Warning: Nearly 18+ added, some of these opinions are not suitable for the ordinary so please read it with an open mind. Thank you so much!!!
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She painted her apathetic lips with the rouge lipstick as her routine, without giving a glance at the mirror to confirm if it was out of edges or not. That was not strange as well, since she had always hated the face she had always seen to the fullest. Is she pulchritudinous? She had no idea. She owned neither an awareness of that thing nor someone to tell her about it. She did not long to know, however. Gorgeous, lovely, or hideous, at the end all would turn to the rolling grayish skulls under those stuck 6 feet. 22 years old. Her most curiosity was invested into the question “When will I die?”. Clear oceanic sky poured out so freshly and brightly above, notwithstanding, she took quiet steps onto the pavement’s shadows.
She was heading to the dating place where her lover was, the one she got to know once she was through her sublimation at the tavern. He saved her from the shooting-up game of those wealthy jobless guys, even though they ended up shooting up their desires in room 225 of the hotel which was located at the alley’s dead end counting from that complicated place. But she was thinking, being high in love was much better than being high in drugs. What kind of love was it then? Apparently she gave no care about. Her non-covert-while-non-overt inamorato took her out for dinner in frequency after several of their pleasure hunts on each other’s shapes, he looked after her gingerly every time their meet took place on beds, as if she was the valuable antique porcelain he won from the auction, not with cash but fist fight against the tavern’s people.
At least, that was his impression on her. Both rarely opened about their lives, despite the fact the two were questioning “Why did a person like you come to such a place?”, nevertheless, they all accepted “I did not match that chaotic and unstable atmosphere.” None of them returned to the alcoholic cabaret posterior to their first joint melting night under the ceiling light which was flickering in the exactly same way they felt about their fates,
flickering, flickering.
And seemed to have fully vanished in case they had not met again.
She chimed the doorbell, getting her body lifted on the blance bedsheet in a jiff. Muscular shade covered all over her sight, his cold thin lips grabbed the red rose petals and the rouge color was divided in half. He had always been this urgent, and she did not need to slow down. His room was a part of the 7th floor of an old yet not degraded apartment, concrete walls sometimes smelt like the very early summertime’s moss growing from rain but that got her feelings flowing strangely smoothly. As it was alike to her soul, the doddery soul was too stubborn to fade away. Wishing to have not been here, since she would soon not be able to leave it anymore. The more days passed, the more usually she came, while summer’s beginning was making a more lasting progress than casual.
The muse folded her waist part, clenching two legs around his rhythmically moving hips, the lower body and chest’s exploding passion contributed to her relentless trembles. For certain, the cool scent of moss forced her to squeeze even harder. He stared at her, steamy sweat slipped on his cheeks one by one then dropped onto her complexion below, a thoroughly introspective gaze for which she wished to have been blind so that she would not have had to correspond. Groans escaped from her larynx, tears overflew her mascara-dried-out eyelashes. She looked up to the ceilings when his lips laid on her cheekbones before sliding down her chin slowly, at last finding his way back to her quivering rosa vermelha, holding it tightly. Her belly tightened, and she felt as something was slipping off her body, a kind of turbulent pain had taken its chance to creep out.
“Are you okay?” He asked with his hands laying her head on the pillow in a suave manner.
“Yes…” Nodding in silence, slim fingers wiped away the tear streams had not yet stopped.
“Did I hurt you?” He leaned forward taking the warm towel unfurling on the bed frame, carefully cleaning the polishedly sweating opposite physique.
“No.”
“You cry every time.” He talked calmly, her heart beat quickly in the meantime.
“I don’t get it either. It feels like… sorts of sorrow have left meー” She turned to him, with her cheeks already dried and blended eyelashes. “ーEver since you looked at me like that.”
“Like how?” He moved to the small tables in the middle of the house, poured out a bitter cup of tea but cooled down.
“Like tearing me out.”
“I didn’t.”
“You did.”
“So love was the thing tearing you out?”
“What?”
He lit up a cigarette, pulled up the glasses and leaned on the wall. The line of smoke was foggy, slithering outside the sky echoing rain sound.
“What do you wanna eat today?” Smoke caressed his face, she saw his smile yet she saw him wry. He was lying to the rain by watching it, but she knew herself was the one his thought directed to. How deceitful, even just to a drizzle.
“I don’t wanna eat today. Can we just stay here? It’s raining, I hate going outside like this.”
“I can go buy for you if needed.”
“Why do you have to be so nice to me?”
“Can’t I?”
“I have nothing to pay you.”
