I'm currently eating peanut butter crackers as I watch the sea view on Bruny Island, Tasmania - an island off an island off an island. Having read 
Reflections on My Senior Years in High School
Did you know your current love in high school?
No, he was being educated 10,000 miles away in the UK. I would have thought he was hot back then and think we would have been wild together and broken each other's hearts.
What type of car did you drive?
The coolest 1971 Valiant.
What kind of work did you do?
I worked in a cafe, making endless sandwiches and ice creams for tourists. I was addicted to deep fried potato balls called potato gems. Then I worked in a health food cafe.
Where did you live?
About an hour and a half south west of Melbourne in a tiny bit beautiful town on the Great Ocean Road, which is now pretty much a crowded metropolis. Mum still lives there.
Were you popular?
I had a best mate who is still my best mate but when she and I had a petty argument everyone sided with her and I was badly bullied for two years which crushed my self esteem and still impacts on my ability to feel confident around people. I tend to fake it. It utterly crushed me until I stood up for myself and threw a milkshake over one of the ringleaders. I wish I just had hung out with other kids like me instead of desperately trying to fit in all the time.
Tam and I still laugh like this all the time.
Were you in a band or choir?
Nope. Just listened to a lot of music on cassette tapes in the library whilst studying.
What did you do after your graduation ceremony?
You mean after I finished school? Got blind drunk and threw up in a bucket and woke up in a house with lace curtains and a cat.
Ever get suspended?
Yeah, I stole two packets of life savers (sweets) from the school canteen on a dare. I never got caught smoking or wagging though (skipping school).
If you could go back, what experience would you relive?
None. It was hell. Although, music was amazing. School itself, not so much. But I had a great family and lived in a beautiful place - I'd give my right arm to go surfing with my Dad in 1987 again but then I'd just be paddling in circles.
Did you ever skip school?
All the time in the last two years. If the surf was good I'd get off the bus (it took half an hour to get in) and get on the highway and hitch to where my board was stashed and go surfing. I was miserable at school and my grades were suffering due to it. Why stick around? We called it 'wagging', by the way.
Here is me at 15 with a board my uncle shaped me. Over 45 years later after Dad died he came with me to talk to the shaper who would do me a custom board. Don't get me talking about surfing. I also did yoga and horse riding. Both solitary sports that supported my nervous system.
Did you attend football games?
Hahahahahhahahah you don't know how much I hate ball sports.
What was your favourite subject?
I loved all my subjects, but Maths I used to get upset at as I struggled. When my parents talked to the teachers about it they laughed, because I only thought I was bad at it because I was two levels ahead of everyone else doing the hard stuff. I didn't like how some subjects were taught which was the norm back then - copying things off the board. They used to call me Rocket Hand because I'd finish copying just as the teacher turned around. I'd anticipate the next word, you see, because I was really good at English. It pisses me off that my emotional life took over and I didn't take more advantage of my learning opportunities in later years. I was super bright but bored with how I was taught.
Do you still have your yearbook(s)?
Burnt the lot. Too sad.
Here's me around 12 or 13 with Mum. I think I was already struggling then. In retrospect, hormones. My school reports were brilliant til around 14. After that I got a bit naughty and bored with an education system that failed to support or challenge me.
Did you follow your intended career path?
Yes, became a teacher after doing a degree in Literature. Wish I'd done science. I would have loved to do botany or genetics.
Do you still have your high school ring?
What???
Who was your favourite teacher?
My English teacher. She was so passionate and encouraging. She saw me. I felt talented in her classroom and I loved writing and reading books. Damn I wish I had a passionate and caring science teacher who advocated for girls. I hate teaching English now.
What was your hairstyle?
Always ponytails. Easiest after a surf. I got a perm at 16. It was the '80s.
What were your favourite shoes?
Black Doc Martin boots and camouflage Chucks. I still wear Converse to this day.
What was your favourite food?
Hot cheese rolls from the canteen when it was freezing. They were buttery and warm. I was vegetarian so it was one of the few things I could eat from there. We rarely were given lunch money as Mum always gave us healthy sandwiches and tubs of yoghurt and fresh fruit. Couldn't eat yoghurt for at least twenty years after high school. We used to 'scab' money from kids who always had lunch money. If you collected enough 5 cent pieces you could afford a roll. I just remember always being utterly ravenous. We are instant noodles or microwave potatoes with butter when we got home about 4.30.
Who was your favourite singer?
Oh god I was an utter music obsessive and was always listening to music. Most was alternative and I can't recall a singer as such, only lead singers of bands. I suppose I could say PJ Harvey.
What cologne did you wear?
Hahah we used to spray ourselves with Impulse which disguised the cigarette smoke, or at least made us smell like cigarette smoke and Impulse.
But I used to love this little bottle of Indian perfume you'd get from the local health food shop, called Night something? Very sultry and earthy, based on essential oils and dirt cheap. Probably sandalwood and ylang ylang or something.
How old were you when you graduated?
18 in October, finished by end of November.
Did you have any nicknames?
Friends would call me Kyls. I think I just gave away my name. So Australian. Here on Hive I'm Riv or River so don't you dare call me anything else.
Here's me being forced to model by Dad. I dont look impressed. I thought I was so ugly.
What high school did you attend?
A government funded state school in Geelong.
What year did you graduate?
1989
What’s changed the most about the world since you graduated?
Social media and the internet. As if you didn't struggle enough with bullying back then. I think I would have been relentlessly cyber bullied and probably killed myself. It's impacted kids attention spans too - kids don't read so much these days. Access to porn, violence, and more has impacted kids brains. We have let this happen. You are letting this happen.
I read the other day that kids born since 1997 have never known a world without war.
I also think the 80s were a time of innocence in the world. I can't say that about the world now. Poor kids.
How have you changed since high school?
I'm not as timid. I have more self worth. I love learning for the sake of learning. I'm not as emotional, or I can deal with my emotions a lot better. Thanks yoga and Buddhist philosophy.
I'm more persistent with things and I can deal with lows and highs a lot better.
If you could time-travel and tell your teenage self something what would it be?
Fuck, you're gorgeous. Don't care about those girls - they have massive issues and in five years time you won't ever see them again. You are absolutely loved for who you are and if people don't see that, they are weird, not you. Study hard and for goodness sake, reading is a pastime, not a profession. Do science. And when Bitcoin comes along buy heaps. Don't fall in love with every guy (and some girls). It's all good fun so enjoy it, but know your true love IS coming so don't waste your time thinking your worth depends on a relationship.
I hope you enjoyed finding out a little bit more about me. Feel free to comment, reblog and/or participant in this Memoir Monday prompt if you fancy!
With Love,
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