at her comment as he finished the last of his kabob. “Money? We don’t use that.”
“What? Everything is FREE?”
“Oh, no, no, the citizens of Goliath work very hard to provide these goods. But they don’t require anything from us. Vorpals don’t keep score, we just help each other whenever it is required. If they asked something of me, I would oblige to the best of my ability without a second thought.”
Alicia immediately ran up and got a large bundle of light green tinted cotton candy, but when she bit into it realized it was not spun from sugar. It was instead an incredibly light pasta, with sauce drizzled all throughout the precarious construct. After finishing, Dapper snatched the remaining paper stick and stretched it over to a nearby trash bin, chuckling slightly. “My, you were famished. Ready to go, though? I thought you wished to get back home.”
Alicia ran over to the rail near the edge and looked over, seeing leagues of grassy plains illuminated by the gentle nighttime starlight as the behemoth trudged along. “I do, but… the Inverse is amazing. I never thought it would have so many… incredible things.”
A hulking mass loomed next to Alicia as she looked over. A top heavy Vorpal having scarred, leathery gray skin along with thick arms and hands coupled with a bald rounded head regarded her. Face covered by a metal mask with white glowing eyes peering through the bars, it breathed heavily, expression inscrutable. Alicia turned and, trying to be polite, extended an arm to shake hands. “Hello. I’m Alicia.”
The monster grabbed Alicia with one of its massive hands, knocking the wind out of her and exerting a large amount of pressure. It spoke with a deep voice that echoed from behind the metal mask. “Human. You are in the wrong place. You shall be folded.” The hand continued to squeeze, crushing Alicia in its unbearable grip as she yelled in pain.
Dapper rushed over, punching the Vorpal in the face with a rapidly expanded fist. “Grector! No! That’s my traveling companion, no folding my traveling companions!”
Grector moved very little from the blow, but released his grip as he let Alicia go and turned his attention towards Dapper. “Dapper. You are traveling with a Human? You are Vorpal, not Human.”
“I’m aware of this, Grector. I’m taking her back to the Outverse.”
Grector groaned, again reacting little. “Dapper, I never understand your inane ramblings. She is Human, we fold humans. Kill them, crush them, stab them. Whatever we need to.”
Dapper rolled his head in place of his eyes. “I target casters. This one is not a caster.”
Grector looked back down at Alicia, who was breathing shakily as she held tight to Dapper’s leg, now watching the large Vorpal with suspicion. Grector groaned again. “You can tell if they are caster or not?”
“Yes, can you not?”
“I never cared to try. Why do you?”
“Because I don’t see the point to killing a Human just for the sake of killing.”
Grector was silent, then simply turned and stomped away without so much as a farewell. Dapper grew less tense than he had just been. “Phew… that was close. I was hoping that wouldn’t come to blows. Grector isn’t always so reasonable.”
“THAT was REASONABLE? He was going to kill me!”
Dapper looked down over the edge of the railing as he leaned on it. “It was an honest misunderstanding. He didn’t know you were traveling with me.”
“So, you’re saying that if I wasn’t walking around with you or another Vorpal with me…”
“Any given Vorpal may try to kill you, yes.”
The silence after what Dapper considered a perfectly benign statement stabbed at Alicia. She had almost forgot all the stories she heard of people who had gone missing in the Inverse. “I want to go… now.”
Dapper grabbed Alicia with one arm and held onto the railing with his other as he rappelled down the walking city of Goliath.