“Happiness is a state of being happy’’ -Oxford dictionary.
This is the answer that one might get when he searches online for the definition of happiness. Evergreen since I saw this question in the discord of hl, I’ve been pondering over it. Thinking about what true happiness means to lay person.
Well, to me happiness is best defined by the one who is feeling it at the moment. A situation by be the happiest of moments for you but in-turn be the saddest moment of another’s life. Let me give you a scenario. When I was in primary I was never the top 3 in my class. It seemed to me that I didn’t care very much; that was what I thought. Even though I was mostly the the top 10, I never really thought or cared about it.
When I moved to primary 4, there was a term where I was second in my class. It was a bit confusing to me cause I always knew the position that I would be, but the change to a higher one shocked me. I was so happy, I walked home proud of myself that day. Now, being second in class is something normal to a nerd or someone who gets it all the time. But since it was my first time I was so “happy”. I felt like I had accomplished a great task. Now can you imagine the expression on face of the persons spot that I took? That term he was the third but I saw that he was not satisfied with his position, he could not understand how and why he has dropped to 3rd instead of first or second as usual.
What is happiness to me?
- From that day I realized that being happy is about the state of your mind.
Having a sound mind is the one thing that can contribute to being happy. If most of your things are going well for you in life, your mind automatically becomes at peace. The peace in your mind then allows you to be happy cause you know that there is nothing out there to stress you. Am not saying that as humans who do not have problems to face. But if most of them have been taken care of then we become okay.
There are times where we hear motivational speakers talk about forgetting your problems and bla bla bla. But when you truly have a problem that requires much attention to solve it drains your energy and slowly your happiness.
- Being truly happy is about being content with what ever comes your way.
For a very long time I never understood this statement. I always thought being content with what ever you had meant that you don’t try to achieve a lot. Now I’ve realised that what is means is to work very hard for the thing that you want and leave the rest to God to Handle. The fact that you have worked hard for it doesn’t mean that you automatically deserve it, but as you work and work hard for it you begin to appreciate what you want.
So even if at the end of the day you don’t get exactly what you wanted, you have gained a lot of experience on the way. You tried out something new and the next time you will be well informed and at a better place to work harder for it. The moment you realize you are working harder for that thing then you are truly content.
- Being happy is about giving your self a little praise for the things you have achieved.
Most of the time the problem with us is that we don’t celebrate the little victories we have along the way so every accomplishment becomes very normal to us. This is where the world contentment plays a key role. Most at times we don’t celebrate the little victories because we think it’s too small and everyone will think we are stupid for passing a test or getting a B in an exam when you could have gotten an A+.
The moment you start thinking about this and what people think then you are stealing your joy away. So celebrate the little things you have achieved in life, feel good when you do them. You and only you know how hard you worked to get that B or to even pass that test that others said it was simple.
Finding happiness.
We are humans and we face a lot of problems everyday. As long as you are not dead there is no problem that cannot be solved. As long as you are not dead you will continue to encounter problems, it all depends on you how you choose to deal with that problem.
Most of the time we are the stealers of our own joy and happiness. This is how I go about finding happiness
- I don’t expect a lot from people
This is one thing that I’ve dwelled on and it seems to working for me perfectly. I for one hate talk and no do. As far as I am concerned if I can’t do something I don’t promise you. I make you aware that I might not be able to do it so that you will be prepared for disappointment.
9 out of 10 times we go round stealing peoples joy by promising them things that we cannot even do for ourselves.
- I appreciate the little being done for me.
At times we tend to belittle or not appreciate the little sacrifices that someone is doing for us. A perfect example is with our parents. Because your friends dad gives him or her money each time he asks doesn’t mean that your dad doesn’t love you because he doesn’t give you as much as you ask.
For all you may know your dad is struggling with a lot of issues. Seeing your through school and other family matters. Show appreciation, be happy with what he is doing for you even though it’s his responsibility he is doing a great job.
- I put myself first but I am not selfish.
This is a statement that took a while but I’ve understood it now. When they say you should put yourself first it doesn’t mean you shouldn’t help people. The problem here is you should not help if at the end of the day your happiness will be affected.
You should be able to come through for people but not when you have to sacrifice a lot for them. Ask yourself, will he do same for me when I am in shit.?
Remember, life itself is a gift to be happy about. So whenever you wake up or you are given another opportunity at life make sure to thank the almighty first before doing any other thing.