“I don’t need payment.” Raindrops got heavier, they splashed even on the blanket wrapping her body. “There’ll be one day when you meet a person to whom you feel no regret to give out everything you have.” He stamped the cigarette’s light, smiled at her.
“You love me?”
“I guess so. I am not so sure, I simply want to give you all I can.”
“...”
“Why? It’s no use worrying. I feel good since I still have something to give, since I used to think my heart had died of shattering like the rain out there. And I met you. Crazy, right? But now you know my love, so if you don’t want to be embarrassed, you can find somebody else. I am not gonna make it hard for you.”
“You are crazy. What kind of lovers would let go of their love.”
“You act like you have ever been in love.” He gave her a sarcastic smirk.
“Not yet, but maybe already. I don’t know. My sentiments have always been this messy. However…”
“...” He sat on bed next to her, his eyelids lowered, covering those tranquil pupils.
“...I can dedicate my life to you. For absolute.”
“You want to die?” He tangled the curl falling down her ear.
“It’s not like I want to die, but if by chance I have to die, it’s fine to me. And if I have to die to give you anything, that would be more relevant, huh?”
“So you love me?” He burst out laughing, putting hands on her face, playing freely. But his look was profound and grievous, not mentioning that the smile was still hanging on his mouth’s corner.
“I told you I am not sure.” She held his hands which were making tango on her face, leering at him, her eyes disturbed and then turned to somewhere afar.
“Really?” He passed by the lips in front of him, as he was seeding that smile into her.
“That’s the most valuable thing I can ever give you. You are capable of everything if you are alive.”
“How about you? If you die?”
“I’m totally fine to die, I am being honest.”
“So you love me?”
“I am not sure.”
“Haha…”
He climbed up the draft, lying beside his muse. The covering blanket over her small figure was gradually loosened, and finally crossed by his hips. His fingers were tracing on her countenance being warm within body temperatures and the chill-to-bone coolness of a raining afternoon, meanwhile his contemplation got glued to her countenance.
“You are lovely.”
“Am I? I don’t really care.” She shrugged, paying no attention to him. Her sight lengthened to the corner-nearby bathroom’s mirror.
“Tell me.”
“About what?”
“Your death.”
“Well, it’ll come, sooner or later. Naturally or suddenly. Such that simple.” His expression stole a moment of her look, after a deep inhalation, she went on. “I have nothing to feel regretful about. I think I reincarnated so early that I couldn’t forget the acerbic flavor of life, which led to my living boredom. Come and go, everything would be the same way.”
“So what is the difference if I die? While you want to devote yours to me?”
“... I don’t know myself. Pretty sure… because I want you to live on…?!” Her discolored rose sprouted, even corn kernel-alike teeth bloomed into a twinkle which was youthful and scenting like a blossoming rose. Surprise came in his eyes.
“I wish I had made you smile more,” He fondled her soft hair gently, whispering but loudly enough for her to hear. “You are so gorgeous with smiles.” Her eyes blinked, except for the accidental smile, this blinking was also the first expression of hers he had ever seen.
“I wish you would live,” She rolled her look up the ceilings, and in the consequence of dropping her statement. A devilish shade blindfolded his pupils vaguely. He stretched out his body and brought out intense attention to the outside hissing rainfall, his lips mold pursed. Her head was staying still on his arms, those silky hair waves got sticky due to sweat fairly drying. All of a sudden, a thought boosted an urge at her to sink herself into that rain, the frosty humidity, the freezing sensation, the fresh air, to settle down her heart flaming to ashes.
Giving not a single word, she had her body up and spared the blanket to him. She grasped the clothes she was wearing when she arrived here, putting them over her head. One more of the first times, she prayed to the rain not to cease yet, then urgently leaving the apartment right after a neglectful attachment was gifted on his lips from hers. While for him, that was the first time he had not asked her to stay, instead he kept being lost in his roaming mind and staring at her back until the sound of her heels remained silent amongst the murmuring of raindrops singing on the roof.
/Ting ting/ His phone vibrated on the table.
“You can’t die here yet. Ceilings are decaying, wooden beams are eaten out by weevils, lasting rainy season would damage wood even more. It will collapse just before you can die. Moreover, one life of mine is left for you.”
/Ting ting/ She checked her message box under a bus station’s canopy, raindrops soaked her whole shape in wet, each by each rolled down her hair, dribbling dribbling.
“Would you come tomorrow?”
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My Vietnamese versions here: https://www.wattpad.com/1191538296-t%E1%BA%A3n-v%C4%83n-t%E1%BB%95ng-h%E1%BB%A3p-%C4%91a-th%E1%BB%83-lo%E1%BA%A1i-untitled-part-2/page/2
Drawing was created by me